


Lycoris

by Kicchin



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: F/M, M/M, Shizaya - Freeform, bodyguard Shizuo, everybody wears kimono/yukata, heir Izaya, male geisha, shogun era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2018-11-18 01:40:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 52,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11281071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kicchin/pseuds/Kicchin
Summary: Heiwajima Shizuo upon getting hired as the protector and personal attendant of a mute and mischievous son of a wealthy family gets tangled in a series of events, however things become complicated as stories behind the silence of the boy unravels. Just who exactly is this Orihara Izaya, and why does everybody wants him dead? MedievalJapanAU!Shizaya





	1. Under the Cherry Tree

**Author's Note:**

> MY FIRST SHIZAYA FANFICCCC!! I hope you guys like it please leave a kudos or comment below to let us know your thoughts!

The town of Ikebukuro, mixed of the Western culture that was slowly infiltrating the small island nation and the traditional culture. If there was something peculiar about this town, it was _them_ , the people that resided in the town. If one would use _peculiar_ in this town, one must be specific. How peculiar, what kind of peculiar, peculiar as the black cloak clad woman who comes knocking at people's door with deliveries and parcels, as peculiar as the little girl wielding the cursed katana, or as peculiar as the dark skinned slurry speaking foreign cook at the small sushi shop, or perhaps as peculiar as _him_ —as Heiwajima Shizuo. Heiwajima Shizuo's existence is as peculiar as the black cloak clad woman. As to why or how he is himself, nobody knows…or maybe somebody does, however he himself has no concrete idea as to how a supposedly normal _human_ like him become as he is.

Maybe it was some kind of curse, or maybe it was a blessing, or maybe a kind of mutation in his body, at some point people stopped and got tired of trying to explain the nature of his existence and just accepted the fact that Heiwajima Shizuo, is Hewaijima Shizuo.

Hewaijima Shizuo came from a fairly normal family, a soft spoken mother and a blacksmith father coming from a fairly average family with a single younger brother. Upon his birth it was already apparent that he was _special_. His hair was golden like a slightly burning amber, while his eyes were of lighter shade of brown, like caramel, it wasn't like any of his parents, nor his ancestors. As he grew up things become stranger for the boy, if it wasn't enough that the boy was temperamental for no reason, he was stronger than kids his age—a medical mystery, his friend would say. His bones were no different from others that's what most physicians who looked at his condition would say, his muscles were same as well, however his bodily capabilities were beyond normal. And as he ages through the years, the abnormality went beyond his strength.

And Shizuo came to the moment that this abnormality had become normal, being feared by _normal_ and average people become an often occurrence. It had become so normal for people to be wary of the Monster of Ikebukuro—a name he was given after he became a mercenaries—that it made Shizuo confused as to why someone would have taken a liking in hiring him because of that very fact.

Sitting in the empty parlour of a fairly massive estate in the outskirt of Ikebukuro—one Shizuo had never heard of until today—the young blonde mercenary looked around. The room was spacious with only a few antique vases situated in the rooms. Two days ago, the black cloak clad courier came bearing a letter, an invitation and proposal for a job in an estate— _this_ estate and ironically, that black cloak clad courier is one of the few friends Heiwajima Shizuo has. The courier handed the letter that had no name of the sender, only a seal that looks like a crescent moon in red wax.

The job description was fairly vague, and as difficult it is to believe the so called Monster of Ikebukuro has at least some politeness in his system to at least meet his probable future contractor. Heiwajima Shizuo waited in the room as instructed by the house servants, not that Shizuo would wander around, he would probably end up getting lost in the maze like hallways of the estate. In the silence of the room accompanied by a kettle and cup of tea, Shizuo tried to make a mental image of the owner of the estate, in the far off corner something akin to an insignia was embroiled in a red silk that hung there, at its foot were a simple _ikebana_ —perhaps an old maiden, or an old traditional man. But the question stood among those thoughts.

_WHY HIM?_

And as if the Gods had heard his agonizing trail of confusion and bewilderment, the door slid open, a female house servant stood by the door, never meeting Shizuo's eyes, bowed her head and gestured to someone as she stepped aside. Shizuo's eyes then fell to the person stepping in the room, soft sounds of silk grazing the _tatami_ mats resounded in the room accompanied by the soft and gentle steps. A man with ebony black hair slowly stepped into the room, he was wearing a slate colored kimono paired with a dark blue _obi_ and white stained _haori_. The man's hair was fairly long, tied in a lose ponytail that hung in his shoulder down his chest. He was in no way compared to how Shizuo imagined him.

"Ah Shizuo-kun you came!"

Shizuo flinched as he heard a familiar migraine inducing voice, suddenly and unceremoniously a familiar bespectacled physician popped out from behind the regal looking man. Shizuo suprresed a sigh slipping his lips and the urge to slap himself in the face— _of course, this has to do with him_ , he thought bitterly.

The physician was one of the few people who became infatuated by the fact that Shizuo is _not_ normal—which is not normal, but that was fine by him. Kishitani Shinra, that's his name. The young man was fairly neither older nor younger than Shizuo, for all he knows they were around the same age, but Shinra always had been exceptional in the fields of medicine. He was born from a family of doctors, his father was a prominent figure in discovering peculiar ways to cure diseases and discovering many facets of humanity—or to be more specific, the human limitations and capabilities.

Well honestly, Shinra was in no way similar to his father. Shinra is _not_ interested with the human limitations and capabilities—Shinra was interested in the likes of Shizuo, those that humans would not consider as _normal_.

Shizuo stood to greet the man standing there in front of his friend and across him, the man graced Shizuo with a smile. Looking at the man, Shizuo could see that the massive estate was not just to gloat, this man smelled the scent of someone of noble birth or something akin to that. His eyes glint of wisdom and experience of the real world, almost like an aging centennial man, however his body suggested otherwise.

"Welcome Hewaijima-san." The man said as he stepped in, "Kishitani-sensei mentioned you to me."

Shinra with his goofy smile bounced in his feet as he walked behind the man. It never amused Shizuo how on earth was able to woo the black cloak clad courier, they were _too_ different.

"Shizuo-kun, this is the head of the family and the estate," Shinra gestured to the man, "Orihara Suichiro, one of Tokyo's best informant."

"I-Informant?" Shizuo muttered, what the heck is an informant anyway.

"You could say that I work as a spy for the country, Heiwajima-san." Suichiro said smiling. "I sell information to the government…and sometimes, for other landlords as well."

Then it clicked to Shizuo, this man…was the one who needs his service. It wasn't new that he was hired by people to protect them, the pay was bigger. However, something doesn't seem right. When Shinra is involve—something _always_ isn't right. The man walked towards the low table and sat on the cushion with a grace of noble. Shizuo followed his suite and sat.

Up close Shizuo found himself staring at the man's eyes, it was usually impolite to do so, however curiosity got ahead of him. The man's eyes were pitch black. It was slight being covered by his hair however, Shizuo was sure his eyes were black. He had never seen someone with those kinds of eyes—it was like the color of black pearls.

"Anyways," Shinra chirped, "Shizuo-kun I recommended you for this job."

Suichiro nodded and hummed in agreement, "With these matters, I always trust Kishitani-sensei's conviction. I would like acquire your service as a swordsman and someone _exactly_ like you. I do believe no one else could do the job except you, Heiwajima-san."

Shizuo sighed and ran his hand through his hair before looking right at his friend, "I do hope that Kishitani- _sensei,"_ Shizuo emphasizes this friend's last name and title as if challenging the doctor with his decision, "that I am not quite the most careful and gentle tool in the box."

The man laughed and shook his head, "Oh go rampant all you want here Heiwajima-san, I am very and readily aware of that fact. Kishitani-sensei did inform me of that matter _and_ that I came to the decision that _you_ are indeed what I need for this job."

"Well I do understand why you need my service." Shizuo replied, "But I still don't understand why _me_ of all."

This time Shinra chuckled, "Oh trust me, _only you_ can do it Shizuo-kun."

The man smiled at Shizuo, and somehow something told Shizuo that the smile he just gave him was sincere. The man bowed his head much to Shizuo's surprise.

" _Please_ accept the offer Heiwajima-san."

.

.

.

Heiwajima Shizuo was ten years old when the son of Kishitani Shingen—the town's doctor—came to live with his father. The boy was Kishitani Shinra, a child prodigy or so his father said. Shinra was not like any kids his age, no, not in terms of peculiarity like Shizuo. Shinra just didn't have much of an interest with people as much as his father did which was expected from someone who was to be expected to inherit his father's profession. Shinra is interested with things that were _not_ normal—which is how they met.

Honestly, Shinra was a migraine in flesh, the moment Shizuo showed the other his temperamental and exploding anger accompanied with lifting a whole cart with one hand, the dark haired boy never stopped pestering Shizuo on how, why, what could have caused this _abnormality_ in his system. He was one of the few who never really got tired of trying to figure out why Shizuo was himself, why he could lift cart weighing five times his weight, or how could he flick someone's forehead and send them flying a mile across? However, Shinra was also one of the few who dare never to call him _monster_. Rather he would use the word fortissimo to describe his temperamental persona.

And partly his treatment of him was influence by _her_ existence.

However the matter at hand was not that, the matter at hand was the fact that his friend probably had gotten him in some serious business—and serious business never really meant good when it involved someone who dislikes the mediocre life. Shizuo was dismissed much to his surprise, however what made the blonde mercenary even more shock was the fact that the man dismissed and left saying— _"Kishitani-sensei would show you the station of your job._ " This only meant that despite Suichiro being his official contractor in this job, his job does not revolve on the man, but someone else.

The word etched into his mind by his own set of vocabularies was very ominous, _someone else_ smelled like trouble for Shizuo. He always wanted to meet his subject the very first thing he accepts the job, and having someone else involve aside from him and his contractor doesn't sound good at all. Shizuo would have twisted Shinra's neck and punch the daylight out of him if he wasn't his friend for bringing him again in something akin to crossing the river of the dead. Despite the tranquil atmosphere surrounding the estate, Shinra's presence in this house didn't fit it at all. It only meant something _strange_ is in here. It wasn't a few more steps until Shizuo realized that they were starting to head to the East-most part of the estate, and fewer servants seem to come passing them.

"We're close." Shinra said out of the blue.

Shizuo felt something tugged his attention, and he came to halt. He turned and found the garden in his right. The stone garden was neatly kept, and was adorned by…

"Are those…spider lilies?"

Shinra stopped and turned to where his friend's line of sight was, "Oh, yeah." He replied.

"Why…spider lilies I mean…"

"Well let's just say _he_ has a poor taste in humor?"

Shizuo wanted to ask who his friend meant however he was beaten to it when the other asked him to follow him. As they continue walking Shizuo realized the silence had become more deafening, only the sounds of the leaves and grass swaying against the winds could be heard and their faint footsteps against the floorboards. This part of the estate looked extremely gloomy as well, not much like the rest of the estate. Shinra stopped as he found a woman standing by the porch overlooking what seems to be a garden.

The woman seems to have spotted them and sighed before she flicks her long hair from that hung from her shoulder. She had what seems to be a permanent scowl in her lips making Shizuo slightly wary of her presence—she does not look _welcoming_ at all. She wore a lime green kimono and a matching red obi that didn't quite look right. She stormed towards the two looking angrier.

"What took you so long?" she asked Shinra with an authoritative tone. She opened her mouth to say something again when his eyes fell on Shizuo, and slowly down to the weapon fastened in his waist. A mercenary she thought to herself.

The woman was Yagiri Namie, (un)fortunately she is currently the head of the estate's concubine. The woman came from a long and respectable line of herbalist. She would lie if she would say that she married and agreed to live with Orihara Suichiro due to love. Romance has nothing to do with all of this. It could be money, but surely not love. Suichiro was just…free, and she needed somewhere, a protection of sort from all the stupid things she came up with in the past.

"Ah, I see you have the answer to your question now, Yagiri-san." Shinra said chuckling before motioning to Shizuo, "This is him. Heiwajima Shizuo-kun."

Namie's eyes went from Shizuo's head to toe, and with a smug grin she replied, "Doesn't look so angry to me."

"Eh, isn't that good Shizuo-kun, Yagiri-san doesn't think you look scary!"

Shizuo wanted to argue, _he doesn't look_ _ **that**_ _angry always_ , however he was again beaten to it by Namie introducing herself.

"I am the head of the estate's concubine, Yagiri Namie. Welcome to Orihara estate…and _good luck_."

The last part felt like an omen, as if the other was saying 'start singing your prayers' and that doesn't seem right. What was he dealing with anyways? Shizuo was itching to know.

"Eh, don't say it like that Yagiri-san, I am starting to think that you're one of the reason why no one stays long enough." Shinra said with his usual smile, however this time he sounded offended. "You scare them."

"I don't." Namie replied frowning, " _He_ does."

He? Shizuo blinked rapidly, oh…so it's a boy?

"Oh come on, you might be just rough on him."

"I am not," Namie replied, "I am merely stating facts, he tried to poison his former attendants by giving them a tea made of the stems of lycoris!"

Shizuo stared wide eye at the other's story while Shinra merely chuckled—albeit awkwardly.

"Well, what can we do, he's a curious person."

"Or evil."

"Now, Yagiri-san that's not really nice."

"I don't plan on playing nice." Namie huffed, "Anyhow, since you are here, I assume I have no reasons of watching that evil incarnate in trying to plot the end of humanity. I shall take my leave."

Shinra waved at the woman who walked pass the two males.

"Don't mind her, she loves exaggerating." Shinra said with his smile again. As soon as Namie was out of sight Shinra walked towards where Namie stood earlier before she came towards them.

The soft wind blew as Shinra came to a stop and faced the garden. Shizuo turned to where his friend was looking. The garden was unlike all those around the estate, it was filled with green grass, a gazebo stood in the midst of it, and a lone cherry stood there blooming despite being out of the season. Shinra didn't say anything and went down to the garden. The grass rustled underneath his weight. Shizuo followed his friend, and then he found himself stopping midway.

A figure.

There was someone standing in front of the cherry tree.

"You know there's a saying…under the cherry tree there is…a dead body." Shinra said. The gloomy words seemed to be in a form of jest whenever it comes from the doctor, even Shizuo didn't know which did he intend to deliver. Shizuo followed Shinra as they approached the figure seemingly unaffected by their presence nor Shinra's stupid humor. "Come on, some reaction would be nice, I know you can hear me perfectly."

The blonde and his friend both stopped a few feet away from the figure whose shoulders stiffened for a moment before a quiet sigh escaped the other's lips. And slowly the figure turned to them, and for the first time in his whole life Shizuo was mesmerized. His hair was black as a raven's feather, and his skin was as white as ivory, and smooth as porcelain, and his eyes…his eyes, most of all, were the color of blood, of lycoris. He was very skinny for a boy and for his height, he wasn't any taller than Shizuo but not smaller than Shinra either. The left hem of his red and black kimono decorated with what seems circular patterns was almost sliding off from his shoulders due to his size, and a gold hair ornament was clipped in the side of his head. If one wasn't trained enough, it would be easy to mistake this person as a female.

Shizuo almost flinched when he felt the hard and cold stare of those red eyes on him. What on earth was his problem?

"He's the same age as us," Shinra said to the blonde, "So…I guess its not gonna be that difficult."

Shizuo watched as the crimson eyed raven frowned even more, suddenly he raised his hands and made a series of gestures and signs to Shinra. Shizuo raised his eyebrow in complete bewilderment of whatever was happening between the two.

"Oh, no, no, you don't have a say in this _Izaya_ -kun." Shinra said chuckling, the raven haired boy whose name was Izaya didn't look pleased with Shinra's declaration. "He will stay whether you like…or you _will_ have to like it."

The raven haired made another gesture making Shinra laugh.

"Yes, you don't have a choice Izaya-kun."

Izaya eyed the new comer, if it wasn't enough that his father had taken his childhood friend as his personal physician, he even went as far as taking a permanently smug woman as his concubine, and _now_ a mercenary as his personal attendant? Izaya wanted growl and whine, and roll over the dirt from all the ridiculous lengths his father is going through. And what qualified him to be here? Izaya made it sure to make it clear that _no one_ is capable and will be able to protect him or at least _take care_ of him other than himself.

"Shizuo," Shinra called his friend's attention, "from now on, Izaya-kun…will be in your care. He is the son of the head of the estate, and your job is to keep him safe, from _everything_. And by that, it means even from himself. He can be a handful and well… _asshole_ but that's just him. Don't let him get to you. And also, you cannot allow him to leave on his own—if he insists, do _everything_ to refrain him from doing so."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow, "Everything, are you sure you should be using that word?"

Shinra smiled, "Yes." The doctor replied nonchalantly, "And everything, we meant literally. Which is why we chose you."

Shizuo turned to the raven haired male who huffed silently before walking pass the two towards the gaebo. Shinra wasn't telling him everything, Shizuo thought quietly. First, how come he sounds so casual towards this guy, he seems to have known him for so long, and that doesn't add up. Shinra never mentioned this person before. Also why would someone hire someone who could do fatal damages to people to guard a lanky looking boy? What was he aside from the son of some informant? And why is this guy using Shinra here?

"I'm Izaya's personal physician if you may know." Shinra said as they both followed Izaya to the gazebo, "Since when? Since…hmm…since seven years ago."

Shizuo stopped and gave Shinra the usual are-you-kidding-me look, "You were eleven, seven years ago." Shizuo pointed out.

Shinra laughed, "I know Shizuo-kun."

"You can't possibly—"

"I took it upon myself." Shinra said in a much serious tone, "It's my decision to become Izaya-kun's attending physician, I used what I had back then for his betterment. I learn as I treat him."

The word choice of his friend rose suspicion to the blonde, he sounded sad and regretful, however, that Izaya doesn't look much of someone who is sick—except the fact that he doesn't seem to realize the existence of rice and protein. Izaya looks fairly normal, so why did Shinra sounded like this guy was in terminal stage of some disease?

Izaya suddenly turned to face the two and made a big and fast hand gestures.

"No, he will stay Izaya-kun."

"What?" Shizuo finally snapped, he didn't like this secret codes or whatever they were doing, what was Izaya saying and how come only Shinra can understand.

Shinra shook his head and sigh before turning to Shizuo , "He was asking why are _you_ still here."

"How did you know that, he didn't say anything."

Shizuo was starting to think that Shinra has some kind of ability to understand stuffs that humans don't, is this guy like that person? How come can Shinra understand him, and yet Shizuo does not hear a word from the other, and what's with those coded gestures.

"It's a kind of communication we developed in order to understand each other without the use of word Shizuo-kun." Shinra explained. Shizuo noticed the raven frowning even more.

"Izaya's mute."


	2. Curse of the Cresent Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 2 AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KUDOS AND REVIRWWSSSSS I LOVE YOU GUYS! HOPE YOU LIKE UPDATE!! I will try and keep up with the updates from FF. Net  
> Thank you again!

Kishitani Shinra knew he wasn't like any other kids his age. Unlike any other kids his age, Shinra was brought up in the world of medicine in a very young age, the human body had become as simple as the mechanics of wooden cart for the boy, and the names of plants and medicines to treat almost every single wound had been as usual as the names of their neighbours, and stitching flesh was as easy as stitching his stuffed animal back. Medicine had become natural as breathing to the boy. And if it wasn't enough yet, Shinra lived with a headless woman, no, not a preserved human specimen without a head—but rather a walking, moving, headless body of a woman.

Her name is Celty Sturlson, fairy of some sort that to some unknown reason had no recollection of her past that his father brought home at some point. Despite the absence of her head, she could move, see, hear and process information, however she does bleed, die or grow old. His father had let the boy once handle dissecting the headless body, this only proved the abnormality of her existence, her skin is made almost as similar as a normal human being's however she does not scar, or actually get wounded. Despite this, Celty could respond into pain stimuli, cold and all other tactile stimuli.

Basically, Shinra was never the average citizen, and maybe it was his father's fault—Kishitani Shingen, well he wasn't as ordinary as anyone is anyways. Kishitani Shingen was the one who had taught his beloved son all he knows, however, Shinra didn't develop the fascination towards the typical human structure as much as his father did.

And maybe it was due to the fact that Shinra grew fascinated towards the existence of Celty. The mystery of her existence perhaps had unconsciously left a seed of curiosity to him. It made the boy drawn towards what _nature_ could not simply explain. He didn't hide this fact, all the more his admiration towards the headless woman who lived with him. His father never told him it was wrong, nor did he stop him from this. Shinra didn't understand however was glad of this fact—not that he'd let him tell him how he should feel anyways. His father, Kishitani Shingen never stopped or hindered his son's way of thinking, rather he cultured and _nurtured_ it. And that was why he brought him to a place where he knew would cater his son's curious mind.

And Ikebukuro came into sight.

And it was a paradise for Shinra's mind. First was Heiwajima Shizuo, a medical mystery, he is human, given, however his physical capabilities go beyond _humanly_ possible. People called the boy _monster_ , but Shinra begged to differ—Shizuo is human he just happen to possess something quite not common. There was just so many things that science and knowledge available in Japan could not yet explain, and it was the greatest thing that Shinra had ever had.

Mainly, Shinra _loves_ the city.

The city never ridiculed or asked the reason why Celty was Celty, the city gave Celty the opportunity to be whatever she wants to be, the city welcomed their existence. Celty didn't mind being an urban legend in flesh, people never actually run away screaming with wide eyes, despite her black cloak that covered from where her head should have been down her toes which in normal cases would make people think she was some sort of death reaper—which naturally what she is. This enabled her to walk around the town and have a normal life—as normal as one whose existence is naturally abnormal. Soon, Celty was able to come up with a job, a courier. Shinra was ecstatic about this, back in the Heian-Kyo, Celty could not leave the house in fear that people may start chasing her with torches and farming tools. And what made Celty happy, made Shinra contented.

Even at a young age, Shinra had a broad idea of _love_. A love that extends outside the complexity of blood bound. Shinra understood the basic of human relation, and it was one of the things that made Shinra unlike any kids his age.

And the last was finally…was _him_.

.

.

Shinra sighs looking at the tension building up in Izaya's room. Izaya isn't happy about the current arrangement, and Shizuo…was less than pleased due to Izaya's lack of cooperation. He could feel Shizuo's slowly thinning patience about other's reluctance. Well…Izaya was never actually happy about his father's plans anyways. However, if this arrangement does not work, Shinra doesn't know what will. For the past few years Izaya's father had tried numerous people to get Izaya to agree about _this_ , however one way or another Izaya would find a way to get whoever they hired to leave the estate—if not greatly traumatized, then severely wounded—and he would simply tell them that these people are _not_ capable of protecting him, and only he can protect and trust himself.

Basically, Shizuo is their last resort.

It is not like Izaya is actually, entirely, incapable of protecting himself. Despite his lanky appearance Izaya could trick anyone into jumping into their deaths. However, history has it that this is not an absolute fact. And this is why Shizuo is here…only Shnra could hope that they would just stop trying to burn each other's existence through that staring contest they had enagegd about a few moments ago since Shizuo's arrival.

"CAN YOU TELL HIM TO STOP STARING AT ME, IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!" Shizuo exclaimed loudly at Shinra as he pointed a finger at the raven haired boy.

"Shizuo-kun please lower your voice." Shinra said trying to calm his raging friend.

To Shinra's surprise, he saw Izaya marching across the room towards them. With his eyebrows furrowed, the son of the head of the estate raised his hand to slap away the accusing finger of Shizuo. With a dignified look, Izaya started making a series of erratic hand signs, this showed his obvious dismay to Shizuo.

" _Tell this idiot that he has no right at all to point a finger at me!"_ Izaya signed to his friend.

"But Izaya-kun staring is quite ru—"

" _And pointing a finger isn't?!"_ Izaya argued.

"Apologize for staring Izaya-kun, then Shizuo-kun will apologize for pointing a finger, ne?"

" _No!"_ Izaya replied with his hands, _"I am not going to stoop low as this peasant."_

Shinra sighed, he had no idea how to appease the two bickering party and now as Shizuo's eyes bore into Shinra's head he could feel the intensity of the other's curiosity on their conversation. Izaya turned to Shizuo staring at the blonde for a moment before huffing and turning away. Shinra wanted to curse himself, the disadvantage of this arrangement had shown a bit too soon—not that he expected that Izaya would have been compliant in the first place anyways.

"Izaya-kun's just like that." Shinra said smiling awkwardly at Shizuo, "He's been cooped up here for a long time so it is quite given that he's hostile with people."

"Tell him stop staring."

"He can't help it." Shinra said this time smiling as he turned to Izaya's figure whose back is now turned towards the two. "He's curious about your hair."

Shinra's declaration earned him his expected reaction from the raven haired boy.

" _AM NOT!"_ Izaya retorted with a big gesture making the doctor chuckle.

"He said, he isn't" Shinra translated for Shizuo's sake, "Anyhow, since you are staying here, you might as well learn sign language."

Shizuo raised an eyebrow, "Do I really need to?"

Izaya smirked, _"Told you he's an idiot."_

"Izaya-kun stop insulting your attendant."

Shizuo frowned, "The hell did that kid just said?"

"That's why you have to learn Shizuo-kun," Shinra said sighing, "He could insult all he wants and you wouldn't know because you don't understand him."

Shinra sighed and reached to the inside of his kimono where he kept a book he had brought for Izaya years ago, handing over the ancient book to the blonde the doctor saw Izaya's eyes widen.

" _NO! This is unfair!"_ Izaya signed to Shinra as he walked towards the two.

Shizuo took the book and flipped over the pages, there pages were filled with illustrations and complicated hand signals. It would be a pain to remember and memorize all of this, but on the brighter side once he learn all these, the cheeky little raven haired _tick_ couldn't trick him anymore, or bad-mouth him without his notice. Shizuo smirked in triumph as he held the book. "Well, thank you for your consideration then."

" _Shinra you're a traitor!"_ Izaya signed to Shinra as he furrowed his eyes towards his doctor.

"Izaya-kun you're exaggerating, I'm starting to think Yagiri-san is rubbing on you."

" _NO! That vile of a woman is not, and will never, affect me!"_

Shinra chuckled, "Oh well, whatever you say Izaya-kun."

Izaya stared right at Shizuo and the raven haired boy started making a lot of gestures that seems to be directed for the blonde who obviously unaware of whatever, threat, angst, or complain he was giving him. Shinra however merely chuckled awkwardly as shook his head. This is surely going to be a _very_ long process.

.

.

.

"What the hell did the prick said?"

Shinra chuckled at the question, well there it goes, the obvious repelling of two forces.

The doctor volunteered to tour Izaya's new attendant around the East Wing where he should and need to be familiar with. Izaya obviously has a heap of argument about Shizuo and the feelings seem mutual for Shizuo. "He said, he does not like you at all." Shinra said as they walk on the empty hallways.

East Wing is naturally empty, it wasn't the head estate's order or anything, all the arrangement done here was due to Izaya. Izaya disliked being surrounded by people he didn't know, it made him feel out of control, which causes some things to resurface, things that elicited unwanted reactions from the raven haired boy which for over eight years they both tried to overcome. To be able for the raven to be appeased, they have to forbid anyone from staying in the East Wing. Just the knowledge that someone other than himself is sleeping in the same corridors keeps Izaya awake all night. That was the height of his anxiety.

"Well good for him, I don't like him as much." Shizuo replied.

"But you got to remember though, your job has everything to do with him." Shinra said as he looked at his friend.

It wasn't until two years ago that Shinra had thought of this, back then Izaya was still with an attendant his father hired, unfortunately the poor soul gave up after slightly getting poisoned with Izaya's tea, he thought that would there be a person that Izaya could not play, someone unpredictable, someone whose immune with all these things and brutality this person could come up with? Then an image popped into his mind—of course. However, Shinra wasn't stupid at all, he considered it, he considered the risk of this idea, Izaya dislikes being out of control—it was the worst part of it, as he would say, he is mischievous and loves to piss every new face he sees, and all of those was Shizuo, Shizuo elicits Izaya's lack of control since his _beastly_ unpredictability is his very skin and his patience is a thin as an onion skin. There was a chance that putting them in the house would be the same as putting a wild dog and a wild cat in the same room. However there was still a tiny little chance, Shinra would love to believe in that tiny hope.

"What's up with him anyways?" Shizuo asked, "If he can understand you when you talk that means he isn't deaf."

"Hn." Shinra hummed, "He just won't talk."

Shizuo stopped and weighed the words his friend used, "Can't or won't?"

Sometimes his friend is surprisingly perceptive at the very unpredictable moments.

"Both." Shinra answered. "I can't tell you much, its something private about Izaya-kun."

The doctor fell in silence, he was glad Shizuo understood him to this extent. The blonde never pried into things, especially things that people told him to keep out of, unless it concerns him Shizuo never actually dwelled into it. It was his difference with Izaya, while Shizuo was like that, Izaya would never stop until he finds what he wants, until he gets it.

"Please understand Shizuo-kun…Izaya-kun is—"

"Shut it." Shizuo said before staring right at Shinra's eyes, "Just tell me one thing."

"W-What of it Shizuo-kun?" Shinra asked.

"He's your friend, right?"

Shinra nodded.

"Then that's enough. I don't need to know anything anymore."

Shinra's eyes widen, he chuckled to himself, he should have known, this was Shizuo they were talking about. As complicated as he seems, Shizuo is actually a simpleton. He gets angry with people who mocks and insults him, he has thin patience, and he smiles and laughs at simple jokes. For Shizuo a friend of a friend, is his friend—even if he doesn't want to.

Shizuo isn't a monster, if he is anything—he is the most human of them all.

Shinra stopped and pointed at a closed door smiling, "This is my office here."

Opening the door Shizuo sighed as he saw the mess that was in room. He wasn't a man who was meticulous about details however, the blonde know at least that this was surely something one would call a mess. The table on the corner was filled with papers and piles of books, he could also smell a faint smell of something like a bitter medicine. Shinra stepped into the room and opened the window to enable the sun to lit the already shady room. Shizuo followed the doctor looking at the different herbs scattered in a desk nearby, next to them seems to be a mortar and pestle. Shizuo's nose wrinkled as he found a fish on the corner with all sorts of needles punctured to it, sometimes his friend's curiosity scars the blonde.

Shizuo heard something being dragged across the room, turning towards where Shinra was, he found the doctor pulling a wooden stool to the almost unrecognizable table. The doctor then cleared the table by simply pushing all the papers off down to the floor. It almost look like a dump site or something, Shizuo felt his head throbbing at the site, a puppy could come lose around here and Shinra wouldn't know at all.

"Have a seat, Shizuo-kun." Shinra offered smiling.

Shizuo took the offer, the Orihara Estate is massive, honestly walking half about the East Wing is tiresome. The blonde watched as his friend started boiling some tea in the corner of the room where a boiler stood. Now that he could see the room under the light, he noticed one things…there were too many personal touches in the room, for one was a picture drawn of Celty without her cloak—something Shizuo had the privileged to see as Shinra's closest friend—then, there was a journal of some sort in the corner, his clinic in the town was more neat than this.

"So this is where you are most of the time?" Shizuo asked breaking the building silence.

"You could say that." Shinra replied, "I used to come here every so now and then, but since three years ago Orihara-san recommended that I become full time for Izaya-kun."

"Why does the kid need you so much like that anyway?"

"Izaya-kun's position is…complicated."

"Figure that much out, tell me something I don't know."

"He can't be left on his own." Shinra said as looked at the black pot in front of him quietly, "Of course I do not stay here nor did I agree in that arrangement—I mean I cannot leave my beloved Celty all on her own, she must be lonely without me!"

"I doubt it." Shizuo sighed.

"Anyhow, the fact is…Orihara-san founded me do my research and be generous enough to lend me a room as an office." Shinra said. "That was all to find out all possible cure for Izaya-kun's condition."

Shizuo watched as Shinra produced a journal like material amongst the books. The doctor went back to the blonde's seat and placed the item down in front of him. Shizuo flipped through the pages, numerous words were written some Shizuo couldn't even understand.

"I have listed down Izaya's medical history, it goes from the moment I came here from this day." Shinra explained, "You're the first person I allowed to see it."

"Why?"

"Because you're Shizuo-kun." Shinra answered simply as he went back to fetch the boiling tea.

As the doctor prepared the tea, Shizuo continued to read through the jargons of the journal, there was a report on Izaya's change in height, weight, fever, colds and so on—very likely of Shinra. However despite all those, one question blossomed in Shizuo's mind. Based on what he could understand from the papers, Izaya was fairly normal kid—and Shinra never do _normal_. Was this something Shinra refused to tell him? Shizuo looked up as Shinra placed a two cups on the table, the doctor poured some tea for himself and his friend before putting the pot away and sitting across his friend. After taking a drag of breath, Shinra decided to let Shizuo know of what he was here for. Usually upon hearing the name _Orihara_ that alone would ring a bell to anyone, but then again, this is Heiwajima Shizuo he's talking about.

"So tell me what did you first noticed about Izaya-kun?" Shinra asked before taking a sip in his cup of tea.

Shizuo was quiet for a moment trying to recall the earlier meeting.

"His eyes." Shizuo answered, "Its…strange blood red."

Shinra nodded in satisfaction of his friend's answer, "Years ago, you should have heard of them—The Orihara Clan was quite famous for having members of their family with blood red eyes, I don't know what could cause that, surely not quite like albinism seeing all those members carried dark colored hair."

"Albi—what?"

"Albinism." Shinra clarified, "It's a condition when people do not have enough color pigments in their bodies. It causes a lighter shade of hair and skin, and usually gives the red colored eyes."

"And that's not the case?"

"Yes." Shinra answered. "I went to do my research about Izaya-kun's family when I first came here. It intrigued me too, I mean his physical appearance. And when I went through his family history I realized that Izaya-kun really is one strange child.

The Orihara clan had been famed with the strange color of their eyes, red is considered lucky color for many traditions so many people wanted those eyes for themselves. But the members who had those eyes were only children, as an Orihara grows into adulthood the color of their eyes changes from red to darker shade…till it comes to black."

"Pitch black like Orihara Suichiro-san?"

Shinra nodded and thanked Gods for his friend's observation skills that saved him from having to explain further into details.

"Wait…you just made it sound that there were _lots_ of them."

"There _were_."

Shizuo frowned, "So what happened to the others?"

"Dead." Shizuo's eyes widen at Shinra's answer, he felt uncomfortable in his seat all of a sudden. "They were killed for their eyes, probably those people thought that every Orihara has that remarkable red eyes. The whole clan was almost wiped and Suichiro-san was fortunate enough to survive."

"If the blood red eyes disappear as they grow older then what the hell is with that kid?"

Shinra felt quiet for a moment before gazing down at his half empty cup, "That's what endangers him."

"Huh?" Shizuo asked confused, "Is that some kind of sickness?"

Shinra shook his head, "Imagine this Shizuo-kun, imagine that you have a whole _murder_ of crows. Then all of them are white when they are born until they grow into adulthood. Then one of them _does_ not turn into black despite aging, what would you feel like?"

"Amazed of course." Shizuo answered.

"Yes, some people are fascinated. However in this case, the fascination had come to an obsession. Some people would kill, would do _anything_ to get Izaya-kun."

"Who the hell would want human eyes?!"

"Believe it or not there are people like that Shizuo-kun." Shinra said quietly. "That's the truth about this world."

"Then why doesn't his eyes change into black or something?" Shizuo asked curiously.

"Like I said, I have no idea as well." Shinra answered. For a moment Shinra turned his eyes to Shizuo and pressed his lips into a thin line.

"What?"

"If I found out the answer to that I might understand your case as well Shizuo-kun." Shinra answered, "As much as you can't believe it, you are more like Izaya-kun."

…

Namie sighed in defeat, if there was any disadvantage of being a wealthy man's concubine, it would be putting up with all the _shit_ that comes along with that man—including his _evil_ children. The twins were more like some kind of walking disaster, the other was a bit too loud for her liking and the other was too quiet for anything—and they were so close to the personality of the eldest son. They were mischievous and too energetic. Meanwhile, the worst part was the eldest, the smart ass little prick was tad too beautiful for her liking, he was just annoying in so many levels she couldn't even put it on words. He was like some spoiled little young master, despite his inability to speak his smirk and smug expression never fail to make anyone fear whatever goes in that stupid head of his.

And Namie had become practically the eldest son's guardian, no, she does _not_ like that at all. Why? Well simply because she gets to see him half of the day and was obliged to know everything he does and whatever the hell he eats. Namie wanted to argue that he is not her kid, and she has zero to no interest if he ever decides to roll over and die, however Suichiro would beg to differ.

Sighing in defeat, Namie walked towards the gazebo where she spotted the dark haired son of the underworld. Upon spotting Namie the little devil raised his head smirked. Definitely not her day, she thought.

"Eat you little shit." Namie said scowling. Following her two female servants came with a tray of food for Izaya. They settled the food down the stone table.

" _Why, hello Namie-san_." Izaya signed, his friendly demeanor was obviously a mockery of his undeniable dislike to the incestuous woman. _"How is Seiji-san?"_

"Remind me not to tie your hands." Namie said with a frown, "Now stop getting on my nerves and eat."

" _But the temptation is too difficult to resist!"_

Namie wanted to slap herself, how can a mute rile her up like this? Sometimes she felt undeniably thankful by the fact he cannot hear his voice. The temptation to slit his throat in his slip would be more difficult to resist. "Can you just listen to me!"

"What's happening?"

The unfamiliar voice registered to Izaya's system making the raven flinch. His eyes quickly searched the garden with a mild mix off anxiety. He could hear a rustle in the grass and his eyes desperately looked for the source.

"What's happening?" The same voice asked, however this time as Namie stepped aside Izaya's eyes found a familiar figure causing the erratic beating of his heart to calm. It was the new attendant. Shizuo stepped closer with Shinra standing a few feet away waving his hand like the usual clown that he is.

"I-I was just—"

"I advise you not to do that again." Shizuo said to Namie. "My orders came from the head of the estate, I don't know a thing or two about nobility and pleasantries but I'm sure that's not how you treat the son of the house you're latching in."

Izaya visibly forgotten his earlier panic attack soundlessly giggled in the corner like a kid, before turning to Namie and signing, _"Did he just called you a free loader?"_

Namie scolwed at Izaya and turned away indignantly, "Well let's see how long he lasts."

Shizuo didn't reply to that, he remained still watching Namie as she gestured the female attendants to follow her. As soon as Namie walked pass Shinra huffing which made the doctor giggle as the man walked towards the two.

"One point goes to Shizuo-kun!" Shinra cheered. "Isn't he amazing Izaya-kun?"

The question caught the raven's attention causing him to stop from his fit of quiet giggles. Recovering from his earlier predicament Izaya frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. Shinra almost laughed at the sight, he was still convinced that he does not like Shizuo. However from the way he seems to be stealing glances at Shizuo, the doctor is sure that if Izaya felt anything towards the blonde it was curiosity. Turning away, Izaya walked up to the gazebo and sat watching his food again making him sigh.

"He eats alone here?" Shizuo asked curiously.

"Oh well…yeah." Shinra answered, "Well that's the problem…he doesn't like Namie's cooking."

"Ha?" Shizuo raised an eyebrow at Shinra before shifting his gaze towards Izaya who was staring at his food like it was the most hideous thing on the planet. "If that woman is treating him like that, then why is she still here looking after the kid?"

The remark piqued Izaya's attention and turned to the two onlookers, _"Stop calling me a kid."_ He signed to Shizuo before returning to stare at his food.

The two blinked at Izaya's sudden movement, "What did he say?" Shizuo asked feeling a bit irritated by the fact that he doesn't understand everything the raven haired heir was saying. It was worst that Celty's case. Celty has at least the generosity to at least write what she wants to say in a paper instead unlike this stupid prick trying to prove the intellectual gap between them.

"He said you should stop calling him a kid."Shizuo huffed and ignored the statement. "Namie-san is bound to this, neither can Izaya-kun or Namie-san could do anything about this. Namie-san cannot leave, if she does, the people who hates her will come after her head, meanwhile Izaya-kun cannot have a say because it's a basic protocol since Namie-san is currently their pseudo-mother."

And just like that Shinra sighed as Izaya pushed his food aside. He was sure Namie placed another whole fish there again which she knew always made the raven haired boy's stomach turn upside down. Not that Shinra could cook for Izaya anyways. Namie was always in control of the food that was sent to Izaya, it was her duty to make sure that the food that is delivered to the boy is safe. Well all of it were safe but poison wasn't what will surely kill the kid, but starvation.

"You sure this is okay?" Shizuo asked suddenly, almost whispering to Shinra.

"What is?"

"This." Shizuo said slacking his shoulders, "I mean he'll die like this, he's so scrawny and all."

Shinra supressed a chuckle, Shizuo's words rung in his ears— _I hate him_ —the words doesn't fit how he was acting. Shizuo always cared for people, even if they don't reciprocate. This is one of the reasons why he decided Shizuo's presence would somehow change something at least.

"Oi, what are you smiling at, I'm serious here." Shizuo said frowning. "You're his doctor aren't you supposed to do something?"

"I can't, I'm _just_ his doctor."

Shizuo sighed and run his hand on his hair, "That's a human not a pet, at least they should try treating him like one."

Shinra couldn't help but smile…

_._

_._

_._

_"MOTHER NO!"_

_SPLAT_

_His eyes widen at the sight, there were blood everywhere, the fire was hot against his skin and the scent of flesh burning was strong and putrid. He could hear the laughs of the men around them getting louder. His screams were getting drowned, his chest hurt, breathing hurts, his arms hurts, his eyes hurts. He just wanted this…_

_To be over._

Izaya's eyes snapped open at the sight of the dark ceiling above him. Without a thought or two, he pulled himself up feeling the cold sweat trickling down his forehead. It was the very same dream he gets almost every single night ever since that day. Izaya turned towards the open window of his room it was already in the middle of the night, the day passed rather quickly today. After Shinra brought him to meet that blonde guy named Heiwajima Shizuo, he was served with his lunch courtesy of course of Namie who didn't pass the opportunity to starve him again by bringing a whole fish in his dinner which she knows makes his stomach turn upside down.

Namie Yagiri came there three years ago, unknown to many people's knowledge, Namie's demise started by Izaya accidentally realizing the irregularity of a child of one of the famed city herbalists. The intelligent raven pointed this detail to his father who later revealed the secret of Namie's hobby of using humans sold as slave as experimental mice. The fear of getting caught forced Namie to negotiate with the Orihara who held the information. Orihara Suichiro being secretly a sadist himself, pleasured into the fact that the woman had practically no option than to do as he says to prevent the wrath of her father for disgracing the family and the people's anger towards her inhumane treatment. Soon Suichiro allowed to keep the information in exchange of Namie's service to the family, she will have to aid Shinra to his research to find a way for Izaya's condition to be cured. Namie's title as a concubine was merely a façade for people not to be suspicious of anything.

However the arrangement had more disadvantage for the herbalist, one was the fact that despite having to take the responsibility over the well-being of the heir as a pseudo-mother she will _never_ be recognized as a part of family—oh, _never_ , Izaya would never. Izaya never really got in good terms with the woman, aside from the fact that she is _older_ , she is an outsider, and had a huge fascination—no, _admiration_ to the point of incest towards her own brother to which she doesn't even care to hide. Izaya couldn't help but cringe at the thought.

Izaya shaking his head off the thought of that smug woman's face left his futon and went to take a haori, he might as well look for Shinra, the doctor's loud mouth and exaggerated stories of his lover Celty always bore the raven to the point of sleep. If he is lucky, he might still be around, also wanted to discuss that stupid blonde's stay anyways. Opening the door, Izaya poked his head looking at the empty hallway, humming contentedly, the raven haired young man proceeded to leave his room.

Despite the fact that Izaya had become better with interacting with people, Izaya still didn't feel comfortable in the presence of tad bit too many people, sometimes loud noises freaks him out and lights at night gives him nervous breakdowns and this was the reason for the empty East Wing. Even the cries of his twin siblings scare him and would give him panic attack, he didn't want them to see him like that, he didn't want to make them feel as if they were the reason to his demise.

It wasn't their fault.

Izaya's foot was quiet against the floorboards barely making noise. The raven nonchalantly walked towards the flight of stairs that would lead him to where Shinra's clinic is. Rubbing his hands together Izaya started thinking of the things earlier.

He wondered if Shinra deliberately didn't told him about Shizuo, did he plan this all along, because for the past few years he knew the doctor, he had the loudest mouth in the whole world and he would have slipped a word or two about Shizuo, but he didn't. Was Shizuo one of those people, those he read in books, those people who came from the other side? Because he was sure that people don't normally have the color of Shizuo's hair.

_Creak_

Izaya stopped midway from taking a step before turning towards the empty hallways again. Could it be Shinra? But…what would he be doing walking around the hallways in the middle of the night? Izaya could feel panic slowly rising in his system, he could only pray this really is Shinra. Izaya went back down to the hallways quietly when suddenly—

Izaya's eyes blurred for a second as he felt a strong and calloused hands grabbed him.

.

.

.

_"NO!"_

_A loud laugh resounded, the little boy's attempt was futile against a grown man's grasp. Tears started welling up his eyes, what did he do to deserve this? What was his sin._

_"LET ME GO!"_

_His screams fell in deaf ears as the fire around him intensified. Cold and bloodied hands pinned him down on the floor, and all he understood was fear. His ears were ringing, and his body was rejecting everything, his chest hurts, and he could feel his wrist caving from his captor's weight._

.

.

.

Izaya's senses snap as he heard the soft sound of the door closing, blinking Izaya found himself standing behind a tall figure. Slowly the hands slipped away from his wrist making the raven feel his heart thumped loudly in his chest. Someone…someone had come again. In fear the raven haired young man reached for the inside of his clothes where he kept a small knife that he got from Shinra's clinic. Without hesitation Izaya raised the knife above his head and plunged the blade to the man's back. The man gasp and tried to reach where the raven had stabbed him, but before the man could have beat him to it, Izaya pulled the knife and walked backed away holding the knife close to himself.

The man groaned, however for some reason he kept his voice quietly. Izaya backed away trembling even more, what should he do, he was trap in a room with an unknown man. Panic wouldn't do good, he reminded himself, he needed to calm himself, _now_. Izaya scanned the room, there must be something that could help him find help. He need to find something _fast_ before the man—Huh? Izaya's eyes darted again to the man who was on his knees.

The raven's eyes widen again as his senses slowly wallowed. The man…has…corn blonde hair.

Izaya almost jumped out of his skin as he heard something close by, he felt his chest tightened as he heard something being trashed and thrown from the other end of the hallway where his room was.

"Don't…make…a sound." The man across Izaya whispered. Raising his head, Izaya confirmed his guess, it was indeed Shizuo, in heap of panic and fear, the raven haired young man nodded.

 _"Where is Shinra?"_ Izaya signed to the blonde.

They stare at each other for a God knows how long until it struck that the raven haired young man remember something important—Shizuo does not understand him yet. Izaya wanted to bang his head to the nearest wall in irritation. Damn, there must be some other way! How can he talk to this guy? And more importantly what was he doing there? Why was he in the East Wing? Could he be an accomplice? What should he do? Why isn't his father here, what are the other people doing?

_CRASH!_

Izaya gasped as he saw the door being smashed into bits, he saw the glint of the blade from the ripped part of the door right behind the blonde. Izaya felt his legs wobble as painful memories came alive right at there. Suddenly the air became too thin, Izaya gasped for air and his chest felt like it was being crushed under an invisible weight, he needed to calm down or else he would pass out—that was what Shinra told him—but, how? How can he possibly calm down when a man is standing across him with a blade in his hand and a manic smirk in that ugly face?

"Ah. Found you."

No, no, no, Izaya's mind went on overdrive as he saw the man's murderous eyes. With a swift motion the man grabbed the figure sitting on the floor with his back against him. And threw him across the room, to Izaya's surprise the action made a loud crash against the wooden wall, he could see the crack made in the wall. No human would be able to endure survive that kind of attack without some kind of severe damage. Izaya felt even more bare, his attendant, his last remaining line of defense was crushed so easily.

The man walked towards the brunette in an agonizing slow motion, and every step made Izaya's breath hitch. Was he…finally going to die?

And then Izaya gasped with eyes as huge as a deer caught in the bright light—

_SPLAT!_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The loud scream sent Izaya's emotions in a total disarray as he watch the man's arm fell on the floor along with his sword screaming in pain. Izaya raised his shaking hand over his lips, the blood splashed into his white yukata. The screaming continued as blood drips and pooled under their feet. Izaya didn't know what to feel, disgust, relief, fear or panic. His head throbbed and he felt suddenly a bit too dizzy for his own liking.

To cut someone with such built, he was sure that it would take more than a knowledge in handling a sword-it needed strength, and with the man's size it was almost unbelievable to cut a limb so quick like that. Izaya couldn't believe it, standing behind the man catching his breath with blood dripping from his head down his chin—Heiwajima Shizuo. With his eyes glinting in anger the blonde grabbed the back of the man's clothes and raised him to face the blonde like he weighed practically next to air.

"Who sent you?" Shizuo's voice reverberated with anger and pure irritation, "You dare fucking try that stunt me?"

The man's eyes widen as his gaze fell at Shizuo's amber colored ones—

"H-HEI…HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO!?"

.

.

.

.

"We took care of it now." Namie said she turned towards the end of the hallway.

"Took care? What did you do to him?" Shizuo asked.

The two were standing now behind the closed door of Shinra's clinic where Shizuo had instructed Izaya to stay until he had deemed it safe. After the guy recognized Shizuo, he practically fainted, obviously injured and unable to do anything anymore, Shizuo tied him to a post in the first floor. After patrolling twice Shizuo found no trace of any other presence. After making sure of that, he hurried back to the main mansion to call for some help. Namie came with a few men that Shizuo does not recognize and he brought them to the East Wing to show the captive. After Namie taking the situation in hand, Shizuo went to Shinra's clinic and decided to wait for Namie's return where they were both standing by now.

"He'll be taken for interrogation." Namie said nonchalantly before gazing down on the floor that was filled with blood stain, she sighed and murmured how annoying this would be to clean in the morning.

"Just that?"

Namie nodded, but obviously that wasn't just that. But Shizuo didn't need to know. Before Shizuo could ask something again he was interrupted by a loud noise against the floorboards. The two found the familiar doctor rushing towards them with hair everywhere and his eyeglasses crooked. The doctor didn't waste any moment, as his eyes fell on the blood stains, he quickly ran to Shizuo.

"Izaya? Where is he?"

"He's alright." Shizuo answered before gesturing towards the clinic.

Shinra quickly felt a wave of relief brushed his senses. Putting a hand in his racing heart the doctor thanked all the gods in heaven that was watching his friend. This isn't the first time, and he was so glad that this time that he was not around, Shizuo is. It was really a good decision to have him rooming next to Izaya's. "How many where there?" Shinra asked.

"Just one." Shizuo answered, "Where's the head of the house anyways?"

"Out." Namie answered, "He was called out today to the capital."

Shizuo frowned, "They took advantage of that then."

Namie nodded, "Sure they would."

"It must have surprised them then." Shinra said, "We didn't inform anyone that you're the new attendant, or that did we get Izaya a new attendant."

Shizuo sighed, well that was too much for his first night in this house. To think he would have to actually be in action the very first night, he felt like he wouldn't be sleeping soundly for a few nights. Shinra knocked on the closed door and called Izaya's name. In a few seconds the door slid opened with a bloodied Izaya. Shizuo frowned, he over did again. He didn't mean to injure the man that much. He was just a bit…angry.

Stepping in the room, Shinra lit the _bonbori_ lamps in the room finally filling thee room with enough light. Namie clicked her tongue and placed a hand over her nose at the putrid smell of decaying plants, ink and old paper, meanwhile Izaya went to sit in a stool quietly watching the three people come in. As soon as Shinra was satisfied with the lit room he went over and stood in front of Izaya. His clothes were blood strained, and his skin had grown pale. His hands were still slightly trembling.

"So…how's he?" Namie asked.

Shinra knelt in front of Izaya and took his wrist, "He's heartbeat is still a bit fast. He might still be in shock."

"I'll get some tea to calm his nerves then." Namie said quietly.

"That would be great." Shinra said as he proceeded to check Izaya's pupils as Namie left the room quietly. He was indeed still in the state of shock.

"Sorry." Shizuo murmured in the corner cutting Shinra's trail of thoughts. Shinra raised his head and turned towards the blonde with a questioning look. "I…overdid it again."

Shinra was quiet for a moment before he realized what his friend meant by those words.

"It's my fault he looks like shit." Shizuo said sighing, "Might have scared the shit out of him."

Shinra went to check on Izaya. The blood in his clothes weren't his, but with the amount that stained his clothes meant whatever was wounded was so close to Izaya.

"You saved him." Shinra said simply. He knew this was inevitable. There was only one way in every situation to save Izaya, and it was always this. He had lost count of it, how many times the people his father hired had to kill every single one of his attacker in front of the brunette.

Shinra's trail of thoughts was cut when he saw Izaya's fingers twitching, Izaya then raised his hand and with a slow motion told Shinra something that had slipped pass his attention.

 _"I…didn't mean to…I-I thought he was…one of them,"_ Izaya signed, _"Stab. I-I…stabbed him."_

Shinra's eyes widen, "Are you sure?" he asked the brunette who nodded in confirmation.

Without another word Shinra rushed to Shizuo. He was naïve to think all of those bloods had come from Izaya's assailant. Shinra started checking Shizuo's condition, a gash in the head, a cut just right above his eyebrows, and there were small splinters in his neck. But where, where did Izaya stabbed him? With one swift movement Shinra pulled Shizuo and turned the blonde to his back, and this made the doctor almost gasped—if he didn't knew better he'd be panicking now.

"Why didn't tell me Izaya stabbed you?" Shinra said as he pulled Shizuo to sit in an empty stool.

"Not a big deal." Shizuo replied honestly. It barely hurt anymore.

 _"NOT A BIG DEAL?! Shinra is this guy out of his mind, he's more out of it than I am!"_ Izaya signed to Shinra who sighed in defeat before running towards his desk to fetch his equipment. Izaya was sure he stabbed him pretty hard and the knife isnt a simple kitchen knife, it was a knife that was designed to cut smoothly against flesh and muscles, how can he simply say it is not a big deal? He placed a roll off clean bandages, an unlabelled bottle of antiseptics and a needle and thread.

"Let me see that." Shinra said to Shizuo.

"I told you, stop fussing over it." Shizuo said.

"No, it could get infected!" Shinra exclaimed. With a sigh Shizuo finally complied slipping an arm from the sleeve of his yukata and then followed by the other.

Izaya gasped as he saw the extent of the wound, he turned away from the sight. A dismembered arm was enough, he didn't need to see any more than that. Shinra started working on Shizuo's wound, and as expected with Izaya, he did quite a damage, if it was a normal person, a stab like this wouldn't let you walk at all, the pain would have been unbearable, however this is Heiwajima Shizuo. Shizuo didn't even flinch as Shinra stared stitching up the wound, normally people would cry their lungs out especially without any form of anaesthetics. The bleeding had stopped as well and the clotting was already settled, Shizuo's healing capabilities does exceed human measures. After finally getting the wound to close, Shinra cleaned the area—

"I've brought the…tea." Namie's eyes widen at the sight of the half-naked man, however the reaction only remained for a second before the woman went back to her passive expression.

"Its alright we're done here." Shinra said nonchalantly before he started bandaging Shizuo's wound. "This wouldn't take long to heal knowing you."

"It's a waste of medical supplies," Shizuo said, "it heals itself anyways."

Shinra didn't argue anymore, and quickly finished the bandage. "We're done here!" Shinra announced.

Namie placed the tray of tea to the table. She then poured Izaya a cup of tea, Shizuo raised an eyebrow at the scent. The fragrance isnt as strong like a green tea or an oolong, it somehow smelled like…a flower. Namie quietly handed the cup to Izaya who took it without his usual erratic hand movements. The brunette sniffed the scent for a moment, his shoulders visibly relaxed.

"Have some." Namie said and poured Shizuo a cup of the same tea, "Don't worry, there isn't a poison in there."

Shizuo hesitantly took the cup and watched Izaya quietly taking a sip from his own cup.

"Izaya would know if there is a poison in the drink." Shinra said reassuring Shizuo.

Shizuo nodded and took a sip of the tea, it was indeed calming, the warmth of tea and the scent lulled his senses. His adrenaline was suddenly wallowed like the quiet waves drowning the bonfire. "Its chamomile." The blonde said shocking the doctor and the herbalist.

"I'm surprise you know." Namie said in pure amusement, "We have imported them from overseas."

"Kasuka brought some for me before." Shizuo said.

"Ah, of course, Kasuka-kun." Shinra remembered the last time he saw Shizuo's younger brother, the kid had the blank passive expression that would rival that of a statue, however the kid did indeed have Shizuo's handsome face—minus the blonde hair. The kid had taken up as a stage performer, no wonder he gets such gifts.

"Anyhow, is this all?" Shinra asked. "Are you sure, you're okay now Izaya-kun?"

Izaya nodded. Shinra stretched and yawned, "I need to go now, Celty's waiting outside."

"I would want to escort you out since its already this late, however I can't leave—"

"We'll be fine." Shizuo cut Namie's sentence flexing his back a little making Shinra exclaimed how he might open his stitches and bleed out. "You escort Shinra out, who knows someone might still be looking out. I'll get Izaya back to his room."

The room was quiet for a moment before Shinra started making strangled noises in hope to hide his stupid laugh, Namie meanwhile only smirked. Shizuo furrowed his eyebrows and turned towards Izaya in question, however what he saw didn't help his confusion, if not only furthered his question, the raven haired boy was staring at him with wide eyes and slightly flushed cheeks.

"What?" Shizuo asked in irritation at the doctor and herbalist's reaction.

 _"INSOLENT!"_ Izaya signed to the blonde who obviously didn't understand that at all, however that was placed in last on the matter that is essential, a simple commoner, lest, his father's employee, a mere mercenary, had just called him ever so casually with his _given_ name, _how dare he!_ Izaya's cheeks flushed at Shinra's reaction, he knows he hates it when people other than his family and Namie calls his name, after all his name was a strange one and the female strokes of his name was very abundant.

"Tsk," Shizuo clicked his tongue glaring at the doctor who stopped drowning himself from his suppressed laughs, "Cut this crap, its fucking late are you sure you should be letting the _princess_ at such late hour?"

 _"YOU DARE HE EVEN CALL ME PRINCESS!"_ Izaya signed again.

Shinra laughed at the two, he doesn't know if Izaya is unconsciously giving in to Shizuo's taunts causing him to retaliate and reply to that awful excuse of a joke despite the fact that he knows Shizuo does not understand him? The doctor's laugh however died as he noticed something. Shizuo turned his eyes towards Izaya as grinned, as if…he understood him.

"Kishitani-sensei, let's go."

.

.

.

"Here." Shizuo shoved the neatly folded yukata to Izaya. "Change in them and sleep."

Izaya stared at the clothes for a moment without moving from his spot. The blonde sighed, how can he even explain himself to this mute? Was there any other way to communicate? Why wasn't he going in his room to change?

"Oi, did you hear me?" Shizuo asked this time louder, "I said, go to your room and change, then sleep."

Shizuo's patience was thinning at the lack of response until he noticed the raven haired chewing on his lower lip, his bangs were almost falling over his crimson eyes. The blonde found himself staring at the reaction. The bloodshot irises spoke words that his lips couldn't spill.

"I'll stay here until you've fallen asleep, is that enough?"

Shizuo didn't like red, as someone who had been associated with violence ever since his childhood, red symbolizes everything he didn't want to see, blood, war, hate, anger and pain. Red was the color that dyed the battlefield. Red was the cries of the people at the mercy of death, red was the color that kissed his blade. But…when those two identical red orbs lifted and stared right at his eyes, he couldn't stop but murmur to himself—red was the color of twilight, red was the color of passion, red…has it always been this beautiful?

The two red orbs was now staring at him, and despite the lack of words Shizuo could hear it whispering to him— _you're not lying are you?_

"I-I'm not lying so just go to fucking sleep."

Izaya nodded his expression turning back to neutral, before he turned towards his room and stepped in. Shizuo stared as the door closes behind Izaya. As the silence called to him, Shizuo's thoughts run again, his eyes fell to his hand in his side, he could still feel the slight adrenaline rushing in his veins. He was not sure if Shinra was really correct letting him handle something like this, he remember Izaya's expression it was the same expression the people would wear when seeing him and his strength. He wanted to apologize for it, but somehow he know it would be futile attempt to make up for it—his whole existence. If ever he hurts Izaya in this process, it would be unbearable, Shinra wouldn't be able to forgive him.

Izaya is an important person to Shinra and if he hurt him due to his strength—what will he do?

Shizuo's thoughts was cut when he heard the door of Izaya's room sliding open again. To Shizuo's utter surprise he found Izaya again, but this time wearing a clean yukata free from the bloodstains from the earlier encounter. The blonde blink in confusion, was there something he needs?

"Need something?" Shizuo asked. The raven haired boy nodded and walked towards him stopping at arm's length distance. He waited for the other to sign his command or at least gesture, however none of those happened. The raven stood there and slowly his confident gait melted and turned to a squirming figure with his head lowered far from the observing gazes of the amber eyes.

"Oi." Shizuo called making the other flinch. "Spit it out, toilet, food, what?"

To Shizuo's utter surprise the raven suddenly grabbed his hand and pried it open. The blonde didn't know what to say, it wasn't usual for someone of social status such as the raven to just touch people, especially someone who was born of an average family—however his confusion was replaced with amusment as he felt the other's slender index finger drawing a line in Shizuo's palm, and the line turned to be a stroke of a character, upon hitting the realization Shizuo paid attention to the strokes in his palm—

_A_

_RI_

_GA_

_TO_

Shizuo's eyes widen at the last stroke of character, the shock left him speechless. The brunette let go of his hand and dashed back to his room without sparing him another glance. Shizuo stared at the palm of his hand, the hand that held the sword that sliced an arm of a man a few moments ago, the same hand where he expressed his gratitude. The hand that could have killed Izaya in one strike is the same hand where he wrote his very first…word for him.

_"Thanks…"_

Maybe…just maybe…red isnt that bad after all.


	3. Scarlet Letter

It was an ordinary morning in the Orihara estate, it was usually quiet with obviously only the brunette residing in the side of the manor. Today as Shizuo was informed is Izaya's lecture day, he was taught geography and history every other day while during the first days of the week Namie facilitates Izaya's lectures with plants and music. Due to Izaya's cooped up personality, the lectures were usually done in the garden, this was said to allow the brunette to breathe fresh air instead of spending the rest of the day inside his room. There was merely the quiet shuffle off the grass, and the murmur of the branches of the cherry tree that stood not far from the gazebo where the three were gathered.

Shizuo was standing behind Izaya who was sitting and was busy reading through the texts of his lecture, an activity was left for him to do which composes of naming every single capital of every towns there was in prefecture. Meanwhile, Namie stood with a fan over her lips as she watches Izaya with hawk's eyes. This were one of the few moments when she can get the snarky little heir to stop moving his hands to make some kind off remark. Oh, how she loved lecture days.

To Izaya's curiosity he found it too quiet, observing the blonde's previous actions, he wasn't really the kind of person who would stay put and be quiet in a single corner, the brunette stopped writing and stole a glance to the man standing behind him. To his shock, Shizuo didn't even notice him looking at him, he was too busy reading through the book Shinra gave him and imitating the hand signs illustrated in them, his eyebrows were furrowed in concentration and his caramel eyes bore on the pages. Izaya couldn't help but found amusement at the sight of the mercenary trying to learn the art of sign languages.

_FLAP!_

Izaya gasped soundlessly as Namie suddenly smacked the tips of her fan on the table. Frowning, Izaya turned to the woman who raised the fan again and opened it to cover her smirking lips.

_"_ _Why don't you go to hell?"_ Izaya signed to the woman whose eyes widen and removed the fan gaping at the younger male's response. Izaya smirked as he earned the woman's obvious shock and went back to his book.

"Why am I keeping up with you anyway?" Namie muttered.

Izaya chuckled quietly and raised his head again,  _"Because you're dead meat if not because of me."_  the raven signed again making Namie narrow her eyes on him.

"You little de—"

Before Namie could finish her word, Shizuo sighed and gave her a warning look before closing the book and putting it back inside his kimono. "Would you mind your words? It is unbecoming of a woman to curse like that." Shizuo said with a stern look.

Izaya's eyes widen as Namie was left speechless, her cheeks dusted in pink with embarrassment. Unable to supress his utter amusement towards Shizuo's ability to shut that stupid mouth, the raven clapped his hands, however his joy was quickly cut when Shizuo glared at him and instead of talking, he raised his hands and made slow gestures.

_"_ _Stop it."_  Izaya blinked as Shizuo successfully made the right signals.  _"Go back…work."_

Izaya couldn't believe it. Shizuo was able to memorize that much already? It was incredible; he thought mercenaries were people who had feeble and weak minds, more muscles than brain. He didn't thought he could actually make it to this point. Izaya couldn't help but to think something is special about this man, more than the color of his hair. Shizuo's caramel eyes stared back at Izaya, no one had ever been brave enough like him. Shizuo was like some kind of unbending wind, it refuses to be bend, to submit to any kind of force, and he never showed fear towards Izaya and his peculiar eyes. Some people found it revolting to look at him in the eyes, some thought it was some kind of omen, but Shizuo looked at them like they were normal pair of eyes.

Shizuo blinked first cutting the eye contact, "Damn, I think I got it wrong." The blonde muttered and reached back into his kimono for the book and turned back to his book flipping through the pages again thinking he got it wrong due to the lack of reaction from the brunette. Unknown to him both the brunette and Namie were staring at him in awe.

Namie was about to say something when the silence was filled with the sounds of feet running. Shizuo tucked the book back and stood straight, the hurried footsteps didn't belong to adults, they might sound heavy but it was due to some kind of excitement and energy that there were, the footsteps were followed by a familiar pattern of walk. Shizuo knew who he might be seeing today with the way Izaya left his book as well and waited subtly to whoever is coming.

From the porch two identical girls appeared coming from the hallways from the other side of the estate. Their eyes were similar to Izaya but they were darker, almost losing its red color. The other of the two had a braided hair while the other had a short chopped hair, and the other was obviously more  _hyper_. The girl with chopped hair wore a long lavender colored kimono that reached down the floor with a yellow detailed obi that was tied in her front, while the other wore a pink kimono that was designed with  _sakura_  patterns trailing down the hems paired with a vibrant red hakama.

"Iza-nii!" The girl in the red hakama exclaimed as she practically bounced in her heels dragging the braided girl with her.

Behind them, Shizuo waited for the sight of the man. Izaya's father appeared soon, following the two girls. He was wearing a white kimono with blue water ripple patterns on them, a subtle smile grazing his lips. The man paused and watched the twins ran towards their older brother.

Izaya merely smiled at the two who practically launched themselves at the brunette. The two looked at Izaya almost at the same time with their identical faces.

"Kururi, Mairu, your manners please," Izaya's father's voice resounded as he walked calmly towards the group. "Be nice and introduce yourselves to Hewaijima-san."

Shizuo blinked at the two, he did heard Shinra mentioned Izaya had sisters, but he thought maybe older ones due to the childishness Izaya was exhibiting he thought it would be more plausible that Izaya was getting spoiled by older siblings, and the fact that they were twins didn't help him to digest the information either. The twins turned to Shizuo and stared at him like he was some kind stuffed animal, their eyes were practically sparkling.

"Good morning." Orihara Suichiro greeted with a smile.

Both Shizuo and Namie bowed to the man while Izaya merely stared. With a hand gesture, the heir greeted the man which the man replied with a small nod.

"Hewaijima-san, thank you I heard of your quick response to my son's attack last night."

Shizuo remained bowing as he replied, "It is my duty, those words are wasted on me."

Suichiro laughed, "Oh you sure are humble just like Kishitani-sensei describes you, I could never get use to such sincere humility."

"It is the truth." Shizuo said simply.

"Oh raise your head," Suichiro said which Shizuo complied, "I hope my son is not giving you a hard time?"

Shizuo glanced at Izaya at the corner of his eyes and found the crimson eyes staring at him with anticipation, perhaps waiting for him to complain about how he had been such a difficult to Shizuo. Obviously, if Shizuo admits Izaya's stubbornness and complain to the man, he would be giving Izaya exactly what he wants,  _and that is not going to happen._

With a fake smile Shizuo managed to pull he shook his head, "Oh, no, he might be a bit rough but it is no problem."

Shizuo saw the way Izaya gaped at him raising an eyebrow. It made him smirk internally.

"That's great!" the man replied, "I was very frightened that after the event last night you might want to leave."

Shizuo fought the urge to smirk, "This job is more forgiving than going out to a war."

"Oh, yes," Suichiro answered. The man looked down with the his children staring at Shizuo in awe which is something new. Usually, when he tries to hire a new attendant for the twin's brother the twins would call the attendant names, prank the poor soul and basically hate the person without a basis. It was almost peculiar to see them interested at someone. "These two are Izaya's sister, they're twins."

Shizuo nodded, twins, yes, that explains the similarities.

Suichiro placed a hand over the head of the girl with braided hair, "This is Mairu, she's younger of the twin," he then placed his other hand over the girl with shorter hair, "and this is Kururi, the eldest of the twin. You both say hi to Hewaijima-san."

The first to speak was the girl with braided hair, while the eldest of the twin practically hid behind the younger of the twins. "My name is Orihara Mairu! And Iza-nii is my brother! I like reading  _a lot_!" the older of the twin raised her head meeting with Shizuo's gaze and muttered something. It was so soft Shizuo only caught her saying a breathily,  _"Kururi."_

"O-Oh, uh, I'm Hewaijima Shizuo, I'm Izaya's new attendant. I used to be a mercenary." Shizuo said and the two kids stared at Shizuo.

Suichiro chuckled, "Well we're working on that, right?" the two nodded and went back to Izaya.

"Is uhm…is Kururi like Izaya?" Shizuo couldn't help but ask. He watched as the younger of the two spread her arms asking Izaya to put her in his lap which the brunette did with a small smile. The older of the two merely stayed beside Izaya clutching in the fabric of his kimono.

"Oh, no." Suichiro replied, "She's just shy, but she can speak alright."

Shizuo couldn't help but look at Kururi, she looked more tamed than her younger sister who was practically bouncing with energy. The blonde's stare didn't seem to go unnoticed as the older of the twins turned to him and stared at him for a moment, before letting go of Izaya's kimono and walking towards Shizuo in her own volition. The sight made everyone except Shizuo and the little girl stop with shock.

Suichiro had never seen his daughter let go of Izaya's kimono and more walk more than a feet away from her younger sibling. The little girl stopped just right beside Shizuo and raised her arms asking for the blonde to lift her up.

"K-Kururi-cha—" Namie called the girl's name in heap of panic, it was improper and  _unlady-like_  to ask a man, a grown, older man, who had no blood relation towards the girl to do such.

"Kururi, please don't be difficult to Heiwajima-san." Suichiro said unable to say anything else. There was no harm in it but he didn't want to make the attendant to feel obliged and he might not be well acquainted with children.

"No, its okay." Shizuo said as he picked up the child and practically sat her in his shoulders. The little girl who was usually stoic faced, smiled and giggled quietly. Shizuo smiled as well.

"I-I don't know what came over her I-I swear she's—" Namie tried to explain the child's sudden change in behaviour but she was cut with Suichiro shaking his head.

"It is alright. If Heiwajima-san says it is alright, then  _it_  is alright." Suichiro said as he turned and watched his daughter giggled. "It is very unlikely that the twins ever like someone, you must be good with children, yes? I heard from Kishitani-sensei that you have a younger brother, was he their age?"

Shizuo shook his head, the movement made another fits of laughs from the little girl perched on his shoulder, "No, but…I don't know, I just…"

" _Gin."_

Shizuo heard the breathy word from the little girl as she curiously curled some strands of Shizuo's hair in her little finger. Her eyes were sparkling with curiousity something that made the younger of the two jealous of the attention and suddenly jumped out of Izaya's lap and attached herself in Shizuo's side.

"Me too! Me too!"

Shizuo laughed, "Okay, okay." He said smiling before lowering himself a little and carrying the younger of the twin with his free hand and putting him in his other shoulder, both the two kids started laughing and giggling.

"Father, Shizu-chan's hair is strange!" Mairu squealed.

"Mairu, it is not appropriate to say that." Suichiro reminded the child.

"It's alright, it must be their curiosity, it can't be helped." Shizuo said as he smiled at the two.

Izaya stared at the two, it was really strange to see his sister getting comfortable around someone they've only met once. Usually they are hostile to everyone except him, even their father a difficulty controlling the twins. And the fact that he got Kururi smiling it was almost unbelievable, Kururi was more wary of the twins and she was always quiet, but now she was smiling, giggling like a real child.

"Don't be jealous." Namie whispered.

Turning, Izaya frowned as he saw the dark haired concubine and her smirk. It was irritating, it wasn't as if he is jealous, surely the twins may be friendly and playing nice with Shizuo but that doesn't mean they liked him more than their own brother,  _right?_  Unconsciously Izaya furrowed his eyes towards Shizuo.

"Okay, time out, your brother might turn permanently red if we keep making him jealous." Shizuo teased smirking. The twins chuckled.

"Okay!" Mairu cheered raising both her hands in the air.

_"_ _I'm not jealous you brute."_  Izaya signed knowing perfectly that Shizuo didn't understand well yet. Shizuo frowned as he set the twins down making the brunette smirk in triumph.

However a tugged in the sleeves of Shizuo's sleeves called his attention, Kururi made a small gesture to Shizuo to come forward. Shizuo complied, the little girl moved closer to Shizuo and whispered to the blonde. The man chuckled and pulled away after and ruffled the little girl's head, "You know what, we're going to be friends." He said making the little girl smile. Shizuo turned towards Izaya and smirked.

Izaya's felt the air in his throat was trapped as he found the mesmerizing caramel eyes glint with mischievousness. His cheeks burnt at the look the man gave him. He was not used to anyone looking at him like that, especially a commoner like Shizuo.

_"_ _What did Kururi say?"_  Izaya signed to the younger of the twins.

Mairu chuckled and giggled, before making a zipping gesture against her small lips that were stretched into a smile. Izaya frowned and turned to Shizuo, and now his sisters were conspiring against him, with a stranger they met just today.  _"Are they conspiring against me, they are conspiring against me!"_ Izaya signed to his father as he stood. His father could almost hear his son exclaiming angrily in his mind, sometimes Izaya acted like their late mother when she was younger. Izaya was always the twins' favourite, the twins had become unconsciously protective of their brother who had fallen in such state.

"They aren't Izaya." Suichiro assured his son but he was only given a huff making the twins and even Shizuo smile.

.

.

.

The usual empty rooms in the East Wing seemed a bit livelier today, Shizuo found that despite Izaya's sharp eyes and words, he was a good brother to his sisters. His red eyes soften they look at them with a gentle glint, it was almost hard to believe that the brunette who is sitting on the floor surrounded with papers filled with childish drawings were the same man he spoke with. His lips were grazed with a small smile as the twins tried to explain their works of art to their older sibling. The room seemed a bit brighter.

"Izaya sees you as a competition against his sisters' attention." Suichiro said quietly to Shizuo. The two stood in a corner of the room watching the room filled quietly. Shizuo turned to the man who had a small smile grazing his lips. "It has been a while since he had shown any other emotion aside from anger and hostility."

"He isnt that bad." Shizuo said truthfully.

Suichiro laughed, "Well aside from Kishitani-sensei, you're a first."

"He's difficult, but not  _that_  bad." Shizuo admitted. Izaya was rough, he was difficult to handle, he annoys and somehow manages to get on every single nerve on Shizuo's body, but on the other hand the fact that he had probably seen another human being aside from Shinra, his family and Namie could explain that. He probably didn't like to be treated like a fragile vase or commodity, and that Shizuo understood why he disagrees with Shizuo's stay.

"This is a good sign," the man said in a quiet voice, his eyes were staring at his eldest child, his expression filled with something kind and sad. "one day I wish he would be able to trust others as well, the walls of the estate wouldn't always be able to protect him."

"If the walls couldn't protect him, I will."

The words were quick, sudden, there was no hesitation that it shocked the head of the family. He tore his eyes away from his son and stared right at those caramel colored eyes. They were burning with a warm compassion and youthful determination, none of it rung any alarms in Suichiro's head. As an informant, he was trained to detect the slightest hint of lies, one wrong information could set thousands of wars all over Japan. Shizuo meant his words, with every single fibers of his being.

Suichiro wondered which part of this man is the one who had killed thousands, where is the man that the news called as the  _monster_  of Ikebukuro? He didn't see him, he saw a young man with a heart of gold and honors. There were thousand others that deserved that label, but not this man, not Hewaijima Shizuo.

"I didn't made the wrong choice." The man whispered to himself as he turned to look at his son again.

.

.

.

_"_ _Kyouko."_

_A beautiful woman turned to face Suichiro, her long dark locks was tied in a very intricate braid, her thick lashes framed her almond shaped eyes and a very youthful smile spread in her plump lips. "My dear," she greeted the man. Her eyes were dark brown, like the color of the earth and cocoa. She turned towards the boy who was sitting nearby curiously poking at the spider lilies in the corner. "Izaya, your father is here." She called in a sweet voice._

_The boy quickly snapped from his task and grinned from ear to ear, he stood and smiled to his father. The ten years old boy stood, he looked so much like his mother in many ways, the smile, the porcelain white skin and nose. However, his hair was the raven black of the Orihara clan, and despite his age which was closing to his teen, Izaya's eyes were still the blood crimson, a characteristic only known to be possessed by children from infancy to the age of five at the most. The crimson eyes were thought to be some kind of mark to the Orihara clan, almost every children born from the family were gifted by the rare eyes and they slowly becomes darker, and darker until they are pitch black by the time before they reach puberty._

_"_ _Father!" the little boy smiled widely at the man who gave the boy an appreciative ruffle in his head. Suichiro couldn't be more proud of his son, he was bright and beautiful, so much like his mother._

_"_ _Have you been good to your mother?"_

_"_ _Yes. Mother and I had finished a book today." The boy proudly said._

_"_ _That's good to hear, how about you go see the gifts I brought to you in the parlour, your Mother and I have a very important thing to discuss."_

_Izaya's eyes sparkled at the word 'gifts', he nodded and quickly took off. Kyoko merely chuckled watching her energetic son. The child's curiosity had proven her that she had given birth to a rather bright child, he is very promising._

_"_ _Kyoko." Suichiro called his wife who walked towards her spouse, "Should we move to the estate in Edo?"_

_The woman creased her eyebrows in obvious confusion, "Why would we need to do so?"_

_Suichiro shook his head cupping the small face in hands, "Izaya is…not normal and I—"_

_Kyoko pressed a finger in Suichiro's lips inevitably stopping the man's words, "Izaya is_ _special_ _. If we treat him like some kind of monster by running away from people we're no better than the people that slaughtered your family." With a reassuring smile she placed a hand over the man's chest, "There is nothing wrong with him, he is not some bad egg or monster, he is Izaya, he is my son, your son. He's a strong boy, believe in that."_

_._

_._

_CLAP!_

Shizuo broke out of his trance and turned to look at Suichiro who just clapped, the man was smiling widely which somehow made the blonde feel the hairs in his neck just raised, he was starting to believe that it's a trait of the Oriharas to have such menacingly  _innocent_  smile. Their smile is too sweet to simply trust it was  _innocent_.

"I got an idea!" the man said smiling at Shizuo. "I need you to do something for me Hewaijima-san."

Suichiro's smiled turned dark and Shizuo swore he felt himself sweating bullets. For the first time he understood why everyone flinched at the mention of the family's last name, Suichiro's eyes were so black he could feel it devouring him and something about his smile told the blonde he was about to see what hell is like.

"W-What would it be?"


	4. Carmine's Charm

It became obvious that he was different from the rest the moment his eyes opened, but as if it wasn't enough of a proof Mother Nature decided to be funnier and make him an odd ball among the small population of the peculiar ones. When he reached the age of six even his own parents found it alarming that his eyes seem not to show any signs of changing any time soon.

A legend once said that the red eyes of the Orihara family were a curse inflicted by the Gods who governed the heavens for the wrongdoings of their ancestors, this was to mark the offspring of the said sinful clan. Every children born in the family shall bear them and the vibrant color shall fade into darker color, into the shade of black as the shade of the feathers of the crow who cawed in the twilight. People naturally became wary of them, it was either that or they were obsessed to know to possess the secret of the Orihara—and both for Izaya was the  _real_  curse of the red eyes of the Orihara. And as if to intensify that curse a hundred times, he was born, a  _freak_  among freaks. Some called him an omen from the heavens, some saw him as commodity, some kind of rare species of animal to hunt for their collection.

Red was the color of their house that burnt before him, red was the color of the blood of his very own mother as her lifeless body was torn off from Izaya's. On a moonless night, while his father was away, their home was torched, his mother killed in futile attempt to protect him. She loved  _red_  but he didn't. She loved what he saw as a sign of his endless inability to fit into the society, his futile attempt to become one with the rest. She loved him that was why she was killed.

Everyone who dared to love the red of the Orihara only suffers one fate, it was all that Izaya knew.

* * *

Shizuo sighed as he read the written words in the small parchment in his hand. He had never thought that Orihara Suichiro had it in him as well. The blond was starting to think Shinra had been spending too much time with the man and had rubbed off him. In the paper were lists of books and some instructions, in any usual day Shizuo would have complied to whatever his employer would ask of him, however, this case was different. Pulling the reigns of the horse, the blond mercenary turned towards the one sitting in the horse who looked like he would rather be anywhere but here.

This said trip to the town was obviously a farce, it was again about Izaya. Now that Shizuo thought about it, somehow he wondered just how long did the other attendants last at all? It's been only two days yet, Suichiro had let him go alone outside the estate with his precious son. It was obvious how the man loved his son, he meant well but he just perhaps didn't know how to approach it. Not that the blonde could complain, sometimes parenting could be unpleasant, and it may not sit nicely with their children but it is their job to raise them right not to be liked. It was one of the things Shizuo admired with the head of the estate.

However, of course, Izaya would be a different story. It took them almost half an hour to get him to step out of his room without squirming and practically dashing like a cat being brought to take a bath. The shopping trip to the town could be obviously done by anyone in the house, Namie would do it if the head of the estate willed, however this was not just about that. Shizuo finally understood as they slowly approach the town, Izaya was practically hugging the horse, his slender hands was clutching the mane of the horse in attempt to reduce the nervousness.

When Shinra told him that Izaya had been cooped up in the estate, that was an understatement. From what seems like it, Izaya hasn't seen anyone aside from his family and Shinra from the past few years. His pale skin was starting to tinge with pink as it was kissed by the sun which he probably had not seen for God knows how long.

"You can't keep hugging that horse." Shizuo said to the brunette, who cracked an eye open to look at the blonde. "When we get to the bookstore, they won't have you inside with a horse."

Izaya made a squirming noise in the back of his throat as he bit his lower lip and shook his head. The spacious and lack of walls made him uncomfortable. The stares of the people passing by giving them second glances lingered. He didn't know why his father even bothered to ask him to go with Shizuo in the town when he perfectly knew it was never a good idea for him. Izaya could barely remember the last time he was outside the estate. His heart drummed loudly in his ears and the air felt hot and heavy around him.

The blonde noticed the heightening anxiousness from the brunette heir, but Suichiro made sense, if they did not do this, they would never find progress. Izaya would remain in the fake safety of their manor.

"My brother is an actor." Shizuo said suddenly, his eyes were on the road watching random people come and go. "I don't have much of an idea about those kinds of things, but he does, he's…kinda popular you know. I heard rich people watch them often so I thought maybe you know him."

Turning to his side, Shizuo wondered for a second if Izaya would even want to listen to him. To his surprise he was, and this time he was looking at him with both his eyes. With a single hand the brunette made a sign,  _"Does he have the same hair as you?"_

Shizuo blinked, the first sign he understood was  _same,_ slowly the other signs clicked the stored images and information in his brain, he recognized the sign for  _hair_  and  _you_.

"No." Shizuo answered. He figured with the three words that he was probably asking the common questions people ask him. "He's like our parents."

_"What is his name?"_

"Yuuhei." Shizuo answered, this time he understood the whole gesture, it was one of the basics and so he understood completely. "Well that's what people call him in stage, he's real name is Kasuka."

Izaya nodded. Unknown to the brunette, Shizuo was smiling inwardly at the other's unconscious relaxation due to the casual exchange of words. He didn't even realized that they have reached their first destination. Izaya was quick to feel uncomfortable with new surroundings but it doesn't mean that it was hard for the other to calm himself down.

"We're here." Shizuo said as he pulled the horse in the side of the store. Izaya's eyes widen. "Come on, now."

Izaya shook his head in retaliation, " _No! I-I can just wait here!"_

Shizuo snorted, he didn't understand most of what gestured but he knew what the brunette would have said, "Sure, well you can always wait here." He said, "But don't say I didn't tell you to come with me when someone randomly grabs you or—"

Shizuo stopped when he realized Izaya's eyes widen, his jaw started shivering and whole body was filled with small tremors. The blonde cursed his minimal talents on communicating with people and being sensitive. The blonde quickly held Izaya's wrist in attempt to calm him down, but to his surprise Izaya shoved his hand away swiftly sending his hand flying across and accidentally hitting Shizuo in the side of his face.

_Gasp_

The blonde blinked as he felt a sting in his cheek, reaching to his cheek he found a small cut there from the fingernails of the brunette. As Shizuo was about to ask if the brunette was alright he found the other quickly jumping down from the horse, panic was plastered in his face as he reach Shizuo's face. His red eyes widen as he inspected the injury.

"It doesn't hurt." Shizuo said. It was the truth, it does sting but it doesn't hurt as much as getting thrown off in the wall. Izaya barely moved his eyes were still on the injury, he looked sincerely regretful of inflicting the blonde the injury. "Oi, Izaya?"

The brunette blinked and his eyes finally focused,  _zoomed in_  into Shizuo's caramel eyes.

"I said its fine."

Izaya made a quiet gasp as he almost jumped out of skin upon realizing the close proximity that he himself initiated from the blonde. His cheeks quickly flushed red from utter embarrassment. The blonde laughed at the other's utter demise, well at least he got out of the horse which was the first goal. Without a warning, Shizuo grabbed Izaya's wrist and pulled him into the shop.

_"Iza-nii?"_

_Slap_

_Izaya gasped at the sight, Mauri's small plump cheeks were red from his own hand. He hurt his own sister. Even his own sister._

_Tears started forming in the corner of his eyes, he should have known, he should know, she is his sister, she wouldn't harm him, right? He should know that, he_ _ **knows**_   _that and yet…he cowers in a corner away from her, and started crying silently wanting to touch people again without feeling the creeping sensation in his skin._

The shop was fairly small and the shelves were made of wood. Izaya could smell the scent of papyrus and ink in the room, it reminded him of the contentment and the feeling of security surrounded with books. Izaya quickly scanned the shelves for titles and his eyes widen when he saw titles he had never read before, they were written in Western Language. His eyes practically sparkled in delight, who would have thought that a small shop would have something so precious such as this?

"Oh good afternoon!"

Izaya left the shelves and quickly ran behind Shizuo. The blonde sighed as he felt the bruntee almost pushing him as if he was some kind of shield. From the back of the store, a young man with dark hair emerged. "Hello." Shizuo greeted back.

"Did you find anything you like?" The boy asked.

"Not yet." Shizuo said as he peered behind him, where Izaya was crouching and clutching the back of Shizuo's kimono. Izaya's eyes were narrowed at the boy in mix of caution and fear.

"Oh feel free then." The boy said smiling. "We have quite an odd collection of books though. I hope you are interested."

Shizuo raised his hand, "It is alright."

"I am Ryuugamine Mikado." The boy introduced himself as he bowed his head politely, "I am the son of the owner of this book store, feel free to look around. You can call me when you are done."

"Thank you." Shizuo said smiling, "Heiwajima Shizuo."

The boy's eyes widen and he quickly approached Shizuo, to Shizuo's surprise he felt Izay pulling the back of his clothes in attempt to pull the other farther away from the man. Mikado stopped upon hearing a sound like a whimper from the brunette behind the blonde. Mikado stepped back raising both his hands, "I-I'm sorry!" the boy said before bowing his head in apology. "I didn't mean to frighten your acquaintance Heiwajima-san!"

"Hm, you know me,  _huh?_ " Shizuo muttered. It couldn't be helped his monstrous strength was never a secret in the small town of Ikebukuro. The boy however was very perceptive, which was good since Izaya is close to ripping the back of his kimono from pulling it constantly. Turning to look at Izaya he found the brunette looking like some wounded animal. Instinctively Shizuo placed a hand over Izaya's hand and petted it, to his surprise the gripping fingers loosen and the brunette leaned into his touch. "Its not your fault, he's not used to people."

"O-Oh…"

"Oi, where's your  _courtly_  manners, you should introduce yourself." Shizuo said, despite his harsh words, his hand didn't left Izaya's head.

"I-Its alright!" Mikado said waving his hands in front off him. The boy smiled and bowed his head politely, however this time Shizuo was amazed with the change of air from the boy, he looked like someone who worked in a big mansion or  _lived_  there. "Its nice meeting you, I am Ryuugamine Mikado. Forgive me for startling you."

Somehow the blonde mercenary could feel the wave of soothing feeling in his tone like he was speaking in the way he wants to show that he is no harm, and for some reason Izaya did understood this and he slowly detached himself from Shizuo albeit hesitantly. He did stay close to Shizuo but he was not cowering anymore, instead the heir quietly bowed his head in acknowledgement which made the blonde and the boy smile.

"Please do call me if you need anything else."

When Mikado disappeared again in the back of the store, Izaya sprung from with renewed energy and started browsing through the titles. Shizuo followed him trying to make out as much as he could from the titles of the leather bound books. Izaya's eyes shined in a way Shizuo had never seen the, it made the blonde smile, the brunette before him was stripped of his malice and all those mischievousness, replaced with the charm of innocence and enthusiasm. If only he would be like this every day.

The dark haired young man picked a book through the shelf, tracing his fingers on the leather of the cover, the brunette read the words silently in his mind.

_"The Little Mermaid."_

"Did you see anything you like?" Shizuo's voice filtered in his ears, Izaya didn't bother to look but rather busied himself in the book.

Unlike books he was used to read at home, Izaya knew that Western books were read differently. Izaya flipped the cover and his eyes traced the beautiful curves of the title. Shizuo watched from behind the brunette, the book's title were of odd characters that Shizuo had never been quite familiar of, however the light in Izaya's eyes made the blonde curious. "What's that one?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya turned,  _"Its called Little Mermaid."_

Shizuo blinked in confusion, he only understood the part where Izaya made a sign for little.

"What?"

The brunette sighed and without further ado took the blonde's wrist and had his palm facing him, the brunette made a series of characters— _Mermaid—_ he wrote.

"Mer…maid?"

Izaya nodded enthusiastically, he took the blonde's hand again and slowly moved them to make the right signal for the word before letting go and making the same gesture.

_"Little Mermaid."_

Shizuo paused for a moment before raising his hands, "Little…" he gestured, "Mermaid."

Izaya nodded,  _"Yes."_

The blonde chuckled and run a hand through his golden locks, he looked like a child who was praised by his teacher. Izaya felt envious of the way his eyes seemed so warm and true, as if it had never been touched by the blemish of the world which he highly doubt. For a moment, Izaya wondered, is this what makes him and Shizuo different? Because Shizuo decided to believe in that tiny hope while Izaya gave up on it?

"So what is it about?" Shizuo asked as he turned to the book again. "How did you even know? You read Western books now?"

Izaya shrugged,  _"Unlike you I prefer learning things and Shinra taught me a few."_

Shizuo didn't understand what exactly Izaya said to him but he recognized the Izaya mentioning Shinra's name, he figured the doctor had taught Izaya a few foreign language. It was not a secret to Shizuo that Shinra had a lover—or that is what he prefers to call her—a headless woman who had earned Shizuo's respect, despite the strange disposition of Celty Sturlston she is kind and was Shinra's voice of reason, basically she is a foreigner in more ways than one which is how the youngest doctor in the town learned foreign languages, it wouldn't be a surprise if he had taught Izaya some—or Izaya pressed him to teach him.

"Is that all?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya nodded contently.

"Alright, let's pay for that."

.

.

.

After the trip to the book store, Shizuo was able to persuade the brunette to simply just walk around instead of having him riding in the horse. The brunette probably was clouded with his anxiety that he didn't realize that riding in the horse is the one causing people to look at him. Only people with high status go around town in a horse and people probably turn to look at Izaya wondering from where he might have come from. The good thing about going first to the book store was the fact that the book perhaps calmed the brunette, he was less squirmy and stubborn, but it didn't mean that he was less anxious.

Shizuo sighed for the umpteenth time, Izaya was practically pressing himself in Shizuo's side while almost glaring daggers at anyone who looks at him. It occurred to Shizuo that this was Izaya's way of masking his anxiety with coming in contact with new things. It was the same way he welcomed Shizuo to the estate, with great deal of stubbornness and glares.

"Ah! Shizu-shizu!"

The blonde felt Izaya flinched in his side and slowly ran behind him. The blonde smiled and four incoming familiar faces, a young lady wearing a simple black yukata paired with a yellow obi, a young man with a fox like face wearing a white kimono and blue plaid hakama, another man in a man in a simple gray kimono matched with a dark olive haori, behind him was a taller male in a dark blue kimono, in his side was a wooden sword.

"Fancy seeing you here Shizuo." The tallest of the group said smiling.

Shizuo bowed his head in greetings, "Kadota, Karisawa-san, Walker-san and Togusa-san its been a while."

Erika and Yumasaki both laughed at the blonde's formality, they're age were clearly not that far from each other, however the mercenary could not be himself without it. "Haven't seen you around lately." The dark haired girl said smiling, she always had been a huge ball of enthusiasm. Shizuo had never seen her angry which was quite frightening.

"I…had been busy with work." Shizuo said truthfully as he felt Izaya tugged in the sleeves of his kimono obviously not comfortable with the new faces.

"Oh does it involve a really pretty brunette who's attached to your hip?" Erika said smiling and eyes practically sparkling.

Shizuo wanted to correct Erika, she was obviously implying something there but the blinde decided to shove the idea away, it was like second nature to the lady to fantasize people getting together no matter what gender they are as long as she seems to see that they  _fit_  or something of that sort.

"Yes." Shizuo answered. "I was asked to accompany him around town today."

"Wow he looks like some kind of doll." Yumasaki said as he placed a finger in his chin as if thinking, "Don't you think he fits the description of—"

Shizuo sighed as his eardrums was filled with series of Erika and Yumasaki's banter of what No character fits Izaya best, the blonde wouldn't complain in normal instances due to the fact that he had gotten used to this however, obviously Izaya wasn't if his constant tugging in Shizuo's sleeves isnt even enough of an evidence of his bubbling anxiety.

"Sorry bu—"

"Erika, Yumasaki, stop that you are making Shizuo's company uncomfortable." Kadota said sighing. The two stopped and chuckled apologetically.

"Thanks." Shizuo said and he turned to Izaya who was practically hugging the book they purchased wrapped in a paper. He would never get used to this version of Izaya, despite the fact that he hates the smartass mouth, the unwarranted comments, and the stubborn Izaya he would rather have that than seeing him in this state of pure vulnerability. It almost hurts to look at him.

"Is he alright?" Kadota asked pulling Shizuo out of his trance.

"U-Uh…I think so." Shizuo said as Izaya pressed his face in the broad of Shizuo's face, "Hey are you alright?"

 _"No."_  Shizuo felt Izaya's fingers languidly wrote the characters in the fabric against his back,  _"My…eyes."_

"What about it?" Shizuo asked trying to look at Izaya not even minding the strange looks he was receiving from the four.

 _"They…they will get scared."_  Izaya wrote again feeling he would rather melt right then and there. He was not even sure why his father would let him out like this, he knew people might get frightened of his strange case. The helplessness of the situation was starting to boil his very core. It felt like everything was suddenly unpredictable, he wanted the walls of his room, he needs the smell of his home, the safety and predictability of everything. His eyes started to sting, his fingers trembled, right now the only thing he knew about this world was Shizuo, and as difficult it was to admit, he was the only thing now he could rely to.

"No they wont." Shizuo said.

His voice was firm but calm making Izaya raised his head to look at the back of his head, his blonde hair shined in the shower of the light of the sun. His words were like a gentle brush of wind kissing the brunette's cheek, it was soothing and reassuring, it was never meant to resilient but comforting at the same time. For some reason Izaya believed his words, he didn't understand why, he never believed anyone before, not even his own father, Shinra never convinced him this much, he took a small step back away from Shizuo's comforting scent and revealed himself and slowly raising his head to reveal his bright crimson eyes.

Izaya braced himself for the screams of fear and disgust from the four, however none of that ever came.

"He's so…pretty."

Izaya blinked at the words and raised his head to find the brunette staring at him with awe. It was a kind of awe almost close to admiration, the man next to him was nodding continuously as if agreeing with what the girl just said. Izaya felt the anxiety slowly melts into nothingness. He couldn't see any trace of disgust or fear, not even confusion in their eyes.

"Those are some really amazing color of eyes." Kadota commented as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Is he from another country as well?"

Shizuo shook his head, "No, he's…a  _special_  case."

Izaya's eyes widen at Shizuo's chosen words— _special_ , it was so long since he had heard of anyone outside his family use that term to call him. Shinra called him a  _peculiar_  case, people called him strange, odd but never…that word.

_"Why am I different mother?"_

_"Different isn't how I would call someone like you."_

_"Then what would you?"_

_"Special."_

_"Special?"_

_"Yes. You are unlike others and it means that you are rare, not because something is rare it means that they are odd or different, but rather you would call it_ _special_ _, yes?"_

"Oh hello then, I'm Karisawa Erika!" the brunette girl chirped happily before practically bouncing in her heels towards Izaya. Despite Izaya's surprise he let the girl grabbed her hands and shook it. Her smile was wide almost blinding bright.

 _"Your eyes are really pretty!"_ Erika signed to izaya which caught the heir off-guard.

Hesitantly izaya replied,  _"How did you know I can't speak?"_

 _"You didn't make any sound since we came I figured it out myself."_ Erika signed smiling.

Izaya nodded. He turned to Shizuo who was talking idly with Kadota, the blonde has interesting set of friends. It was strange how Shizuo was able to calmly interact with them , with normal people as if he was normal himself. Izaya remembered how Shinra told him about the blonde prior to his arrival, the  _Fortissimo_ of Ikebukuro, that was what people called him, a temperamental mercenary with blonde hair with strength beyond imagination. At first it seems like a hyperbole, an exaggeration of facts which the doctor seemed to fancy a lot but a the way the man who attacked them practically shrilled out of fear from the name of the blonde convinced Izaya of what the blonde is capable of.

But he wasn't like Izaya, he saw this vast world as his home, not his enemy. Despite his obvious difference from the rest he smiled and interacted with them without a glint of fear for rejection. Heiwajima Shizuo is very existence that opposed Izaya's.

"We need to cut our meeting short." Kadota said before turning to Izaya and bowing his head a bit, "It was a pleasure meeting you."

Izaya blushed at the man's kindness and inevitably bowed his head in return.

"Hm, well that's a first." Shizuo muttered, "I think you got some hooks for stubborn pain in the asses Kadota."

Kadota chuckled, "He doesn't look like a pain in the ass."

"Wait till he start raising his hands, he talks a lot and its pretty annoying, trust me."

Izaya frowned and furrowed his eyebrows at the blonde, it was uncalled for. The brunette huffed and turned to face the other way. However his antics didn't struck the blonde as frightening but rather—

"Pfft—"

Izaya's eyes widen and turned to find the blonde snickering behind him.

 _"Are you laughing at me?!"_ Izaya signed to the blonde.

"You looked like a cat who got denied of a catnip." Shizuo said between his puffs of laughter. He turned to look at Izaya who puffed his cheeks in attempt to look threatening, he probably doesn't understand that it only works for puffer fishes, because he just looked like a kid trying to look cool and strong in front of a towering older male. Shizuo laughed louder this time making the rest of the group chuckle as well.

Kadota looked at the two, despite Shizuo informing him of his and the brunette's current situation it didn't look like the two were just like that. Izaya looked very dependent to Shizuo while the blonde despite being highly oblivious of it didn't seem to be displeased of Izaya's closeness to him. If there is anything to go by, Shizuo looked quite entertained himself by the brunette. It was the first time he saw Shizuo laughing so carefree during his job.

"They look comfortable with each other." Erika said smiling.

"Erika don't."

The brunette chuckled, "Hey I'm just stating—"

"Oh stop it we know where you're going at." Kadota sighed. However, looking at the two, Kadota cant help but see how different Shizuo was with Izaya, just like how red looks good in fire.

.

.

.

 _"You have strange friends."_ Izaya signed to Shizuo as they walk quietly through the streets.

Shizuo recognize the two last words, and hummed in acknowledgement. Well if they were normal to begin with they wouldn't have been friends, instead those four would have been like the many others running and screaming on top of their lungs the moment they recognize him. Kadota, Erika and Yumasaki were in the same school as Shizuo attended, Kadota had always been the group's voice of reason, he was the most  _normal_ among the three. Togusa came into the group later.

"Erika is strange she has some strange hobbies of fantasizing two people together." Shizuo said, it wasn't a secret anyhow, almost half of the Ikebukuro knows the girl's strange hobby and tries to avoid her most of the time to avoid getting tangled in some kind of rumor. Meanwhile Yumasaki is pretty much a subtle version of Erika. "Yumasaki's a bit better than Erika, a bit more…how do I call it, uh…decent?"

_"Erika knows to sign, how is that?"_

"She knows a lot of stuffs, sometimes too much for your own liking."

Izaya nodded, looking straight ahead at the random people passing by nonchalantly busy with their own businesses. Somehow meeting the four made Izaya's perception of the people in Ikebukuro a little better, he could look straight into the road without the fear of getting called names of someone shooting him a frightened glanced. Did years finally changed the people of this town? Is this what his father wanted him to see, was that the reason he sent him out today?

"It wasn't this good before." Shizuo started making Izaya looked up the blonde. His eyes were looking straight to street, calm and composed however the brunette could feel in his skin the bitterness underneath those words. "When I was a kid I didn't get lots of friends. Shinra was probably the only one who actually dared to talk to me. If there was anyone weird in this town, it has to be that doctor."

Izaya quietly laughed at that note, he had to agree with that. Shinra is unlike anyone, he was not interested in what most people would be, he loves a headless fairy, and was befriended a freak of nature as himself. Sometimes Izaya would think of the other as an idiot, who in their right mind after all would rather spend their time trying to get a mute kid with bright crimson eyes to communicate with him when he could have wasted his time making  _real_  friends.

"I didn't mean to hurt people but I always do, you know."

_"Are you scared…to hurt people?"_

"I guess my greatest fear was to hurt the people I love most."

Izaya blinked, Shizuo didn't see his question however, his words were the same as answering them. He sounded sad and it was strange to feel remorse over something such as great strength. Many people would have wanted what he has, but Shizuo is different.

 _"Why?"_  Izaya asked.

"Why, do you think its better to have  _this_?" Shizuo asked back. "If you think it's a blessing to have inhuman strength, I would tell you now its not. Most people would say I'm lucky, I could protect myself, great strength meant power. But you know it's not. Sometimes…even with great power there are still things you couldn't save. All I had with great strength was the people's fears in my fingertips, and violence in my core, I never wanted any of that."

Izaya pursed his lips looking at Shizuo, who would have thought the blonde loathed himself that much and yet none of it ever showed, he never closed himself in a four walled room, never shoved anyone away. Was their pain in different magnitude? His eyes remained warm with a glow of kindness. How was he able to loathe himself and love everything else?

"If you're feeling sorry for me, don't. If you feel that you've reacted wrong all these times… _don't_."

Izaya stopped as Shizuo did,  _"What do you mean?"_

The blonde looked straight at Izaya's eyes, "If you're thinking that you were wrong because you were afraid of people because all these years they saw you as different, as a monster or some sort, and because I was able to be here and meddle with them, I'm saying don't. Don't you for a second think whatever you did was wrong. None of the way you reacted was wrong."

_"But you…"_

"You and I are different people." Shizuo said, "The hurt I felt may be different from the hurt you felt. It was not wrong for you to feel afraid of them. Never for a second think that your pain is invalid just because someone else handled it in a diverse way than you did."

Izaya's eyes went wide as the saucers as Shizuo raised his hand and placed them on top of Izaya's head smiling. And for a second he saw the same smile his mother gave him before.

"You did okay."


	5. Ruby Beast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guyyys!!!! I'm so sorry for the late update but I have a very strong reason for this tardiness...well, you see uhm, I have to take an exam a few weeks ago...and I'M NOW A LISCENCED PSYCHOMETRICIAAAAN!!! Thank you for being patient with me guys, I know the feeling of waiting so long for an update--I'm also a huge nerd for fanfics so yeah, thank you to everyone who are reading this and those who are reccomending Lycoris on Tumblr, thank you soooo much.   
> To anyone who wishes to reach me personally you can go to my tumblr account lost-sheep.tumblr.com, however since my internet sucks I may be a bit late replying there. Anyways yep, thank you again. Idk how many times I've said that today but yep, love you guys and hope I'd see you all soon on the comment section. I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY

_"We're very sorry!"_

_Every time…every single time…_

_"Forgive him please!"_

_"Please, it was beyond his control!"_

_Every single time, he watched as his father and mother bowed to people, went down on their knees to ask for apologies. He had lost count of how many times they asked for other's apologies, how many times he had to watch them pursing their lips and cast their pride away. They were such kind hearted people that it pained Shizuo to watch them like that. They didn't deserve a freak for a son, they didn't deserve the way the people looked at them wondering what they could have done to suffer this fate, what kind of things they did to anger the Gods to this extent._

_He didn't want it._

_His strength was a curse. It never did any good to him, or to his mother, or his father._

_If only he was normal just like his younger brother, if only he could play with the other kids just like his brother, without injuring others, without hurting others. He feared his own touch, he feared that under his fingertips he'd feel the crack of their bones, he'd hear the scream of the people he love._

_He feared that despite his strength he would fail like how he failed to stop himself every time, he'd fail to protect them._

_He understood why people felt the way they do about him, he knew and somehow he had gotten used to it. He was a beast._

_And beasts were meant to be feared._

_._

_._

_._

Izaya sat quietly in the receiving area of the house. It was a typical Japanese home, there were very little of a decoration in the room, not that he would complain. It was quiet and had a peaceful touch to it. Shifting his eyes towards Shizuo the brunette found his company playing idly with a tabby cat, a placid expression was painting his face, however Izaya knew he was enjoying himself. Turning his eyes away from the blonde he looked in the room wondering where they might be, somehow Izaya didn't feel threatened inside the unknown territory.

The house was located pass the heart of the town, a fairly shabby home with a wooden gate. Unlike the shabby exterior of the home, it was actually quite comfortable inside, in which Shizuo had simply let himself in. Izaya realized that whoever lives there would be someone Shizuo knows, or is very close to, despite Shizuo's gruff personality he wasn't the kind of person who would simply barged into a stranger's home.

A quiet knock by the door cleaved the silence, the two turned towards the sliding door of the room as it slide open, and to Izaya's surprise a woman in Western clothes greeted them she was wearing a black dress that had a rectangular collar showing her olive white complexion and her very astounding collarbones, the sleeves hugged closely to her slender arms down to her wrist. The dress reached down the floor covering everything else, and despite being inside the room she was wearing a black cloak that hid her features. Somehow, Izaya felt as if he had known this woman before.

The woman greeted the two guests with a quiet bow.

"Celty, this is Izaya." Shizuo said casually making Izaya's eyes widen at the blonde's declaration. Izaya turned Shizuo gaping.

Izaya turned towards the woman again, he had heard of Celty from Shinra before, Izaya could not believe he is looking at him right now. He had tried to ask Shinra to draw her for him but it turned out that arts was one of his physician's weakness. Celty Sturlston, the woman—or more precisely the fairy—that owns Kishitani Shinra's heart, the headless fairy of Scandinavia.

The woman seemed to shift into what seems like a happy gesture, she clapped her hand together and nodded vehemently before bowing her head to greet the brunette heir.

 _"Can I see her without her cloak?"_ Izaya signed to Shizuo his curiosity poking his core.

Shizuo blinked, he figured Shinra had told Izaya about Celty, well Shinra wasn't subtle about it anyways, he flaunted his  _relationship_  with Celty despite many people calling him a lunatic. However, since Izaya had never left the manor this is probably the first time Izaya meets Celty. Shizuo stood and gestured to Izaya to do the same, the brunette followed in suite, his eyes brimming with the same excitement his eyes shined with when they were in the library.

"Celty, uhm you probably heard of him, right, I mean from Shinra." Shizuo asked and the woman answered with a nod. "Uh, yeah and Izaya, that's Celty you probably heard of her from Shinra."

Izaya nodded practically jumping in his heels as he nudged Shizuo's arm,  _"Ask her if I can see her without her cloak!"_

Shizuo mentally laughed at how Izaya looked like the youngest of the twins like this.

"Celty, Izaya asked if you could let him see  _you_."

Celty stiffened visibly taken aback by the request, but she soon went lax and she nodded. The headless woman pulled the hood down revealing her severed neck, there was no head just puffs of black shadows filling the place where her head should have been. Izaya's eyes widen in amusement, it was true, she was indeed headless and yet she could function and moves like a normal human being. Everything about her is so human-like except for her missing head.

"Satisfied?" Shizuo asked and Izaya barely nodded his eyes fixated on the woman.

The woman raised a hand over where her lips wound have been as if she was chuckling from Izaya's expression. She walked towards the two and produced a small notepad and a ballpoint pen, she started writing down on it before showing it to the two.

_"It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Celty!"_

Izaya's eyes widen, the Western headless fairy actually knew to communicate using the Japanese language. Before the brunette could inquire, the woman already had started writing again.

 _"Shinra told me about you."_ she showed Izaya the notepad.

"Where is he anyways?" Shizuo asked casually.

Celty wrote again,  _"I called him when I sensed you by the gate."_

Shizuo hummed quietly before turning to glance at Izaya who was fixated over the black smoke coming out from Celty's neck. He almost found him amusing, like curious cat inspecting the strange object before him.

 _"Should I call him?"_ Celty asked.

"Uh, yeah, please do." Shizuo answered, Celty nodded and politely bowed her head at Izaya before leaving.

 _"Did you see that?!"_ Izaya signed at Shizuo with big eyes full of excitement,  _"She doesn't have a head, and she's moving, she's amazing, just how, I don't understand but it's amazing! Fairies are real!"_

Shizuo chuckled before he carefully took Izaya's hands stopping him from signing, Shizuo could practically hear Izaya's excited imaginary voice in his head. The moment Shizuo took those small wrists in his hands he was suddenly struck by the memory of Izaya's reaction earlier, however instead of pulling away Izaya practically bounced in his feet instead he started nodding his head like an excited puppy.

"I know, I know, calm the fuck down." Shizuo said to Izaya who didn't calm down at all. Well basically no one had ever calmed down when they were told to calm down. Shizuo let go of those wrist and he started signing vehemently, Shizuo could barely catch them up, he was walking around signing with big gestures.

_"Just how?!"_

Shizuo blinked as Izaya stopped and asked him that, the blonde raised an eyebrow unsure of what exactly the brunette is asking him. Surprised with everything the brunette was showing him, the blonde was not able a laugh erupting his lips, he raised the back of his hand and covered his lips in vain attempt to stop the laughter from his lips.

 _"Why are you laughing, I was asking a question!"_ Izaya signed to the blonde who barely saw what he said and continued laughing. The brunette frowned and had no choice but to watch the idiot off the blonde laugh. Somehow his eyes was focused too much on the other, the way he closed his eyes shut as he laughed, the low baritone of his voice, the light that spread in his face.

Suddenly Izaya was struck again by guilt as he remembered the words the blonde said to him. Somehow he sounded like an old soul, he couldn't help but wonder what kind of scars lies behind those smiles. What did it took for him to shine like that, to be able to stood right now. Is this even the real Shizuo?

"AH! There you are!"

The two looked over where the familiar voice resounded, standing there in the doorway is their friend. The doctor looked like some kind of experiment exploded on him with the dust in his clothes and the skew glasses barely hanging by his nose. Izaya then realized, this is where he and Celty lives.

"Izaya-kun you're out for the first time!" Shinra exclaimed loudly as he walked towards them as he fixed his glasses.

 _"You have awful ways of greetings."_ Izaya signed with a quiet sigh.

"Oh, how was your first day out here? What do you think?"

Izaya pressed his lips in a thin line thinking how the strange new place felt like to him. It was strange, he didn't know what he really feel like, despite meeting Shizuo's friends he thought that he would think people were less frightening, however, somehow something in the back of his mind was telling him it was simply a façade. They were a part of minority and the may be just an exception. The conflicting feelings made Izaya's head spin, it was like drowning in thin air.

"I don't think it's the right time to evaluate the trip yet," Izaya was pulled back into reality as he felt Shizuo putting a hand over Izaya's shoulder. He looked up at the blonde quietly. "as far as I can tell there was no problem." The blonde said before dislodging his hand.

Shinra raised an eyebrow at the sight before him, "Uh-huh."

"What do you mean, uh-huh?" Shizuo asked at the doctor.

Shinra shrugged as walked towards the cushions and sat there. He waited as the two sat as well before he poured themselves tea. Izaya seemed strangely calm being outside, the doctor thought the heir would have put more fight into this idea, or he would barely pass an hour outside his comfort zone. Shinra had suggested this idea of exposing Izaya outside, to show him that there was nothing to fear, or at least to get him to exercise his social skills. However Orihara Suichiro had declined the idea many times, he was frightened of how the experience would open up the wounds of the past in his son's core, and Shinra understood that. The man merely wanted to protect his son, and no one would be able to tell what Izaya would do. The last thing they wanted was for the brunette to get hurt.

What changed the man's mind?

Shinra finished pouring the third cup with tea, he found himself smiling as a tea leaf stood straight in his cup. A good omen.

Looking up Shinra found Izaya signing relentlessly to Shizuo, while the blonde was sighing obviously not used to people talking—communicating—to him too much. Shinra wondered if these two had realized their extreme similarities with each other, the doctor thought the interaction between them would be beneficial, the two had a common ground yet they were so different from each other. Shizuo was brought up to the harsh reality of the world, wherein the norms of the society had relentlessly scarred him since childhood, while Izaya grew up away from it yet fearing that.

The doctor shifted his eyes on Shizuo who was pretending not to listen to Izaya while the brunette pulled the sleeves if his kimono to earn his attention, Shinra chuckled to himself as he lifted the tea cup to his lips. When he imagined Izaya's first day outside he actually feared for his friend, the last time he set foot outside was probably when he was barely five years of age and with little to no experience with people he thought it was bound to go south. But it didn't.

Did Izaya trust Shizuo? Or was it just because of who Shizuo is?

"Oh will you shut the fuck up!" Shizuo exclaimed as he brushed his hair.

Shinra raised an eyebrow at the two finding it comical, Izaya frowned at the blonde and signed,  _"Suite yourself gigantor!"_

"What?! I've been putting up with you, I can only fucking listen to  _this_ ," Shizuo gestured to them,  _"_ will you fucking shut up, yeah I get it okay?"

 _"No you're not!"_  Izaya signed before crossing his arms over his chest and turning away from the blonde.

Shizuo growled at the brunette making the doctor shift in his seat, the growl was always Shizuo warning before he strikes. It was like a snake's hiss before he strikes his prey, and those events always end but with the other party injured, the least Shinra wanted was Izaya to get injured in Shizuo's hands. And he was sure for some reason that Shizuo wouldn't want to injure Izaya either. As Shinra was about to stand and pacify the two, Shizuo abruptly stood and stared at Izaya growling, to Shinra's surprise Izaya just stared back at the blonde, he didn't move.

_"Bite me."_

Shinra's eyes widen as Izaya signed in mockery to the blonde, however instead of attacking the brunette, the blonde stepped back with a deep frown.

"Fuck you."

Shizuo snarled before stomping his way out the room.

Shinra blinked at what happened before his eyes, Izaya remained seated in the presence of a dangerous beast like Shizuo which in a matter of fact there was so many things the brunette should be scarred of about the blonde, things that normal humans couldn't do. Shinra watched as Shizuo slammed the door shut and left. He had never seen Shizuo handled his anger before the way he saw it today. Shizuo was called a beast for a reason he strikes before he thinks, but he saw humanity today in the eyes of the beast of Ikebukuro.

"What on earth were you thinking?" Shinra said as he flopped down back to his seat and looked at the brunette. "Izaya-kun, Shizuo-kun is playing nice with you."

 _"He just walked out on me!"_  Izaya signed with much irritation at Shinra,  _"I thought he was my attendant, he just left me like that?"_

"There is just much as he can take Izaya-kun and you're making this hard for him."

 _"Tough luck_."

Shinra sighed at the brunette. There was no helping Izaya, he thought, he was brought up like a sheltered prince inside that manor, he was either adored or loathed, there was no in-between. His father preserved him and loved him as he believed that he was the only memory of his deceased wife, Izaya is the legacy of her kindness and existence, while the servants were wary of him due to his physical difference from them. Izaya had probably gotten used to that kind of treatment, so when something, or someone was really in-between that, he was not sure how to act. He didn't know if he should retaliate or cower, would he snap or step away, would fight or fly?

"He's not used to people as much as you are not." Shinra said as he pushed the cup of tea to Izaya's side of the table. Izaya blinked at the tea and quietly took a sip from it, his shoulders quickly relaxed. Shinra watched as Izaya finally finally settled down, his hands on his lap rather than his arms crossed over his shoulder, it was a sign of hostile attempt of protecting himself, while his hands on his lap meant he was relaxed. When Izaya's eyes curiously looked at Shinra, the doctor continued speaking, "If you must know, he is as bad as you when it comes with dealing with others. He doesn't have much of experience with it."

_"But he works with people, he's a mercenary."_

"He is paid to kill people, do you understand that?" Shinra said quietly. He knew that if Shizuo had other options he would have taken it, if he had other ways he would have taken it. But no one would have taken him in knowing him. "He is not treated any better there, if anything people were frightened of him, they never talk to him unless it was necessary."

Izaya pursed his lips as he fiddled with the sleeves of his kimono.

_"Is this even true?"_

Izaya signed to Shinra who tilted his head in question. The brunette hesitantly continued,  _"Sometimes I question if what he is showing to me is true. Or is he merely…playing it?"_

"Well we don't really know." Shinra said quietly. "Don't you pride yourself with these skills, I mean telling me about how people are truly, you tell me, what you see in Shizuo."

Izaya went quiet for a while. When they were younger, Izaya had a little to no other past time, and somehow that built his curiosity over people. he found ways of dissecting their actions into coded message that told Izaya who they really were, the weight of their footsteps, their hand gestures, the callouses of their fingertips, their smiles and how often they do it, the tone of their voice and even the movement of their eyes. Shinra had always trusted his judgement with people, when he said they were dangerous the doctor agrees with him.

 _"I…I don't know."_  Izaya replied making Shinra raised an eyebrow, it was something new,  _"I don't know what the real him is. Sometimes it feels like genuine, but sometimes I feel like this is some kind of character he had created for people, to protect himself…from people…like us, like me. And sometimes it seems like he's so new, but in truth he had this old scarred soul, and I…he's been through these things. And he laughs, he likes kids, he smiles and welcomes people…I don't think I do really understand him."_

Shinra smiled at Izaya's words.

"No, I think you understood him more than anyone else could have." Shinra said quietly, "That is him Izaya, Shizuo is an  _enigma_."

.

.

.

Celty blinked as she noticed Shizuo standing alone in the garden, the headless woman watched the blonde from afar. He remember the first time the blonde saw him, he looked at her casually he was then a boy just like Shinra. Unlike many kids she met before it wasn't feared the painted his face but rather curiosity and amusement, then it shifted to confusion. To her surprise Shinra revealed to her that the boy had an odd problem with his physical features not to mention his abnormal strength.

Strength was valued in many cultures, Japan was no different, but for Shizuo it was different. The boy didn't understand why it had to be him, for what many saw as a gift for him was a curse. Sometimes Celty would want to comfort the child, it wasn't his fault, it wasn't his doings, he was merely subjected to his lack of control, and it wasn't his fault. Human life didn't came out with a guide or manual. Humans were born to this world out of their will, they were just shoved into this wide world without warning without understanding what they should do, what they shouldn't, why things are the way they are.

Shizuo was even more so that he was different from most children, he didn't understand why he had to have an abnormal strength, why he heals faster than others.

Shizuo had always been quite different, he is a  _beast_  or so they say and yet he had so much humanity than most people do.

Shizuo looked up upon feeling the familiar footsteps against the floorboards, looking up he found Celty standing there.

 _"You're alone here."_  she wrote on her pad.

"Yeah, needed some time alone."

_"Away from Izaya?"_

Shizuo sighed and run a hand through his gold locks, "Yeah."

_"Want to talk about it?"_

Shizuo shrugged, unsure of where to start. What exactly makes his blood sizzle? He pursed his lips thinking deeply. He didn't want to hurt anyone, no, not Izaya too, yet he couldn't stop the way his blood boils, when he press every single nerve.

"I don't know if I can do this." Shizuo sighed cradling his head in his hand.

Memories of red splattered everywhere painting the flashes in the back of Shizuo's mind. People run away from the sound of his voice, from the sound of his footsteps, they all had the right to do that. Shizuo could barely count the number of times blood had stained and painted his bare hands, how many lives his blade took, and he didn't blink, he didn't hesitate.

 _"What do you mean?"_  Celty asked the blonde.

Shizuo shook his head, "Izaya…he's…you know he has this way of getting in my nerves—I-I don't want to hurt him I—"

 _"Have you?"_  Celty asked quickly raising her notepad to Shizuo's eye level.

"Have I what?"

_"Have you hurt him?"_

"N-No, b-but…what if I—"

 _"What if?"_ Celty puffs smokes from her neck as if huffing, she then started scribbling again,  _"How many times had that made anything good to you?"_

Shizuo pressed his lips into a thin line unsure of what to say at all. He was lost, Celty had known him as much as Shinra did. If there was anyone who understood him best it was Celty, both of them were aliens in this world. The boy respected the knowledge Celty had about this world, things sometimes his youthful mind does not understand yet. He is his fourth wall.

 _"What do you think of him?"_ Celty wrote again.

"Of who?"

_"Of Izaya."_

"He's a stubborn ass, that's one way to put it and I may start agreeing with that woman in their house about him being some kind of evil incarnate. And he's as annoying as a flea!"

Celty watched as her friend fumed out in anger, while she watches him with curious eyes. He had never seen Shizuo acted the way he did, he looked like he was angry but in reality he isn't all that kind of angry. He had seen Shizuo, the beast that was Shizuo yet there was not a mark of that when he speaks about Izaya, there was irritation but there was no red hot rage. However, Shizuo probably didn't know the difference.

It's been so long since Shizuo had felt any other high except anger, he probably didn't know anything else besides rage. If Celty had a head she knew that she would be smiling, it was fresh and new thing for the blonde and it probably makes him very confused right now, it was why he was frightened that he might go out of control. It was only logical that he was afraid of himself however—

 _"And?"_  Celty wrote in her note pad.

"What do you mean and?"

_"I know there's an 'and' coming up with that."_

Shizuo hesitated; he cursed how much Celty could easily read into him. Sighing the blonde turned towards the garden a lone camellia seemed to have found its way there in the midst of the green lush.

"And he's smart, sometimes too much for his own good, and snarky. Sometimes he seems really frightened of certain things, but he's not a coward. He would cower behind my back but he would pull me with him…it was some kind of defense but at the same time somewhere in his skin he has this tendency, the urgent need to protect others as well—I don't know his story but I know he would never leave someone behind when he retreats." Shizuo pursed his lips for a moment before continuing, "And he never showed he was afraid of me, not even after the incident last night."

 _"I think you have your answer already."_  Celty replied.

Shizuo blinked at her comment as she placed a hand on blonde's shoulder before writing down on her notepad.

_"Izaya-kun is not afraid of you and there must be a reason, and probably that is because he knows you would not hurt him intentionally."_

"But I still would have to—"

Celty moved her neck as if shaking her non-existent head,  _"Everyone is bound to hurt others, and that doesn't mean it's your fault. Sometimes you hurt others even without meaning to, and that doesn't mean you're a bad person. That's just how life is, you can't live with a clean plate all throughout your life."_ Celty wrote again and raised her index finger and pointed to Shizuo's chest before showing the note to the blonde,  _"You are hurting him as much as you are mistrusting him with his ability to take care of himself around you."_

Shizuo was taken aback by the statement, he swore then that he would not see Izaya the way everyone else in their household did, like a precious china that was bound to break. He wanted to see Izaya as a ruby, rough and bloody yet it was stronger than it seems, tougher than what people held him for. No, this wasn't how he should be acting up around him, Izaya does not need another person treating him like he will break upon contact, he will never be able to learn the truth about the world if people keep treating him like that.

"You're right." Shizuo said as his shoulders fell, "I'm sorry."

.

.

.

Shizuo walked back into the parlour and found Izaya quietly waiting for the blonde's return, his nose was buried on the book they bought earlier, and a small box wrapped in a blue cloth was sitting on top of the table. The brunette didn't even raised his head to the door when he heard it slid open, despite lack of response Shizuo knew Izaya heard him coming in. Shinra was nowhere to be found in the room and he sighed, he had left his post yet again.

"We have to go before the sun comes down." Shizuo said. The brunette didn't raise his head or shifted his eyes off his book. The blonde sigh, whenever Izaya is with his books somehow he is bound to just forget everything around him. "Oi, Izaya did you hear me you—"

Izaya raised a hand and gestured to the blonde to move away.

"Damn it." Shizuo growled and walked towards the brunette snatching the book away, "Don't ignore me you little prick!"

Izaya frowned and tried to grab back the book but the blonde raised it above his head away from the brunette's reach. The brunette frowned deepen as he tried to jump to reach the book from the Shizuo to no avail.

_"Give it back you peasant!"_

"Whoa, do you really want it back or you'll just insult me?"

_"I demand you to give it back!"_

Shizuo raised and eyebrow and suppressed a laugh at how childish Orihara Izaya could be when it comes to his books, "No, and we're leaving, you can have it back at the estate."

 _"No!"_  Izaya signed like a stubborn five years old at his attendant,  _"Give it back now!"_

Shizuo sighed and hid the book inside his kimono making the brunette gasp soundlessly before he felt the blonde hauling him in his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. Izaya started squirming from the blonde's vice grip, trashing and kicking.

"We're going back now." Shizuo said as he took the box on the table and spun around. He could feel Izaya shaking his head in retaliation. "And shut up!"

Izaya shook his head again and pounded on Shizuo's back, however the blonde paid no attention to it and continued to leave the room. Shinra paused and raised an eyebrow at the two as they pass him by at the hallway with a tray of empty regent bottles. Izaya whimpered and started waving to Shinra for help.

"What?" Shinra asked faking innocence. Izaya signed to him but with much difficult with the angle of his body. Shinra faked a confused look, "Oh I don't understand Izaya-kun."

"Pay no mind, he in that mode again." Shizuo said as he adjusted Izaya in his shoulders.

"Oh, are you on your way home now?" Shinra asked shifting his eyes to Izaya for a while who shook his head and pounded on Shizuo's back. It would take more than his light punches to get Shizuo to put him down.

"Yeah." Shizuo answered verbally making Shinra hum in acknowledgement. "Thanks for the hospitality." The blonde raised the box to Shinra to see as well ensuring the doctor that he had gathered what they had went there for. The doctor nodded before giving the two a wave of dismissal.

_"Shinra I thought we're in this together! You traitor!"_

Shinra laughed as he saw Izaya signed to him while Shizuo dragged him out of the estate.

.

.

.

_"I can walk you know."_

Shizuo chuckled as Izaya lazily wrote the characters in Shizuo's back. The blonde peered at his back and found Izaya had stopped flailing.

"Alright, but don't ran off." Shizuo replied as he stopped in a corner.

The blonde slowly put the brunette down, who scowled at the other and dusted off his kimono. Shizuo chuckled at the sight, he looked smaller than ever. His kimono had almost slip off from his shoulder. The brunette direly need to eat a bit more, he thought quietly.

 _"I dare you to do that again and I will stab you in your sleep!"_ Izaya signed to the blonde before turning around and quietly huffing.

"Sure whatever get's your ass going." Shizuo muttered as he started walking.

Unfortunately Shinra's home is painstakingly away from the heart of the town. It was both inconvenient and convenient. It is convenient in the way it is far from most people's eyes, stuffs that happens inside Shinra's clinic aren't really something you'd like to talk over dinner, however, it was inconveniently far for people like Shizuo who doesn't have much need for secrecy.

Shizuo turned and watched as Izaya walked behind the blonde, his small lips pressed in a scowl, it was almost charming if he wasn't Orihara Izaya. He looked like a kid trying to look tough.

"You're slow." Shizuo commented making Izaya stomp his feet, the blonde smirk.

 _"I don't have a conveniently long legs like yours!"_  Izaya signed to Shizuo as he followed the blonde.

He wanted to stay a bit longer in Shinra's parlour at least to finish the rest of the story he was reading. He never liked getting interrupted, no, never when he is reading. To say that he was in a bad mood is an understatement.

The two continued the walk towards the small bridge, from there it would all it will be a little more before they reach town. The soft sound of the water under the bridge flowed as Shizuo raised his head towards the sky, orange was starting to paint blue, they need to get in the town before red starts painting the sky. It was peaceful, the blonde thought as the quiet wind blew pass them then—

Shizuo stopped.

 _"What now?"_  Izaya signed.

Shizuo didn't move, his eyes shifted from left to right. When Izaya was about to sign again, the blonde grabbed his hand and pulled him close to him. Shizuo's fingers slowly sneak down from Izaya's wrist to his palms.

_'DANGER'_

Izaya almost gasped as he felt the familiar characters being written with Shizuo's fingertips against his palm. He blinked nervously to the blonde who was quietly feeling the air around them.

 _"Do not move"_  Shizuo wrote again in his palm, making Izaya swallow thickly.

Izaya squeezed back the blonde's hand and wrote back on the blonde's hand,  _"Who?"_

Shizuo didn't answer and just pulled Izaya against his chest with one arm protectively wrapped around the brunette when he heard a rustling somewhere. It is not just one, probably there were three. Shizuo closed his eyes briefly using his keen sense of smell and hearing the mercenary counted the footsteps and the weight of them, there is a medium sized man among them, and the other were lankly men. Shizuo blinked as he heard something else, there was another weight it was not heavy but something…a weapon.

When Shizuo opened his eyes he quickly turned to where the strangers were, from the other end of the bridge three men left their hiding posts, and just like Shizuo thought one of them were of medium size, the two other were lanky men. The blonde clicked his tongue, this was not something unusual. Many robbers and criminals often stay in this part of town waiting for nonchalant passers-by and people who usually uses the route were either people who had important documents in hand or the rich people who often see the strange but great doctor just a few walks away from then, it was the best place to find a target.

"Judging from the clothes that your company is wearing…we assume he's some rich bastard's son." The biggest of the three said as he approached them, Shizuo shifted his eyes to the rather large piece of plank the man is holding. The man tipped his head towards the box in Shizuo's hand as well, "You give him to us, and that, and you can go."

Shizuo felt Izaya shuddred in his arms, his slender fingers clutching the front of Shizuo's kimono.

"Why don't  _you_  leave."

The three laughed at Shizuo's remark and then, the next thing Shizuo saw was the three approaching them. Without hesitation Shizuo dropped the box and quickly stepped back with Izaya in his arms. He was fast and he quickly raised his other hand when he saw one of the lanky men dashed and reached a punch to his side. His focus quickly flee from Izaya to protecting himself, his other arm went lose, and then he felt Izaya's body swiftly being pulled away from him.

Everything is quick, Shizuo's eyes widen as he found the other lanky man snatching Izaya away, his filthy arms was pressed against Izaya's neck while his other hand was holding the back of the collar of Izaya's kimono. The brunette's mouth was wide and gaping probably wanting to scream for help but no sound escaped them. The lanky man walked backwards quickly dragging Izaya away. And the next thing Shizuo knew was he saw  _red._

_"AAAAARGH!"_

Izaya's eyes widen, Shizuo's features changed, his eyes were sharper looking, his jaws clenched, and his knuckles were trembling. His veins popped out of his skin as the man spun to quickly catch the incoming fist to his left with his bare hands, he quickly pulled the smaller man in front of him and threw a sickening loud punch in the man's face. Izaya knew what when a bone breaks, and he knew that the sound he heard was thee man's facial bones cracking under the blonde's fist. The man groaned as the fist left his face and he felt to the ground clutching his bloody and unrecognizable face.

He had not seen very clearly that night, but now it was clear, the rage that painted his warm eyes were strangely unfamiliar, it was as if he was looking at a different man. Where was the man who carried his sisters laughing, where was the man who just held him a while ago?

The biggest of the three ran to Shizuo with the plank in his hand and before Shizuo could have turned and dodge the attack the plank hit him with a loud sound. Izaya gasped soundlessly, his lips quivering, he could feel his body wanting to call out to the man.

_"All who loved the red of the Orihara will suffer only one fate."_

Izaya felt his heart hammered against his chest, he remembered the color of the fires that night, how they kissed his mother's skin, he remembered the red that painted her clothes, and the clear water that flowed in her eyes as she looked at him one last time. Izaya's hand twitched, the orange that kissed Shizuo's skin, the red that painted the wood beneath them, and the clear water flowing from the river—the sound of the plank falling on the floor resounded finally pulling Izaya in his state of trance, and he saw Shizuo staggering, his blonde hair slowly soaking in the color of Izaya's eyes, dripping down his face, the man standing in front of Shizuo stepped back unable to believe that the blonde is still standing in his two feet.

"H-How—y-you're a-a  _monste—ack!"_

Before the man could finish his words Shizuo grabbed the man by the neck and gripped it tightly, the man struggled under his hold with chocking sounds, but the blonde just stood still and watched him as color drained from his body and he slowly went limp. When Shizuo finally let go he turned to where Izaya was standing with his trembling attacker.

"I…zaya…-kun."

His voice had gone hoarse, obviously despite having an abnormal strength, Shizuo Heiwajima is not a God, he bleeds and breaks bones. Izaya's felt his throat drying up as he looked at the blonde calling his name. He staggered towards them visibly lacking the speed he possessed a few moment ago.

"G-Give…back…I-Izaya-k-kun."

Shizuo raised his bloodied hand as if reaching to Izaya, his sense of distance had probably been wrecked as well, he stumbled and tripped in his own feet until—

"Izaya…"

_SPLASH!_

Izaya gasped loudly, his arm extending as if reaching to the blonde who had fallen down from the side of the bridge—

_"S-Shizu-chan."_


	6. Magenta Panic

**_"Beauty is a curse of this world, it prevents you…to see the real monsters."_ **

* * *

 

 

_"You do nothing, cause nothing but anguish and injury!"_

_Shizuo pursed his lips as he looked at the boy pressed against the hip of his mother, he didn't mean it, he wanted to say those words but he felt tired of it. Tired of telling them he is not a monster, he had gone tired of apologizing. And maybe they were true, everywhere he went, every where he goes, he leaves nothing but pain, injury, blood and broken bones in his wake._

_"Why won't you just disappear?!"_

_He wanted that as well. He wants to just disappear._

_What does this world needs a monster like him for?_

_"All you are good is this, destruction."_

_As he grew nothing changed, no one would take a monster in. No one would trust a beast._

_"You're a monster disguised in the skin of a man."_

_A monster who knew nothing but violence, a heartless, rabid animal—_

_._

_._

_Red_

_Everything was painted in red, was it blood? Why was it red? Slowly his vision filled with red slowly blurred, somehow it didn't seem nauseating like the red of blood, but it was calm, and peaceful red, like the red of the fire one would lit in the middle of the dark lonely night in the forest, like the red of the rubies and lycoris. It was the red of his smiles, the red of his cries…_

_Izaya…_

_That strange foreign name in his lips, Shizuo felt his chest tightened as he saw the way those crimson eyes widen, his nimble and slender arms reaching towards him desperately, his lips were moving yet no sound left them._

_It was Izaya's red._

_Like the red of the flowers of the afterlife, frighteningly…beautiful._

_._

_._

**_SPLASH!_ **

Izaya gasped audibly, he felt a strange sensation in his whole body, a sense of urgency laced with panic and fear. The brunette quickly reached to the inside of the sleeves of his kimono where the spare surgical blade he stole from Shinra's office back at the manor is, the item fell to his fingertips and he gripped them tightly and with a swift movement the brunette raised the blade to his head and swung it towards the exposed neck of his attacker. Izaya felt the warm blood staining his hand but he paid no heed to it, the man groaned and screamed in pain quickly pushing him away as he clutched the open wound.

Izaya staggered forward holding his blade as he ran towards the edge of the bridge, the man's screams and wails of pain didn't reach Izaya's ears, his senses were filled with adrenaline. And he looked down beneath the bridge and he saw the faint color of those blonde locks slowly sinking down the waters.

The brunette opened his mouth to call the man's name but no sound escaped his lips, his body shook terribly—

_"That is what happens to people who touch you…you defile them."_

_"It's the curse of your blood."_

_"All of those who come in contact with you sign a contract with death."_

No…it wasn't Shizuo's fault.

_NO._

Before he knew it he was leaving everything behind, jumping down on the edge of the bridge.

.

.

.

.

_Slap!_

Shizuo's eyes flew open, his throat and chest felt painful and an uncontrollable coughing fit erupted from him. He turned to his side sputtering water clearing his system. When the water was completely expelled off his lungs he realized a throbbing pain in his head, reaching up his head he felt a sting of pain. And for some reason he was wet. He turned and found a weight pressing him down, to his surprise he found the mop of ebony black locks pressed up against him. Shizuo saw the labored breathing of the other, and he was just as wet as he is. The confused blonde looked around and found them both sprawled at a river bank.

"I…Izaya?"

The brunette didn't raised his head, but Shizuo had figured this would be Izaya. The brunette is the only person he knew that knows about him and still would be alright to be this close to him. Shizuo pressed a hand against his skull, did he…did he become, did he lose it again? He couldn't remember much, he just remember seeing Izaya reaching out to him held by someone—someone…someone tried to hurt Izaya.

Shizuo bolted up as if he was hit by some kind of electric shock, he pushed and gripped Izaya's shoulder to face him. The brunette stared back at him, his left hem of his kimono completely slipping off showing the white expanse of the undergarments. His eyebrows were furrowed in an expression Shizuo couldn't quite name, his small body quivering and his lips paler. The blonde's hands loosen and unconsciously cup the brunette's cheeks running a thumb against the supple skin. There was no bruise, no blood…

"You…You're alright."

The brunette's face fell, his eyes turned from sad, to frighten then angry. Izaya raised a fist and weakly punched Shizuo's chest, once, twice…continuously until he collapsed against the blonde's chest.

"What…what happened?" Shizuo asked. "Did I…did I hurt you? Did I pushed you in the water, what did I—"

Izaya pulled away shaking his head,  _"Stop, stop speaking, I am alright."_

"Did I hurt you?"

Izaya paused. He looked at Shizuo, the blonde's eyes was full of concern, it was strange to look at them. Why would he care if Izaya was hurt, he is the one who had brought this to them both. He is a walking magnet for all misfortunes, Izaya was the one who should be sorry, he should apologize for this man, for existing.

The brunette shook his head.

Shizuo closed his eyes and collapsed on his back making Izaya panic and quickly crawling to the blonde's side and patting the blonde's cheek. The blonde opened his eyes and took Izaya's wrist stopping the brunette from whatever he was trying to do. Caramel stared right at red.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Izaya pulled his hands away from Shizuo,  _"I thought you lost consciousness!"_

"I'm fine." Shizuo mumbled, he closed his eyes again. For the first time…he had been this close to someone and yet they were unharmed…by him. Shizuo chuckled to himself, "You really are tough, huh?"

_"What on earth are you saying, is your injury alright?"_

Shizuo opened his eyes and rememebered the rest of the event as his nerves finally calmed down, he fell down the river after he was hit in the head. Izaya was left with the man holding him.

"How are you…here?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya blinked and realized what he has done. He blinked and turned to his hand, he was actually still gripping the surgical blade. Dropping the blade on the ground, the brunette answered Shizuo, " _I managed to escape…I stabbed him with Shinra's surgical knife."_

Shizuo stared at Izaya taking the time to process the information, his head was still slightly numb.

"You…stabbed a guy…with a surgical knife?"

Izaya nodded.

Shizuo chuckled. "And you followed me here?"

Another nod.

"You must be kidding me."

Izaya frowned,  _"Kidding you? I deserve a thank you for hauling your ass out of that goddamned river! Do you have any idea how cold that river was? No! Of course you don't because your skin is as thick as an elephant's skin!"_

Shizuo stared at Izaya for a solid minute before started laughing.

_"You are insane!"_

Shizuo shook his head as his laughter came to a halt. He looked at Izaya who wore a deep frown.

"Thank you."

Izaya froze at the man's words, his voice was gentle and strangely warm, his eyes were soft and almost glowing. The brunette could feel heat creeping up in his cheeks. Shizuo always manage to caught him off guard, when his defences were down he would catch him in his state of complete vulnerability.

"Thaank you." Shizuo repeated. "No one…else would have done that."

Izaya knitted his eyebrows as he looked at Shizuo, what does he mean by that? He have friends, doesn't he, he worked once as a soldier, he would have other comrades surely.

_"I don't understand."_

Shizuo chuckled humourlessly, "Because I am strong."

_"It does not make sense."_

"When you are strong people expects that you can haul your ass off trouble yourself. That you don't need help from others."

_"But you have friends."_

Shizuo chuckled and pushed himself up to sit, "You have a lot to learn about humans."

.

.

.

Instead of taking the route through the bridge, Shizuo and Izaya threaded the river banks back to the town. Upon arriving at the town, Shizuo's clothes were almost half dry however Izaya's clothes were a different story, due to the thick fabric, it was still damp. Shizuo looked around for a familiar establishment and upon finding it pulled Izaya towards it. The two stood in front of a sushi house, before Shizuo could even knock the door of the shop opened revealing a tall grinning dark skinned foreigner.

"Shizu-o!" The man greeted with open arms.

Izaya squeaked in shock and quickly stepped behind Shizuo. The man quickly stopped midway of embracing the blonde and pulled away with wide eyes.

"You are wet." The Russian said with a thick foreign accent.

"Yeah," Shizuo said sighing, "Sorry about that but do you happen to have some spare clothes?"

"Of course." Simoun said raising both his hands in the air with a grin, "But you buy sushi later, okay?"

Shizuo chuckled, "Sure, I think we might need that."

Simoun nodded and stepped aside for the two to come in, Izaya stick closely to Shizuo as they stepped in. It was strange, Izaya had never seen a foreign man before—Celty is not a  _man,_  so it was outside his count. His smile wide and welcoming and he spoke very well for a foreigner. His eyes watched Simoun carefully wondering what nationality the man would be. He would definitely be a Westerner with his towering height.

Once the two stepped in, a fair skinned man behind the counter turned to the two and waved to Shizuo, "Shizuo what did you got yourself into again this time?" Izaya blinked at the man, he looked foreign his olive skin and his facial features were definitely not Japanese, however his Japanese is perfect almost no accent could be heard.

"Yeah, sorry." Shizuo said as he bowed his head. Everyone else in the shop seemed busy with their own food and business to even spare Shizuo a glance. "I asked Simoun if I can borrow some clothes."

The man hummed with a smile, "There are some in the back room, you know right?"

Shizuo nodded. Shizuo gestured to Izaya to follow him in the back room.

Shizuo had known the place just like the back of his hand, when he was younger, Simoun was the only one who could calm his nerves down, and by that he meant stop him physically. The dark skinned Russian migrant had always been kind enough to let him stay in the back of the shop and dress his wounds from his fights. Simoun knew well that Shizuo never meant bad, he was just always caught up with his uncontrollable rage but deep inside he is a quiet and collected man.

Shizuo opened the door to the back room, a single wooden table laid in the middle of the room with two stool, a double door wardrobe leaning against the wall.

"There's some clothes in the wardrobe," Shizuo pointed at the wooden furniture, "Change in them for now."

Izaya hesitantly walked inside the room, and turned to Shizuo expectantly.

"I'll close the door unless you want me to watch you strip." Izaya blushed down to his neck from the blonde's words, "Yeah, figures. I'll just be behind this door and knock if you're done."

Shizuo closed the door quietly and left Izaya on his own in the room. The brunette shivered with the damp of the clothes against his skin. After checking on the door one last time, Izaya started untying his obi and dropping the kimono on the floor. He opened the cabinet to look at the clothes and just randomly picked one, the size was actually right for him. He started completely undressing himself and changing into the pale yellow yukata.

After he was completely dressed, Izaya started picking up his clothes and folding them and placing them on top of the table.

"Are you done?"

Izaya almost jumped as he heard Shizuo's voice and turned towards the door, Izaya took a quiet sigh when the door was still closed and Shizuo's shadow could be seen behind it. Izaya walked towards the door and knocked twice, Shizuo opened the door and stopped almost frozen. The brunette looked strange in simple clothing, without the lavish designs of his usual kimono, a single layered clothing that fit him well and that isn't red or black as well.

 _"W-What?"_ Izaya asked almost blushing at the inspecting eyes of the blonde, " _Stop staring you peasant!"_

Shizuo shrugged and pulled Izaya out of the room before stepping in and closing the door behind him.

Izaya frowned, the blonde just knew how to rile him up by not answering. He knew Izaya always wanted concrete and quick answers, and he was omitting that just to piss him off.

"Shizu-o's friend?"

Izaya gasped at the sound of the man's voice he turned and almost tripped in his feet as he backed away, he found himself staring at the towering dark skinned man.

"Oh, 's okay!" The man said smiling, "All Shizu-o's friends are Simoun's friend!"

Izaya stared at the man uncomfortably, what should he do, does the man know how to sign? What should he do. Izaya shifted in his feet uncomfortably the man looked at him curiously this time, but then his expression changed again into a full grin.

"My name is Simoun!" the man said before taking Izaya's hand and shaking them, Izaya's eyes widen. His hands were the same as Shizuo's their callouses were in the same, remarkably similar. Then it hit Izaya—he pulled his hand quickly with wide eyes.

"Izaya-kun what are you—"

Shizuo gasped as he opened the door and found Izaya running to his back and pushing him towards Simoun. The blonde blinked in confusion as he felt Izaya's hands clutching in the back of his blue yukata and were trembling.

"You're scared of Simoun?" Shizuo asked to the brunette.

The brunette didn't answer just hid behind Shizuo.

"He's Izaya, Orihara Izaya." Shizuo said.

"Oh." Simoun said smiling, "Welcome, welcome to Russian Sushi Izaya-kun!"

Shizuo sighed when Izaya didn't stop clutching the back of Shizuo's clothes, he took Izaya's arm and tugged him to let go and pulled him to his side, "He's a foreigner Izaya." Shizuo said trying to encourage Izaya to look at the man and let go of him, like a child exposed to people for the first time. "He's a cook and a helper here."

Izaya swallowed hard and looked at Shizuo as if asking the validity of the blonde's words.

"I'm not lying."

Izaya pursed his lips and loosened his grip from Shizuo's clothes, Simoun smiled widely at the sight.

"Oh, I know! Sushi! Sushi is good for Izaya-kun!"

Shizuo just chuckled as he pulled Izaya away towards the main shop. When the blonde spotted an empty booth, he pulled Izaya with him and sat on the tatami floor with the low table. Izaya roamed his eyes around the room. It was quiet place and almost impossibly owned by a foreign man with all the authentic touch of Japanese art and design. There were number of people so he figured it was quite a popular place to eat in the town.

"After this, no more detours, we're so much late than intended and we also left the package Shinra gave to us." Shizuo started as he propped his elbows on the table with his chin on his palm.

 _"Why did we stop here?"_  Izaya signed back,  _"I don't understand how your nimble mind works. We could have asked Shinra for assistance we were closer than walking to here."_

Shizuo turned to Izaya and sighed, "I thought you were the genius one between us."

Izaya frowned and took a disposable chopsticks set on the table and hit the blonde with the sticks' end.

Shizuo flinched and frowned back at the brunette, "Stop hitting me whenever you feel like it, are you a kid or what?"

_"You didn't answer my question you nincompoop!"_

Shizuo gaped, he didn't understand what the last word Izaya signed but he was very well sure that it wasn't good. No, not at all. The blonde scowled and sighed, "Going back to Shinra will be more difficult for the travel, it's like going back to our starting point, and we don't have that time. We need to get going."

_"We could have stayed the night."_

"We can't."

_"Why?"_

Shizuo sighed for the umpteenth time, "Because your Father will comb the whole town in search for you if we don't return before sun down."

_"Then you can leave me in Shinra's place while you go tell my father."_

Shizuo frowned, "Are you out of your mind?"

_"No!"_

"Did you just saw what happened or did you easily forget earlier?" Shizuo's voice came louder than expected earning him a few looks from the other customers. Shizuo pursed his lips and meekly tried to calm himself down. He shook his head and run a hand through his blonde locks. "I can't leave you alone, okay?"

Izaya blinked at the man's words, totally taken aback. His words rung in his ear and lit a small flame in his skin making his cheeks flush.

"Sushi!"

Izaya almost jumped from his skin when he heard Simoun's voice, he turned to the man who set the a plate of skilfully made ootoro on the table. The man waved to the two before excusing himself. Izaya stared at the sushi, he shifted his eyes from Shizuo as if asking for a silent permission. When Shizuo just watched him, Izaya sighed and took a slice into his chopsticks and sniffed it.

"It's safe." Shizuo said sighing. "They're not gonna poison you."

Izaya frowned but took a bite. He chewed slowly savouring the fresh taste of the fish melting in his mouth. His eyes widen, it was so much better than the food Namie brings him.

"So you eat fish, huh."

Izaya raised his head with another slice between his chopsticks, raising an eyebrow at a silent question at the blonde.

Shizuo pointed at Izaya's plate, "Namie-san brings you cooked fish for most of your meal but you don't eat them. I thought you don't like fish."

Izaya ignored Shizuo and continued eating.

"There's something about a whole fish that you don't like, right?"

Izaya almost choked on his food as he heard Shizuo's conclusion, he looked up at the blonde with shock. Shizuo had only been serving them in a few days and he had already made such sharp hypothesis. He highly underestimated Shizuo and the blonde's intellectual ability, sometimes he may look all muscles without brains, but the truth is he has both. Izaya looked away, no one knew except Shinra and his father about his petty fear.

"You're doing that again." Shizuo commented. "Looking away and all that."

_"Drop it."_

Shizuo laughed, "Fish eyes."

Izaya flinched at the words making Shizuo smirk.

"It's the fish eyes, right?"

_"I don't know what you are talking about so stop it already."_

Shizuo shrugged and turned away looking at Simoun who walked towards the door and opened it for the customers. The towering dark skinned Russian had such a big and warm smile, no one would suspect what things he hid behind them. Simoun was one of the few people Shizuo respected with his all.

"He came from a land in the North." Shizuo started as he turned to Izaya. "I don't really know his real name, but we call him Simoun."

 _"What…is he?"_  Izaya asked warily.

"You figured that out too, huh." Shizuo replied, "He used to get paid by killing people. That's what he said to us. He was given money to kill people before."

_"And you believe that too?"_

Shizuo nodded, "Yeah."

_"Why?"_

Shizuo shrugged, "How about you, why did you run to me when you saw Simoun?"

Izaya raised his hand to sign an answer, however he was lost for an answer. Why did his body moved to Shizuo, for all he knew he could have pushed him away. Did he believe Shizuo would protect him, on what basis? He never believed on anyone before, so why now?

"You trust me that's why."

Izaya pursed his lips,  _"You wish, I would sell your soul for marble."_

.

.

.

As the two approached the estate, Shizuo contemplated something odd. Izaya remained nonchalant but something was different with the way the sky is painted. Looking up at the sky the blonde frowns at the strange glow of the sky, somehow it looked eerily familiar. The blonde stopped and felt something falling from the sky.

"Snow?"

Shizuo's voice made Izaya stopped, he turned and found Shizuo looking up, his head completely titled to the air.

 _"You are out of your mind, there is no way it is snowing."_  Izaya signed. He watched Shizuo who was still in his position. Then he saw it, something fluttering across the air, a very small particle. Then it fell to Shizuo's cheeks.

Shizuo blinked and reached a hand to his cheek picking the small particle that fell in his cheeks. His eyes widen, it wasn't snow. It was black, and hot.

"Ash." Shizuo muttered.

Then it hit Shizuo, he looked up towards the horizon, and it clicked, the bright light coming from the horizon is not the sun setting. Shizuo grabbed Izaya's wrist quickly and run towards the estate. Shizuo had mostly wish he is right, but right now, he sincerely wish he is wrong—

_The Orihara Estate is on fire!_


	7. The Garnet Fire

_"Izaya?"_

_"Izaya wake up."_

_Opening his eyes he found himself coughing, the air was thick and his room was filled with smoke. He bolted up out of panic, he reached and grabbed for his mother. The woman quickly wrapped her arms around him and kissed his head._

_"What's happening Mother?"_

_The woman pulled away and quickly ushered Izaya up from his futon. It was difficult to see._

_"Listen, you need to get out of the house, quickly!" she said as she pulled Izaya with her down the halls._

_Izaya's eyes widen, everything was engulfed in fire. Everything was painted in red. He coughed as the thick smoke blocked his airways. He didn't understand, everything was fine earlier, why was there a fire. Where are their servants? Why isnt there anyone else in the house?_

_Then Izaya felt something pulled him from behind, his hand slipped from his mother's grasp and he watched her turn towards him with fear and horror painting her beautiful face._

_"Mother!"_

_"Izaya!" His mother quickly ran and tried to wrestle with the man holding Izaya but a push was all it took to make the poor woman stumbled down on the floor. The woman however could not let her son be taken away that easily, she turned to the man again and with tears staining her eyes she lurched forward, then Izaya watched the man kick his mother in the gut causing her to fall from her knees, clutching her middle._

_"No!" Izaya exclaimed loudly as he tried to wriggle himself off the man's grasp, "Let go of me!"_

_The man laughed loudly, his voice horrific and wicked._

_"Mother!" Izaya called out quickly to his mother._

_"Give back my son!"_

_All pleas and beg fell in deaf ears. Izaya's eyes widen when he saw another man coming from behind his mother. His heart hammered loudly in his chest, he saw a flash of light, the fire reflected on the metal in the man's hand making it look like it was on fire as well. And slowly he came towards him._

_"Mother go!" Izaya exclaimed loudly. "Mother leave me now!"_

_"No!" His mother exclaimed, she stood in her weak limbs and tried to reach out to him. "Please give back my son, he has done no wrong! Please release him!"_

_The man laughed loudly and kicked the woman away. When she was down on the floor, the man pulled Izaya to face his mother, the man's arm around his neck almost choking him. The moment Izaya's mother raised her head again, the man suddenly slid one of his hand inside the collar of Izaya's kimono causing the boy to squirm and scream for help. The woman's eyes grew wide with horror and concern for her son—_

_"Izaya! No!"_

_Then everything was slow, Izaya saw his mother stumbled twice with the hem of her kimono as she try to get up as quickly as she can, and the glint of the weapon behind the smokes it was right above her head—_

_"Mother no!"_

_SPLAT_

_Izaya felt all the air in his lungs was punched away, he felt the warm blood sprayed on him staining his clothes and the horrible and merciless laugh filled the air. His mother fell to the floor with thud, her right arm were almost torn off her body, her blood pooled under her as she struggled to reach out to Izaya with her other arm. She mouthed the name of her son but no voice slipped her lips. Izaya's body shook as he was forced to watch her as she dies unable to do anything in the arms of a much bigger and stronger man._

_He watched as the fire lick her corpse._

.

.

.

It can't be. Izaya shook his head, this must be some elaborate prank, that or he is dreaming. Yes, that's it, this must be a nightmare. This is impossible.

The Orihara Estate was completely surrounded with fire, he could see the blazing fire so tall that it was almost kissing the sky and painting it with its awful color, the color Izaya hated the most. He raced with his breathe as the scent of burning wood filled his nose, it was awful. He trembled and he felt his heart beating wildly in his chest, he looks around, why isn't there anyone putting out the fire? Where is Shizuo, what was taking him so long?

"Izaya!"

The brunette turned from where the familiar voice called, he found Shizuo running towards him panting. The blonde left saying he would call for help from the town.

"Has anyone left the estate yet?" Shizuo asks as he grabs Izaya's arm. He could feel the rapid and abnormal rise and fall of the brunette's shoulder, he is breathing too fast, an obvious sign of panic. Izaya answers by shaking his head. Shizuo let go of Izaya and looked at the burning estate, he assessed the damages, the big fires is coming from the side of the estate where Izaya's room is and is slowly crawling and damaging the rest.

Shizuo felt Izaya tugging his sleeves, when he turned to look at Izaya, he found the crimson eyes staring at him with tears breaming in them. Even without his words, Shizuo knew what Izaya was asking for him to do. And he knows it is what he should do—

_Crash!_

Shizuo and Izaya both turned towards the gate and to their surprise, it was Namie, the woman had ripped his kimono's sleeves and cut the hem of his kimono up to her knees, in her arms is a brunette child. Namie quickly ran to the two waiting for them and Shizuo quickly took the unconscious child in Namie's arms. Izaya's heart stop as Shizuo laid his sister on the ground. Everything else disappears from Izaya's line of sight. He ignored the servants flooding out of the estate, the screams and the cries, his eyes focused on his pale skinned sister lying on the dirt.

"What happened to her?" Shizuo asked almost raising his voice at Namie. He knew it wasn't the woman's fault. He may be vile and obnoxious, but if she wanted to burn the Orihara Estate she would have done it a long time ago.

"I-I found her unconscious, I brought her out as soon as I can." Namie explained, she pushed Shizuo away and placed a hand over the child's chest. "She's still breathing!"

Shizuo felt relieved at the news, however the horror was not done—

"Orihara-sama is still inside!"

Shizuo's eyes widens and he turns to look at Namie, this is only Mairu, where is the other twin? Namie seems too caught up with Shizuo's reaction and answered quickly, "She's still inside, I-I was trying to get Mauiri out, I-I swear she was with me a moment ago, b-but when I looked back she's not there anymore!"

Izaya's legs lose it's strength at the news, he couldn't take it, both his father and sister are still inside the burning house. He fell on his knees, clutching his aching heart. This is because of him, he should have known, this is the fate that he brings to the people around him. It should have been him, if only he didn't leave, it should be him trapped in there.

"Izaya!" Izaya felt a warm hand placed on his shoulder, as if he was pulled out of the water and the first thing he saw were the amber eyes. "Listen to me, listen very carefully, do you understand me?"

Izaya nodded his head.

"I wont let anything happen to your sister, or your father." Shizuo said with determined eyes, Izaya's widen. He could see the red of his eyes reflecting in Shizuo's eyes however, it was not ugly, it was strange that he could watch the red of his eyes in Shizuo's amber eyes and not hate it. It was engulfed in the warmth and beauty of Shizuo's eyes. "Stay with Namie-san, I  _promise_  I will come back and save them."

Izaya is still in shock when Shizuo's warmth left his shoulder. His eyes watched as the blonde stood and went to Namie to say something.

.

.

.

The smoke filled the space and ate the air, it was thick and almost impossible to breathe, the fact that the Orihara estate is made of woods were not a help either, with his vivid memory of what the estate looked like, Shizuo navigated through the smoke covered house. Despite his job spinning around mostly protecting the heir of the Orihara family, Shizuo couldn't simply sit still and wait until help come when he knows a child is inside. He couldn't simply leave Orihara Suichiro inside, not because he is his employer, but because he is Izaya's father. Shizuo has never lose a family member, but he imagined a life without one of them would be painful, and in Izaya's case where almost half of his life all he knew were them it would be more than painful, no one deserves to lose a love one, and no one ever deserve to think it is their fault.

Shizuo saw the look in Izaya's eyes, even if he didn't speak, he saw the pain in them, the guilt and the self-loathe in them. He was made to believe he is a cursed child who bring forth misery, and because of that he enclosed himself from the rest of the world, to protect himself from the real pain that is brought about by certain closeness to people. He made himself to believe he didn't need anyone else.

All Izaya has is his family, his sisters, and his father. Shizuo can still remember the man's face when he told Shizuo that he is the first person to acknowledge his son, he looked happy, blissed. He understood that it must have been difficult for the man to tell Shizuo to get Izaya out of the estate for once, he was the one who took Shinra to help Izaya, he is the one who had to watch Izaya close himself from the rest of the world, every single time. Orihara Suichiro has fears too, but he loves his family, he loves Izaya.

"Orihara-san!" Shizuo called out through the sounds of clacking of the woods burning through the fire. "Orihara-san!"

Shizuo coughed a few times due to the smoke, thee longer he spends inside the more difficult it becomes to breathe. He went further into the estate, he barely felt the fire licking his skin and causing blisters in his arms, his borrowed yukata were tinted in black ash and soot. Despite the lack of response Shizuo continued to walk into the halls, it was getting hotter.

"S-Shizuo-kun?"

Shizuo spun around as a familiar voice cracked amidst the fire, he ran as fast as he could towards where the voice is coming from. Without hesitation Shizuo kicked the door open to where he heard the voice coming from, his eyes blinked at the sight, it was blurry due to the smoke, but he is pretty sure it is a bathroom. Shizuo ran inside and his eyes widen.

"S-Shizuo-kun." Suichiro called him in his hoarse voice. The man is sitting on the bathroom floor with his daughter in his side. The little girl looks at Shizuo with a hand with a wet towel covering her nose.

Shizuo immediately ran to them and to his surprise he saw a large gash in Suichiro's head making the side of his face decorated in blood. However despite the injury the man held strongly in his side, his face pale but his hands held his daughter protectively.

"We must go." Shizuo said. "I will bring you both outside."

The man coughs out loud and almost falling face first on the floor, however he fought to stay upright and pushed his daughter towards the blonde young man.

"Take Kururi with you." the man said almost out of breathe, "bring her to safety please."

"I will, but you will come with us." Shizuo said as he reached out to the man, however the man shook his head and pushed Shizuo's hand away.

"No." he insisted, "I am injured, and at this state, I will be more of a burden to both of you. I will stall both of you in your escape, go now."

"Orihara-sama you can't—"

"Shizuo-kun?" Shizuo was shut by the man calling his name, his eyes soften and it almost broke Shizuo's heart. It is the same eyes that his mother would flash him whenever she would console him of the kids who called him a monster when he was a child. "Tell me, Shizuo-kun…did…did Izaya liked the outside world? Did my son…did he had fun today?"

"Y-Yes." Shizuo's voice broke.

Suichiro nodded slowly, "Tell him…when you see him, that I am proud of him." He chuckles and coughs almost at the same time, "I never had the chance to tell him that you know, Izaya…he's a bright child and I am proud of him, always."

"Please tell him that yourself."

"I can't." he replied, "Please Shizuo-kun…this is only the beginning, protect my son…promise me."

Shizuo hesitated for a second, however, the man was right, there was a big possibility that by bringing an injured grown man with him with a child cradled in his arms would risk their escape. Orihara Suchiro knew this as well and he was telling Shizuo to follow his battle instincts, to save those who have higher chances of living and leave the ones that will be burden in the process.

"Go on,  _now_." The man demanded coughing between his words.

Shizuo felt his hold to the child tighten a bit as he pressed the little girl in his chest protectively. He looked at Orihara Suichiro's eyes, his pitch black eyes reflecting the orange and red fire, his determined look reminded him of Izaya's eyes, he is again one of those who he fails to protect.

The blonde nodded and secured the child in his arms and stood up.

"I'm sorry." Shizuo said to the man. However unlike the times that Shizuo failed his missions, failed to protect people, Suichiro didn't lash angrily at him, the man smiled warmly at Shizuo and mouthed the words that emblazed itself in the blonde's heart.

_"Thank you…please protect my children in my stead."_

.

.

.

.

Izaya didn't realize how long he has been holding his breath until Shizuo busted out of the burning house. He ignored Namie's warnings, despite the woman's hold in him, Izaya wiggled himself off and run towards Shizuo pushing everyone away. His body was overridden with adrenaline and pure concern. Shizuo was limping and parts of his clothes were burnt showing the slightly burnt flesh underneath them, in his arms was an unconscious child he recognizes quickly. The blonde almost stumbled twice as he tried to walk towards them.

The people containing the fire turned for a moment to Shizuo, some of them started calling out for some help to aid the blonde, however Shizuo pushed them all away refusing anyone who dares touch the child in his arms. He was in daze, his mind was numb due to the lack of oxygen from the fire, it was difficult to breathe, his lungs filled with smoke, the last thing his mind kept repeating to him was to bring the child to Izaya. When Shizuo's limbs tangled itself, the blonde found himself falling down, his body slowly giving up to his weight and losing its all function with the lack of proper air, then he felt it.

There was a smaller, slender and warm familiar hand placed in his hand that was resting in the back of the child in his arms, while the other hand was in his shoulder almost pushing him to keep him steady. He looked up and found the beautiful bright red eyes looking right at him, eyebrows furrowed, he look like he cried.

"Izaya…" Shizuo whispered. "I…I'm sorry."

He failed again, Shizuo felt his legs finally giving up on him and he fell kneeling on the dirt. Izaya tried to keep him up, the brunette looked at him expectantly, he knew that look.

"I'm sorry." Shizuo repeated. Izaya's eyes widen.

_"Where is Father, Shizuo?"_  Izaya signed to Shizuo.

The blonde shook his head weakly. This made Izaya's eyes finally bream with tears, slowly the tears slid down his cheeks, he stared at Shizuo with his bright red eyes unable to put words into his fingertips. The sound of the burning house and woods cracking resounded behind them.

Namie came running to them, she stopped midway however when he saw that Shizuo returned with only one person with him, and it was Kururi. Shizuo's condition was bad but the blonde's hold in the child was secure, Namie guessed the blonde sustained the injury from protecting the child from the falling burning debris. The woman could read the expression in Shizuo's face, he wasn't able to save the head of the estate.

"Namie-san!"

Namie turned to face where the voice came from, it is the dark haired doctor. The man ran to her and his eyes widen when he saw both Shizuo and Izaya sitting on the dirt with an unconscious Kururi in Shizuo's arm. Shinra's eyes widen, he looked up to see the burning house before him. It was horrible, it looked almost like the fire that killed Izaya's mother and the smell of gasoline though faint was present. Taking the most rational move, Shinra moved towards the two.

"Izaya-kun!" Shinra called as he placed a hand over Izaya's shoulder to call his attention, however the brunette just as the doctor guessed was completely stunned, eyes dressed with his tears. "Namie-san take Izaya from here quickly!"

Namie nodded and went to take Izaya with her. Shinra noticed Izaya's hands were on Shizuo's hand and the blonde's shoulder. Izaya rarely touched people, especially those who were not his family. Izaya's fingertips left Shizuo making the blonde shake from the utter feeling of defeat and failure. Izaya quietly let Namie take him away.

"Shizuo-kun." Shinra called as he scanned quickly for the blonde's injury, his skin were burnt in multiple places, some were not in good conditions and would probably hurt if Shizuo was any normal human. However, probably due to the adrenaline still running in his veins and the urge to protect, the blonde could barely feel his skin. "Shizuo-kun can you hear me?"

Shizuo didn't respond.

"Shizuo-kun we need to take Kururi." Shinra said as he tried to take the child in the blonde's arms.

"Shin…ra?"

"Yes, its me." Shinra said as he pried the unconscious child from Shizuo. Luckily the blonde recognized him and slacken his hold letting Shinra take the child. When Shinra was able to hold the child, the doctor placed a hand on the child's back feeling the beating and the breathing through the fabric of her clothes. Her breathing is slow but her heart is beating in its usual speed. Shizuo did a great job saving the child with barely scratches in her. "She's alive Shizuo-kun!" Shinra exclaimed however his exclamation was accompanied by the sound of a body falling with a loud sound against the ground.

To Shinra's surprise he found Shizuo lying on the ground unconsciously.

"Shizuo-kun!"

.

.

In some house in the outskirts of Ikebukuro a lone man stood peering at the window of his home, a dark smoke could be seen rising up to the sky like dark gray clouds from the earth reaching the blood shot sky. A smirk spread through the man's lips, his index finger taps on the window pane feeling the excitement rise up in his system.

"You don't simply catch a rat." The man mutters, "First you smoke its nest to get it out…then,  _you_  catch it."

The man chuckles as he turns to face his collection, large jars of red marbles decorated the room, however in the midst of it was a lone jar filled with strange liquid and swimming inside them are two round objects shining of the rare combination of the color of blood and the setting sun, the infamous cursed eyes of the Orihara clan.


	8. Flight of Vermilion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO EVERYONE JUST WANNA INVITE ANYONE HERE WHO ARE RESIDING IN THE PHILIPPINES TO JOIN US AT YURI ON ICE CONVENTION--BORN TO MAKE HISTORY FAN GATHERING THIS COMING MARCH! I will be joining two of my dearest friends as artist exhibitors as the JuiceColoredCo. You can see my work on my instagram @littlekisa or join us on our Facebook page JuiceColoredCo. Please help us by buying a few of our prints, it will help us massively! 
> 
> LOVE LOTS

_Black clothes, wailing, tears._

_It was raining that morning, Shizuo could vaguely remember a number of people standing there at the cemetery. A tall man in black mourning clothes stood in the lead, a familiar man stood next to him with a parasol shielding the man in mourning clothes from the pounding rain. His face is hidden with the shadow of the umbrella, however for some reason Shizuo knew the man is crying._

" _Onii-san, what are you looking at?"_

_Shizuo heard his brother called him but he didn't turn._

_The rain filled the holes in the pitiful and dry ground but it didn't fill the hole the heart of the man standing there._

" _He looks sad." Shizuo found himself saying, his child-like mind could no better._

" _Of course he is." His younger brother answered, his brother who always knew better. "He lost someone, of course he is sad."_

" _But he's trying to be strong." Shizuo said. Despite the pain from the man's eyes, his hands were clenched into a fist, into a strong will to not to break down totally._

" _He is."_

_The rain poured down on the man's heart, mercilessly._

" _Come on." Shizuo said turning around._

" _Could he be the man who owns the big house that got burnt down yesterday?"_

_Shizuo blinked and turned around—_

…

"I thought I'd see you here."

Shinra stood at the doorway of the dimly lit room, his shadow over lapped the figure sitting next to the  _futon._ It has been straight two days since the day burning of the Orihara Estate, the incident made it to the newspaper and many people, especially from the people whom Orihara Suichiro worked for, sent their regards. The funeral was held quickly and simply, but his eldest son didn't go. It has been straight two days since then and the rain hasn't stopped since the funeral.

Everything that the Orihara family owned were burnt to the ground, none were left for any of them, not for Izaya, not for the twins. On the first night, Izaya cried himself to sleep, he kept to himself refusing to see anyone. Then on the morning after he went to see Shinra finally only to tell him to send their sisters to someone whom Shinra trust. At first it made Shinra wonder what goes in the mind of the brunette to send his sisters away, to someone he doesn't know, to somewhere far away, however it clicked to him as he saw the look in the eyes of the brunette.

Fortunately, the twins didn't seem to have any problems, or so that was how it seemed. The twins quietly bid their good bye to Izaya the next day and left to go with Sharaku Eijiro, a man who owned a small  _dojo_  close to Edo who happened to owe a small favour from the late head of the Orihara family. Despite the silence of twins as they took the carriage with a man they've never met before, with only Shinra's words to trust, the young doctor found the reluctance in the twins' eyes to leave their brother.

Since their absence, it was as if the silence had doubled in the humble adobe. Shinra had always been used with the tranquil of silence with only a headless woman as his company, however the silence had been heavier after the incident. It was not as if the doctor put the blame on the brunette and his sisters who came to reside with them after the fateful incident, nor does he blame it on the unconscious blonde laying down on that futon in that dimly lit room.

"Despite his high pain tolerance and faster healing capacity than most people, he is still is a  _human_." Shinra said sighing. "He sustained a broken rib, third degree burns in his upper arm and left shoulder, he had inhaled quite a lot of gas as well, it would take time for him to pull his whole body back to functional state."

Since the absence of the twins, Izaya had shown strange behaviors. At first, the doctor thought it was a way of compensating from the loss of his father and then his sisters, he would sit next to Shizuo whenever he can and he could stay there for hours just simply looking at the blonde without moving a single muscle and he would only leave in time for every meal just to return a few hours after with a tray of porridge and a glass of water and settle it next the unconscious blonde.

"You need to take a rest as well."

Shinra didn't see a flinch from the brunette who sat still. His hands were covered in bandages due to trying to make porridge by himself, a task he refuse to let anyone do for him. It was strange to look at a boy who grew up with everything served to him in a silver platter doing usual household chores.

Sighing, Shinra shook his head.

"He  _will_  wake up." Shinra said finally catching Izaya's attention. "I know you are feeling guilty, and don't even try and deny it, but you need to trust Shizuo-kun. He might still be human, but he isn't  _any_  human. He  _is_ Heiwajima Shizuo."

Shinra finally found himself smiling as the brunette raised his head. Turning around, Shinra welcomed the determination behind the crimson eyes.

" _Teach me, Shinra."_ Izaya signed.

Standing up, the brunette stares at his friend and physician, Shinra could barely recognize the man standing before him. He isn't the cowardly brunette he first met in the extravagant estate, protected and served, he is no longer the cowering child sitting in the corner of his room refusing the world in fear of hate, rejection, the man standing before him didn't have any of those cowardly thoughts of running away but instead a burning conviction.

" _This time, I will be the one who will protect them."_

.

.

.

If there was a meaning to power, perhaps he was not informed of it, perhaps when the meaning were spoken to men he was not yet born, or perhaps he wasn't listening. All he saw in power were the emptiness it brought to him. Where was the happiness in the howl of his limbs and the strength of his muscle, where was the happiness in the destruction he brought. There was none. No matter how he try to make use of it for the better it never turn the way he wish it.

The red and hot anger would flash clouding all his sense, and when he would come back his hands will be painted with their blood. Power only caused him to hurt others, the people around him, his parents, his family… _everyone_ , and then there was him.

Red.

His eyes were red just like the lycoris that guides the dead to the afterworld, he was just like him bringing misfortune to those who they came along with. Curses were written in their blood.

It was easy to leave, to turn around and say no but he didn't. He said yes and took the job making himself believe this was simply because he owe Shinra a favour for giving free medical assistance to him when he needs it. It was a lie.

He wanted to grab him out of his own darkness, not for Shinra, not for that young man's sake either, but for his own sake, for his own stupid reason, for himself and for no one else. He wanted to prove that he is not simply a monster that people called him, that he is capable of saving, of  _protecting_.

But he failed, he failed, and failed, every single time.

What is power, when it could not save anyone?

What is power when the only thing he can be is a monster who takes lives and watch people die in his hands?

.

.

_Blink_

He blinks and found a blurry sight of a ceiling, for some reason despite knowing this is where he shouldn't be, he remember well the sight before him as if he had seen it a thousand times. His whole body felt like it hit a wall, it was hard to breathe, and his lips felt dry as a dessert. Turning his head to the side he found a tray set next to him, upon his eyes landing on the clear glass of water, he found himself regaining its vigor. He quickly pulled himself up ignoring the sting of pain in his rib and shoulder, he sat up and grabbed the glass of water and drank it.

When his thirst finally dissolves, Shizuo found himself questioning where exactly he is. It didn't look like anywhere he should be, and for some reason his instinct told him this isn't anywhere he should be waking up. Looking down in his lap he looked around for any trace of clue where he might be but the room is empty with only the futon set.

There were no vases, not even a small drawer in the room but simply just his sleeping mattress.

Then something clicked in his mind that made Shizuo bolt up, his limbs tangled from the long time it didn't move almost making him trip and fall to the floor. However the blonde didn't let that get of him, his mind clouded the sense of pain as adrenaline quickly pumped up in his body, he quickly ran to the door and opened it.

His eyes were assaulted with the bright morning light and the sound of wind and drips of water. As his eyes adjusted to the light he found himself staring at the familiar indoor garden.

"Ah."

Shizuo quickly spun to grab the person who just arrived, his mind had only one thing in mind and it didn't register the face of the man standing there whom he had grabbed the collar.

"Where is Izaya?!" He exclaimed grabbing the hem of the kimono of the man before him.

The man automatically raised his hands in defence and a familiar awkward grin painted his face.

"S-Shizuo-kun c-calm down first."

Shizuo gasped as his mind finally registered the face of the man before him, he quickly let go of him in shock and guilt. Shinra chuckled and smoothed down his clothes.

"I'm really glad you're up and kicking now Shizuo-kun but don't strain yourself." Shinra said. "Izaya's fine."

Shizuo felt a cough coming up so he turned and covered his lips.

"You inhaled a lot of gas from the fire so—"

Shizuo's eyes widen at the word,  _fire_ , ah yes, the fire.

" _Protect my son…"_

Shizuo turned to face Shinra and he quickly grabbed the doctor by the arm, his eyes wide in panic.

"Orihara Suichiro—w-where is Orihara-san?"

Shinra's expression fell, and his smile faded. He saw the tremble in his friend's body, the panic and fear in his eyes, in the eyes of the beast of Ikebukuro. He should have been used to this, and yet his heart did not allow him to stop feeling, scarring, wounding, hurting him every single time.

"He's dead Shizuo."

Shinra knew the weight of the words that left his tongue and yet he still decided that it was best that the blonde know now, there is no use in trying to hide it, nor would there be any use of omitting the information from the other. Shinra had no choice but to watch Shizuo stare at him in disbelief, the doctor knew that the other knows this, deep inside he knows that the moment he left that burning building with only the little girl in his arms the man would die. Shizuo may be dubbed as stupid air-headed monster who knew nothing but violence but Shinra knew better, he wouldn't have survived being a mercenary with just brawls.

Shizuo's hold went slack as he stepped back with trembling hands. He remember the weight of the small girl in his arms as he ran out of the fire with her, he remember the man's last words echoing in the back of his mind. He shouldn't have left, he should have gone back, he should be able to…but he didn't.

"I-I left him…I shouldn't—"

"Shizuo-kun calm down." Shinra said grabbing Shizuo's arm. "His death is not your fault!"

"N-No I-I failed again I—"

"Izaya doesn't think it's your fault either."

It made Shizuo stop finally. Despite not telling it aloud, Shinra saw the way Shizuo understood Izaya in a level that probably no one had ever been since the death of Izaya's mother. Perhaps he saw himself in the brunette, the hate and self-loath, perhaps he wanted at least for him not to feel the way the blonde feels about himself.

After all, the people who first responds to the cry is someone who is familiar with the hurt, it is either they have seen it before suffered by someone close to them, or they have cried that loud once as well.

Shizuo was the latter.

"This is not a place to talk, let's go somewhere else, shall we?"

.

.

.

"How long was I out?" Shizuo asked as soon as they arrived at Shinra's living room.

"Today would have been the fourth day if you didn't woke up just now." Shinra answered. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been pushed through some kind of hole and hit the ground below."

Shinra smiled, "Well at least your senses are now working which is a good sign."

Shizuo turned to the opened doors overlooking the garden. It was awfully quiet.

"Orihara-san was buried right after." Shinra decided to fill Shizuo with the information, "The whole estate was burnt to crisp, nothing was left."

Shizuo felt guilt rise in his chest with a painful burn, Izaya's fear filled expression flashed at the back of his mind, he remember the questioning look he gave him asking for his father, and yet he couldn't answer him with the words he wanted to hear. How can he not feel anger towards himself when the least he could do is protect his employer and yet he failed again.

"Your agreement with Orihara-san ended the day he died." Shinra said quietly, "You are free to find another job."

"No."

Shinra raised an eyebrow at Shizuo utterly confused by the answer of his friend.

"I don't think I heard you right I think you said—"

"No." Shizuo repeated again as he turned to look at Shinra. His eyes were filled with the determination it always held.

"Shizuo-kun I don't think you understand," Shinra said, "The whole estate was burnt down, the Orihara cannot pay your services anymore, that's why you are now free to find a new job and—"

"I don't think you heard me either, I said  _no_." Shizuo repeated. "I will continue to protect Orihara Suichiro's son."

Shinra could not find the words to explain the way Shizuo looked when he said those words; brave, naïve, stupid,  _suicidal_? Monsters were said to be illogical, and perhaps that was what made Shizuo partly a monster, or perhaps it was simply he had too much heart that a man who cannot empathize with humans cannot understand, a man like Shinra. Shizuo was employed to protect the son of Orihara Suichiro, the money he should have gotten would be enough to get him a comfortable life to live in the future, though Shinra's reason for recommending Shizuo was obviously his and Izaya's similarities he never thought he would ever go through such lengths. Perhaps he underestimated his own friend.

Shinra sighs, "I guess that's your decision, and I can't stop you."

"What is it?"

Shinra chuckles, unfortunately it seems as if he isn't the only one who had gotten used with the expression of the other, Shizuo knows him this much too.

"Before you make your final decision of taking up again where you left off, I want to tell you about Izaya." Shinra said.

Shizuo watched quietly as Shinra stood from his seat and went to a small cabinet. When Shinra returned to his seat, he placed a notebook in the low table and slid it toward Shizuo.

"Open it." Shinra said.

The blonde started browsing through the pages, on the first page was a cut-out from a newspaper, the headlines were about a massive estate caught on fire killing the wife of the head of the family. On the next page were poorly written notes, among the scribbles of random words, Shizuo recognized the rare kanji combination among them— _Orihara Izaya seven years old_. Flipping through the next page, Shizuo found a page attached, in the attached paper was a portrait of a man he does not recognize. Underneath it was a name,  _Yodogiri,_ on the next page is a list of information regarding the Orihara family's cursed red eyes.

"What am I going to do with these?" Shizuo asked raising an eyebrow.

"The reason why Izaya needed constant protection is the trade for the red eyes." Shinra said. "I've told you about it, haven't I?"

Shizuo nodded.

"Years ago, Izaya wasn't born mute." Shinra said he reached to the notebook across the table and turned towards the page where a sketch of a woman is, her smile was familiar to Shizuo, it was the same as Izaya's. "That woman is Kyoko-san. She was Orihara-san's wife and Izaya and the twins' mother. She is a woman from a family of merchant which is how she is very knowledgeable, she has a lot of connections which brought her to somehow meet Orihara Suichiro, then they got married and the rest was history."

"W-What?"

"Kyoko-san died in a fire in the Orihara estate when Izaya was seven."

Shizuo felt his heart sunk at the information.

"The house was infiltrated by three men who set the house on fire using gasoline. Later they were killed by Orihara-san himself when he returned from a trip to find the whole estate burning and only the twins and the servants outside." Shinra explained, "However, when he came in the scene his wife was already dead. Izaya was the only one he got out."

"This…happened before?"

Shinra nodded, "I met Izaya after that."

Shinra remembered clearly the day he first took a step in the Orihara estate, his father took him with him saying that the patient might feel more at ease with a child around the same age as him. He remember the first time he saw Orihara Suichiro he was wearing mourning clothes and his eyes were like the saddest shade of black he had seen, like it had been robbed by everything. Then he saw Izaya for the first time sitting in the bed with most vibrant yet vacant eyes he had seen.

"His father called us because no one else would come to them whenever he said it was about his son fearing the curse of the blood red eyes of the Orihara that were said to bring misfortune." Shinra reached again to the notebook to show Shizuo his father's notes on Izaya's case. "Orihara-san didn't know why his perfectly abled son is reduced to a mute shut-in boy. There were no obvious reason why he became mute, his vocal chords are perfectly functional, there seems to be no head trauma that would have caused him to lose his ability to speak either."

Shizuo looked down on the notes tracing the ink and strokes of the characters on the page;

_Orihara Izaya(7)_

_Complaints: Sudden muteness_

_Vocal chords are fully functional, no blockage in air passage, responds to verbal command, auditory functions are well, no concussion or signs of head trauma._

_Congenital Muteness_ _no previous history/claims of muteness._

_Additional notes:_

_Hostility towards men, especially adults_

_Avoidance of physical contact_

_Loss of appetite and inattentiveness_

"I don't believe in curses Shizuo-kun." Shinra said calmly, "But I do believe that some humans can be worse than monsters."


	9. Fresh Burgundy

" _I don't believe in curses Suichiro-san."_

_Shinra heard his father say. The seven years old boy peeked from the door from the hallways to his father's room and found a tall man sitting across his father who sat with his back facing the door. The man who was wearing mourning clothes had a long black hair tied in a lose ponytail, his eyes were looking right at his father._

" _Many things outside our comprehension exist, but not curses." Shingen said quietly. "Your family is not cursed, nor is your son."_

" _Does this mean…"_

" _Yes." Shingen replied, "Let me see your son and we'll see what I can do."_

_The next day Shingen brought his son to new estate of the Orihara family, it was a quiet house with the air of grieving filling every corners of it. However unlike most children his age, Shinra had gone used to this kind of feeling, he was brought by his father to many things, and sometimes not all lives are saved, grief isn't something new to the seven years old boy anymore. They were greeted by the head of the estate himself, a man with eyes that were darker than black, despite his welcoming tone and smile, Shinra knew the man is nowhere near the face he is showing them._

_The man led them into the separated wing of the estate, unlike the rest of the house it has little to no attendants, and most of them were visibly only women. When they arrived to the room, Shinra was surprised to find a small boy inside the room, he was so skinny that his bones were almost visible through his skin, his clothes were slipping off his shoulders and his cheeks were almost hollow. He flinched the moment the door opened and quickly ran to the corner of the room cowering and glaring daggers at them._

" _This is my son I spoke to you of Kishitani-sensei."_

_The doctor nodded and tried to step into the room when suddenly the boy quickly backed away against the wall._

" _He showed hostility towards almost anyone except for his sisters…and sometimes female attendants." Suichiro said quietly. A flashed of sadness painted the man's expression. "He hasn't talked since…then."_

" _You assumed…he had gone mute?"_

_The man nodded, "He won't talk, or make sound, even when he cries, and he just cries there's no sound even when he moves his lips."_

_Shingen nodded and crossed his arms over his chest watching the boy._

" _Tell me exactly what happened."_

_The man looked at Shinra for a moment, a hint of hesitation in his expression._

" _Don't worry, he will be able to handle any kind of information he will hear," Shingen said putting a hand over his son's small head, "he is my successor, at this age, Shinra already understands vital information and the need for explicitly."_

_Suichiro nodded and took a deep breath as he close his eyes, his eyebrows knitted in a painful expression as if he was forcing a wound to open._

" _I was out of town due to a business of some sort, that night was due to return, however I did not inform my wife, I wanted to…surprise her, and my children." The man's hands clenched into a fist, and somehow Shinra felt the bloodlust radiating from him. "When I came, the whole estate was on fire, the attendants who managed to escape tried to put out the fire, amidst them I found my twin daughters safe…but I didn't find my eldest son, and my wife. Out of fear for their safety I went and rushed into the fire to look for them but I…I came there and my wife was dead, my son…in the hands of…three men."_

" _Did they do something to him?"_

_The man started trembling, "I-I don't know, he looked…scared, he was crying, one of those men were carrying him in his shoulders, laughing hysterically."_

_Shinra didn't need the man to say anything further for the boy to know what happened to those men, he was trembling in anger and his hands clenched into a fist supressing the bloodlust in him._

" _How were his clothes? Were they torn, did he have bruises in his body?"_

_Suichiro shook his head, "His clothes were slightly loosened but aside from that everything seems in its place, there were bruises in his arms, and around his neck but just that."_

_Shingen nodded before turning to Shinra who was now looking at boy cowering in the corner._

" _Would you want to help me this time Shinra?"_

_Shinra raised his head to look at his father._

" _Would you want to know what happened to him too?"_

_Shinra stared blankly at his father for a whole minute before opening his mouth to speak._

" _I like his eyes. They look alive."_

.

.

"Curses don't exist, only people who can be worse than monsters." Shinra said with a strong will, "Izaya had been through a lot of things, not because of his eyes, not because he was born as an Orihara, but instead because of others and their twisted views of beauty and fortune."

Shizuo's body trembled in disgust and anger. He felt something anger bubbling in his veins. He closed his eyes trying to calm himself down but instead he was plagued by images of random men grabbing a poor helpless child form of Izaya, a powerless innocent child trying to escape the grasps of the three adult men.

"It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his family's fault."

Shizuo shook his head, "It's not their fault." He repeated.

Shinra couldn't help but see the sympathy in the blonde's words, perhaps he wanted to tell that to himself too, to his parents as well, it wasn't their fault that he was born that way, it wasn't  _his_  fault.

"Since then I decided and devoted myself in finding out what made Izaya mute." Shinra confessed. Shinra would lie if he would say that it was because he saw Izaya as a friend, he saw Izaya then like a rare mystery, a strange and challenging riddle, he wanted to crack it himself. However, the more he knew about the brunette, the more he couldn't stop thinking that perhaps he is becoming the brunette's confidant. "I looked over everything that could tell me what happened that night, which led me to this conclusion…the fire that took down the estate four days ago, is exactly the same method that was used during the fire that killed Izaya-kun's mother."

"The…same?" Shizuo muttered, "Then, the person behind this is—"

Shinta nodded. "There is a huge possibility though I can't say for sure."

Shizuo slammed his hands against the table, "Then what are we doing here, what have you done about this?"

"We don't have enough evidence to tie anyone to it, as far as anyone would listen to you these are merely assumptions. Even Izaya-kun knows that."

Shizuo stood still in shock, Izaya had an idea who might be the one who had been trying to kill him, Izaya knew the name of the person possibly behind every misery and yet…Shizuo collapsed back in his seat utterly defeated. All the more Izaya probably feels utterly helpless, despite the fact that he knew, there was not enough to put the man in responsibility for all his pain.

"Fire is the best way to get rid of evidences, and the Suichiro-san killed the men that could have told him the name of the man behind it." Shinra said frankly. "They are stripping Izaya of every possible protection he could use, his home, his father and his family. They want him to be completely vulnerable when they take him. It's a smart strategy, and they are obviously going through lots of lengths for his eyes."

Shizuo gritted his teeth, "I'll fucking kill them all."

"Izaya wont let them anyways."

Shizuo's ears perked at the doctor's words, he looked up and found Shinra smiling.

"The thing about people, is they rise when you least expect them to." Shinra replied. "Izaya-kun won't let them have their way on him, I don't know if that is your influence or that is merely a fresh him, but one thing is for sure…he won't let them easily this time."

"What do you me—"

_Knock_

"Come in Celty." Shinra said as he turned his attention towards the door.

After all the years spending with the headless woman, Shinra had been able to tell her knock from everyone else's. As the door slid open the two were welcomed by the sight of Celty. The headless woman bowed to the two males, Shizuo bowed his head in return.

"I'm sorry for causing trouble." Shizuo said politely.

Celty waved her hand over her non-existent head before stepping into the room and closing the door before her. When she turned to the two, she took out her notepad and started scribbling words in them.

" _It's no problem, I'm just simply glad you're alright now."_ She wrote.

"Oh, then Izaya would be with you, correct?"

Shinra's question to the woman made Shizuo turned quickly at the physician, then to Celty.

" _No."_  Celty replied,  _"He remained in the okiya."_

Shizuo raised an eyebrow, " _Okiya_?! W-What is happening, why aren't—does this mean that you left Izaya  _alone?!"_

" _Calm down Shizuo-kun Izaya-kun is mere—"_

"Where is he?!" Shizuo asked quickly raising in his feet, "I need to be there, h-he will be scared with all the new faces and people."

Shinra noticed Celty writing a response, despite the absence of face, the doctor already knew what the woman would be saying. Shinra raised his hand at Celty stopping her from continue trying to calm the blonde down, it is no use, besides, it would be better if Shizuo would know it himself.

"Karisawa-san helped him a few days ago to get into an  _okiya_. It's the one run by Kujiragi-san." Shinra reached for a small parchment and started scribbling the address on it. The doctor pushed the paper towards Shizuo.

Without saying anything further, Shizuo snatched the paper from the table and rushed outside muttering a small excuse to Celty. Shinra watched as Shizuo's figure disappeared from his sight.

" _Are you sure that is alright? Maybe you should have informed you before you let him ran off."_

"No, nothing can stop Shizuo-kun. He and Izaya-kun are the same in that sense."

.

.

He couldn't feel the pain his limbs, he couldn't feel the ache in his rib and cough in his throat, his body reeled fast and angry at the thought of the brunette alone in some place, in an  _okiya_  of all places. He remember how Izaya would grip the sleeves of his clothes the first time they left the estate, his heart raced at that thought. He ran fast ignoring the looks he was getting from the people, he probably looked pale and sickly but he didn't mind.

He stopped at the familiar house, he didn't even bothered to read the sign on the door and slammed it open. The door almost got pulled out of its frame with the force of the blonde. The woman standing behind the door all looked at Shizuo with wide eyes. However despite the horrified looks on their faces and the beautiful clothes and red lips, the blonde's eyes only searched for one face.

"I-Izaya." Shizuo called with a hoarse voice, a cough coming up in his throat. "W-Where is Izaya?"

The women all looked at Shizuo and backed away, they all turned to each other whispering about.

"Heiwajima-san?"

Blinking, Shizuo turned towards the source of the voice. His eyes widen at the sight of the familiar girl, olive pale skin, and dark chocolate hair chopped just slight above her shoulders, a beautifully shaped eyes that were perfect combination of cold and feeling. She wore a red kimono adorned with small white flowers and orange patterns of smoke and clouds from the hem of the skirt and sleeves paired with a white and gold  _obi_.

"R-Ruri." Shizuo called the girl's name.

He remember her face well, in a very rare occasion that he got to see his brother, he brought a beautiful girl with him whom he introduced to him as his lover. Hijiribe Ruri an  _odoriko_.

The girl bowed her head politely, "Welcome to the  _okiya._  Is there anything I could help you with Heiwajima-san?"

The blonde blinked and turned to the others, the women started backing away more, their eyes on Ruri this time. The girl did had a very similar atmosphere to Shizuo's brother, quiet, mysterious and downright cold most of the time. However, surely his brother wouldn't simply take anyone just by their looks, even if Ruri is beautiful if her heart is not kind she wouldn't have gotten along with Kasuka.

"Izaya. I-Is there someone here with that name?" Shizuo said. "H-He has a short black hair a-and really stand out eyes, h-he's kinda skinny too, a-about—"

"Oh." Ruri said interrupting Shizuo. "I think I do know, Orihara-san, right?"

Shizuo felt a thorn was pulled out of his chest when Ruri replied with such calmness. Her ability to remain calm is contagious, almost similar to Kasuka's ability to calm Shizuo down by his stoic voice.

"Please follow me." Ruri said quietly. "I'm sure  _Okaa-san_ wont mind."

Shizuo quietly followed the girl. For all those time, he never bothered to ask the girl where she resides, or where she performs. Shizuo never really had the eyes for arts like his brother, he barely cared about visiting any  _okiya_ before. It never passed him. Kasuka didn't went on full details about how they met, not that Shizuo mind though, he respected his younger brother's decision to keep some details out of him. Kasuka is smart enough not to get into something he is not sure of.

As they close into small shed, Shizuo could hear something, it was slowly getting louder as they come closer—a sound of drum. Despite the lack of knowledge of the blonde with music and arts, he knows when the drum is simply being struck randomly or is it being played, Shizuo is sure it was the latter. The blonde remember this music, he had heard of it before when once the man he worked for paid for a court dance for a small banquet.

Ruri stops just right before the shed and knocks on the door.

" _Okaa-san,_ someone wishes to speak with you."

The door quickly opens and Ruri bows her head, standing by the door is a very beautiful geisha, with dazzling clothing and makeup. Shizuo blinked and decided to bow his head as well.

"No men are allowed in the  _Okiya_ , have you forgotten?" The older female said in a small hushed voice.

"I have not." Ruri answered quickly, "However he had welcomed himself in, I am very sure that if I have not escorted Heiwajima-san here things would have been more complicated for us."

The geisha looked at Shizuo with an unreadable expression, however her blank expression turned into complete shock when she saw the blonde hair of the man. The geisha quickly docked her head to Shizuo.

"H-Heiwajima S-Shizuo-san!" The woman greeted, "F-Forgive me, I-I did not realize!"

"No matter, I just need to talk to the head of this  _Okiya._ " Shizuo replied, he didn't like getting passed over and over, he just need to see that Izaya is alright, is that too difficult for the world to give him?

"O-Of course, p-please come in!" The geisha said as she moved aside to give way to the blonde.

Shizuo sighs and walks in with Ruri behind him. When they step into the shed, Shizuo realized it is must be where the women practice their dances. The high ceiling and pristine floorboards almost looked like a dojo to him. The sound of the drum resounded even louder as the geisha closed the door behind them.

Shizuo and Ruri followed the geisha without tearing their eyes from her back, with everything that happened in the past few days Shizuo couldn't help but to put his guards up.

"Okaa-san, someone is here for you."

As the geisha bows her head and steps aside followed by Ruri, Shizuo was welcomed by the sight of a dark haired woman in a pale yellow kimono accented with a red obi, her long and wavy haired is tied in a bun with red chrysanthemum. She is sitting in a dark blue cushion with one of her hand holding a folding fan and the other resting in her lap, her posture looked like she had a flat board tied in her back, while her eyes were staring straight ahead. Kujiragi, the owner of the  _Lotus House_

"I'm sorry for intruding, I am looking for—"

"Raise your right hand higher, watch your left foot."

_Blag_

Shizuo gasped as he heard someone falling, turning to where Kujiragi is looking he found a figure slumped on the floor, wearing a vibrant scarlet kimono. His eyes widen at the sight. The drum stopped playing.

"Start from the very beginning."

The figure slowly stood up, head first hung low, in those small and slender hand is a black red folding fan. Then the music started playing again, and Shizuo couldn't believe what he is seeing. He had seen a court dance before, but nothing compared from the grace and elegance he sees that very moment. Every step, every movement was as if dictated by the wind itself. he could hear the beating of the drum with the figure's very movement. Then, with a graceful movement the figure turns towards them, with a beauty that could rival the sunset's glory, with eyes cunningly beautiful like the flowers that leads you to the underworld, and skin so white like the cold snow of winter.

"Izaya."

Izaya stopped and the fan slips his hand, his eyes wide at the sight before him. Shizuo is standing there before him, his amber eyes wide open. A loud sound resounded again in his chest after so many days, as if some electricity found it's way there waking it up in ways the brunette have not imagine. His lips quivered at the sight of the blonde running towards him.

It really is him.

"You little fucker!" Shizuo exclaimed as he dashed towards the brunette who is staring at him with eyes wide as a platter.

Without thinking much the blonde encased the small body in his arms. He was filled with the urgency to make sure this is not merely an illusion. And oh how that warmth felt so real. Orihara Izaya is alive, and well, and he's there right in his arms, the proof that he is capable of saving at least  _one._

"Where have you been? I woke up and you were not there! Why are you alone here? Have you gone out of your mind?"

Izaya hated being held, Izaya hates loud people, obnoxious and inconsiderate pea-brained people, Izaya hates Shizuo, and yet…his heart clenched at the warmth of the blonde, he didn't want to cry anymore but his whole soul felt like it was being forced to show everything to the blonde. It isn't fair that someone could have so much hold in him.

The brunette trembled, and melted in those arms, without realizing it he had gripped the back of Shizuo's clothes burying his small face in the crook of his shoulder. Somehow despite losing the whole estate, he could still feel so safe, so at home in those strong arms saying, swearing to protect him. After so many days of trying to be strong, for his sister, for Shinra and Celty, for the stupid air-headed blonde who decided his life is less than the lives of others, finally he could be weak again and not feel so vulnerable.

"I'm back." Shizuo whispered. "Sorry it must have been…hard."

Izaya wants to burst out and cry right then, he could feel Shizuo's words cutting through his thick layer of defences, reaching down at his very insides and revealing all those smallness that he is, all his weakness and flaws. It was hard, it was very difficult, every day it felt like an invisible knife carving n his skin, he wanted to cry but he can't, not anymore, his father is gone and his sisters are in danger with him, the people who wants him could be anywhere, they are ready to take on everything that he has, to take unimaginable risks just to take him. Every day he would be plagued with fear that it might be the last time he get to see his sisters, or Shinra and Celty, and as hard it was to admit Shizuo as well. Every day it was difficult to look at Shizuo and see everything his existence caused, Shizuo is the living proof of his misfortune, all the burns and wounds, the paleness of his skin, his utter and complete mess that he causes.

Everyone always gets wounded and hurt because of him, because he couldn't protect himself, because he is too scared to fight for them. All he ever do is run away, all he ever did is to hide and seclude himself. He had been selfish and naïve, too dependent, that was why people only get hurt, people who only wish for his happiness.

It is time he does something for others, it's time for him to protect the ones he values, the few things he has.

Shizuo broke the hug and quickly placed his hands on the brunette's arms holding his eyes right at those crimson eyes.

"What are you doing here all alone? Why didn't you wait for me to wake?"

Izaya turned away unable to pull the right words. Unlike speaking to Shinra and Celty, saying his reasons to Shizuo didn't feel comfortable at all, especially with the look he is giving the brunette.

"He is here to learn the arts." Kujiragi's voice breaks the moment. Shizuo instinctively pulled Izaya to his back.

"Learn, what?"

"Arts, music, dance, poetry, and all such." Kujiragi answered as she stood up from her seat. She quietly approached the two, despite her blank expression she reeked of something Shizuo couldn't quite put a finger on. "It is necessary to be a great entertainer."

"E-Enter—What?" Shizuo asked with confusion, he turned to Izaya and the brunette merely looked away.

"Why would you do that?" he asked Izaya, "And besides this is an  _Okiya_ , men aren't—"

"No one has to know." Kujiragi said with a voice firm like a sword's blade. "Orihara-kun has very delicate and beautiful features that can rival that of a woman, even with how he is currently, it would be easy to mistake him for a woman, he has the grace and elegance due to his upbringing, he knows the basic of music and poetry, it won't be that hard to teach him."

"That is not the matter!" Shizuo exclaimed.

Kujiragi was about to explain further but stopped midway, she paused and stares at the glaring eyes of the blonde young man. She did remember Karisawa Erika mentioning about a former mercenary who was assigned to take care of Orihara Izaya, a man who almost lost his life trying to get the rest of the Orihara family to safety, on his own. She can see it, he speaks the truth, it does not really matter to him whether or not it would be difficult for Izaya to handle, he worries for something else, something that runs deeper.

"It is his choice." Kujiragi decided to say. "It is time for him to take the bull by its horns. The first step is finding out about the world."

Shizuo shook his head and turned again to Izaya, "No, that is nonsense, I swore to protect  _you_  there is no need for this!"

Izaya pursed his quivering his lips, and the first words he said to the blonde after waking up swept a storm in Shizuo's soul.

" _Then…what about you…who would protect you?"_  Izaya signed making Shizuo's eyes widen, " _It's difficult, being so powerless, having…having to just look and not being able to do anything."_

"This  _okiya_ can provide him with protection from any other males because such presence is not allowed here. During his practices it would only be me and the women who will be able to see him. When he learns and finally get used to interaction with people, he will be able to go about by himself." Kujiragi explained, "He will not be any ordinary performer, he will only be allowed to performer for our best patrons."

"What?" Shizuo exclaimed, "Do you know how fucking dangerous is that, the people who wants him  _dead_  may be one of your patrons and—"

"If one of our performers drops dead it wont be a small matter." Kujiragi's voice resounded like a hiss of venomous snake ready to snap on it's prey. "They know that much, laying a hand on my  _children_  will cost great for them. It is Orihara-kun's big opportunity to find information on the people who killed his father."

Shizuo stares hard at Kujiragi, "What is it for you?"

"Money." Kujiragi stated simply, "I would place high money on him, by that patrons would be curious, court performances are simply showing off that you can afford such entertainments for your guests, people with money would do everything to show the world their fortune, and they would take on the bait. When they do, the money will be given to me, and Orihara-kun might get the information he needs from them."

"You—"

"The world has a give-and-take system Heiwajima-san. If that is not your world you might be living with a parasite, it's either you are the host or you are the parasite."

"Shut up I can't—"

" _No!"_ Izaya signed at Shizuo,  _"It is my decision! I want to know, I want to see it for myself! I want to know why they need me, who needs me, I want to make the person who made me the way I am pay!"_

"You don't have to do that." Shizuo answered.

" _I am sick and tired of people fighting for my battle, this is_ _ **my**_ _fight, not yours or anyone, it is time I stand for myself, it's time I stop being afraid."_ Izaya replied.

Shizuo was dumbfounded, his eyes couldn't believe what he is seeing, there is something new, brave and…wise about the way Izaya's eyes were shining. It was so mesmerizingly beautiful, more beautiful than it ever were.

" _Let me learn to fight my monsters."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okiya- there is are differences between an Okiya and an Oiran, an Okiya are where geisha, and maiko lives and train their arts, usually men are not allowed-it's a place ruled by women. The owner of the Okiya is called Okaa-san.
> 
> Male Geisha- There is such thing, and I want to make an emphasis that Izaya would be not be a taikomochi. He would be more like Eitaro-san(the male geisha).
> 
> Odoriko- means DANCING GIRL, they are mostly teenagers who dances for entertainment.


	10. Auburn Dances

For many days and nights, the meals had felt nothing like dull, a curtain of silence would draw between them and heavy air would always force one of them to finish the food, usually it was Izaya. But tonight the room looked brighter, the food seemed more appetizing, this fact made the dark haired doctor smile to himself. Despite whatever the brunette sitting across him would say he knows the other felt a lot better that Shizuo woke up.

However the satisfaction in Izaya's eyes didn't seem to equal Shizuo's.

Shinra continues to eat his dinner in silence watching the two. Shizuo ate in silence looking only at his food, he could feel something akin to frustration radiating from the other, the doctor knows that the brunette next to Shizuo could feel the said aura but decided not to say something about it.

" _H-How was the food?"_ Celty decided to ask to break the deafening silence.

Shizuo finally raised his head to read the headless woman's words in her notepad. Shizuo placed his chopsticks in it's holder and bowed his head politely at the other.

"It was delicious, thank you." he said.

Izaya quickly turned to the other, reading his expression. Shinra wondered if Shizuo knew the way the other looked at him.

" _Do you want a second serving perhaps?"_ Celty asked.

Shinra almost found himself chuckling at Celty's attempt to remove the awkwardness between the two. The headless woman despite being a strange creature, a non-human entity, could perceive human emotions and expressions probably better than humans. Perhaps it is due to the time she had spent with the humans.

"Thank you I will appreciate that." Shizuo replied.

Celty practically nodded before dashing to Shizuo's side to fill the blonde's bowl with rice. The blonde turned away to look at Celty. It is becoming obvious that the other is avoiding to look at Izaya.

"Tomorrow you will start working for Kujiragi-san, right?" Shinra said to Izaya, making the brunette turn to him.

Izaya nodded as he placed his chopsticks in its holder with careful gestures. He placed his hands over his lips chewing the last bits of his food before removing them and nodding to Izaya. His manners had been obviously more refined.

" _Yes, I am asked to perform for a small banquet in an estate in Edo."_  Izaya answered with his hands.

Shinra didn't miss the way Shizuo's shoulders stiffen.

"Is that so?" Shinra replied, "You must be nervous then?"

" _Nervous? Such a funny thing to say to me."_  Izaya replied with his usual smirk.

Shinra smiled back, "A few days ago you were hiding behind Karisawa-san's back when you arrived at the  _okiya_."

Izaya's smirk turned into a gape, his cheeks dusted in pink of embarrassment.

" _S-Such nonsense!"_

Shinra remembers the first time he and Izaya talked about the idea. At first Shinra thought it would be impossible, for someone like Izaya even the simplest chore such as sweeping would take hours, for him to be accustomed to normal commoner life would be asking a fish to learn how to walk. It was both a stupid idea and a complete utter waste of time. However, for Izaya to be able to protect the things he still have right now, he must learn to survive  _alone_ , even if that sounds cruel for Shizuo.

Both Shinra and Izaya know that relying on Shizuo all the time for Izaya's safety is not always the best option. Right then, they were not sure that Shizuo would still want to remain with his service to protect the brunette when he wakes up, if he doesn't Izaya would have to take on the world all by himself, if he does Izaya couldn't have himself relying everything on the blonde. It wasn't as if Shinra doesn't trust Shizuo's ability to protect Izaya, but he knows that bounding Izaya to Shizuo is not healthy for both.

The world is a dangerous place to remain ignorant, a gloved hand touching the snow will never find itself immune to it's coldness.

Shinra remembers the first hesitant steps the brunette took outside the doctor's humble home, the doctor found himself so proud to see how strong Izaya's will were. He is so frightened yet so determined, truly this is courage. Shinra knew then that it was Izaya's first time walking outside without Shizuo by his side, he must have felt vulnerable, frail and exposed without the other standing behind him, talking to ease his nervousness, yet he remained firm with his resolve.

It was the only they could both think of, a quick and very efficient way to get there.

Kujiragi is the owner of one of the most famous okiya in the town, she is also known to have numerous patrons in the higher social ranks. People who might know something about the trade of cursed eyes of the Orihara.

It only makes sense.

However, not everyone is happy about the progress of the matter.

"I'm done."

Shinra and Izaya stop and turn to Shizuo who muttered thanks to the Gods before bowing his head and standing up. Excusing himself the blonde quietly left the room closing the door behind him.

Izaya's expression quickly fell.

"He's upset."

" _No shit, of course he is."_ Izaya signed at Shinra, his snarky remark didn't seem to fail him but his expression betrayed him.

"It affects you." Shinra replied. "I can see it."

It was a fact, despite how much the brunette would deny it, the hard grip he has on his chopsticks said it all. The brunette pursed his lips, his hands started trembling. The brunette felt his hands go numb with all the emotions seeping in his skin. Izaya is used to hiding his true thoughts under the mask of bitterness, hostility and sarcasm, however this rarely work in Shinra.

"It upsets him because he worries." Shinra said simply.

" _He should stop. I can no longer have him around."_

"It's his decision to stay, just as it is your decision to work for the  _okiya_."

" _That's not the point."_  Izaya signed, his hands were slow. Shinra could practically hear his tone.

"I know what you mean." Shinra said with a sigh, "Shizuo is not doing this out of pity."

" _Then what for? I can't pay for his services, he should just…leave me alone."_

"We both know you don't mean that." Shinra said in a soft voice. "Among the people in this room, we all know that you are the one who could not have a world without Shizuo."

Izaya's hands clench into a first and he retract them to put it in his lap, a very vain attempt to hide his true feelings. He knows the truth himself though, Shinra knows this as well. The brunette couldn't help but fear the day Shizuo would have to leave him, the most practical and reasonable thing for him to do in this situation. Izaya is dangerous for him, and truthfully there really is no reason for him to stay anymore.

"You want to convince yourself that Shizuo is better off without you, that it is alright for him to leave because that is what is right, but truly you don't want that, am I correct?" Shinra said looking at Izaya and his expression.

Despite the harsh words, Shinra had seen it all, he had seen the way he looked at Shizuo all those days the blonde has not shown signs of waking. Izaya currently have nothing that connects him to the rest of the world, his father is dead, his sisters sent to another home in his effort to pull them away from the harms he causes, unconsciously he wants to cling to Shizuo's figure seeing him as a sense of security and connection, yet at the same time the other knew it is not right.

"You are not entirely wrong." Shinra adds making the brunette lower his head. "You are right, for someone like Shizuo you are dangerous, you attract violence and Shizuo hates violence. For years it has been something he had tried to run away from, you pull the need to use force from him. You don't know how to be grateful for him for that, you make everything harder for him…but it is not your decision to make if he wants to stay with you or not."

" _You should have stopped him. You are his friend."_

"I am his friend and that is why I didn't stop him."

Izaya raised his head and stares at the dark haired doctor.

"It is the same with your decision. I am merely another outsider and to meddle with your decisions is not my business." Shinra answered. "Do you understand, Izaya-kun?"

Izaya nodded.

"This is the real world, people would not always take the most logical option, and there are other things that influence their decisions. Sometimes they hurt themselves in the process and that doesn't really matter, as long the ones they value are alright." Shinra explained. "Humans are greedy creatures, sometimes they put in line numerous things just for the sake of one thing, a goal, a treasure, or a person."

Shinra closes his eyes contemplating his own words. Humans are very selfish creatures, they are greedy and in constant need to be assured, and sometimes they go through lengths just to have that one thing they desired the most perhaps even of the expense of the feelings of that one thing they desired the most. He knows his love is just like this as well, he opens his eyes to glance at Celty who is sitting in the corner of the room with his usual black dress. Nobody would understand, love has many faces, it masks itself with concern, sometimes with feelings of protectiveness, but in truth at the other side of love there is possession, need, destructiveness.

He understood Shizuo's decision to stay, even if he couldn't really say that the blonde feels that strongly for Izaya, the blonde's desire to protect even if it destroys him is something Shinra understood. If it meant that he would be with Celty he would be willing to sell his soul to the fairy of death.

.

.

.

Shizuo sat leaning in the wall, he is awake, he couldn't possibly sleep. He look down in his hands, despite having so much strength in those muscles, he felt powerless in the current light of the situations. He promised to protect Izaya with all that he has and yet the brunette made a decision before him, a situation where he couldn't be there, where he couldn't see him. He want to believe in Izaya's ability to protect himself, to change and be comfortable with the rest of the world and somehow still he worries.

What would he do, what will the people say about him, what if something happens and he isnt there to protect him? Shizuo asked himself over and over, his head is filled with voices, arguing, trying to reason the other out. Perhaps there is no answer.

" _Let me fight these monsters myself!"_

Shizuo didn't want anything but for Izaya to be able to stand in his own feet too but…the world truly is a frightening place for the likes of them. He simply didn't want him to go through anything painful, it was as if the world had been cruel enough to him, there is no need for him to suffer further.

The blonde lets a sigh escape his lips, he doesn't remember how long he has been in his room. He has no idea what to tell Izaya, he could not possibly find a way to mask his expression, his frustration. Even if he understands Izaya's reason it doesn't mean he agrees with it.

"Who is there?"

Shizuo turned to the door feeling the presence approaching, he blinked at the familiar shadow behind his door. The blonde blinks, what is Izaya doing in his room? Shizuo sat still thinking of what he should do, should he get up and let him in or should he let him stay there until he gets tired and leave later on?

The blonde was surprised to find the brunette standing still there outside in the cold. Out of concern and curiosity, Shizuo stood from his seat and went to answer his door.

His eyes widen at the sight before him.

Izaya bows his head in a graceful manner, he is wearing a beautiful black kimono decorated with images of storks and a silhouette of a town behind it, the whole article of clothing is tied with a powder blue  _obi_. His skin glows in the light of the moon in the sky behind him like ivory, and his lips though are thin were painted in the color of roses. A lone red rose made of expensive ceramic is pinned in his black hair with a golden chain accenting the item.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Shizuo asked raising an eyebrow at the other. "Why are you dressed like that?"

A quiet sigh escapes Izaya's lips as the brunette raises the tray in his hand. Shizuo steps back, the blonde looks at the tray containing all plate of sweets and a traditional tea. He finds himself stepping aside and letting Izaya in his room.

Watching Izaya slowly walks in his room, the blonde notices the careful steps of the brunette, his footsteps has become even lighter almost like a cat's. There is strength in his limbs now too, something he didn't notice he possess before, he looked frail then, he suspects it is the result of the brunette's stay in the  _okiya_  and the practices.

The brunette placed the tray in the low table in the middle of the room carefully before turning to Shizuo.

" _Close the door."_  He signs to the blonde.

Shizuo despite unsure of the other's intention did just as what the brunette asked before walking towards the brunette.

" _You should take a sit."_ Izaya signs again.

"What are you doing here?" Shizuo asks as he takes a seat across the brunette in the low table.

Izaya doesn't answer and instead started preparing the tea. Shizuo had seen this ceremony before but he had never been a part of it, his previous contractors who were high in the social ranks would usually participate in tea ceremonies while he would stay behind watching if something would go out of hand. He watches the graceful movements of Izaya, his nimble hands as he mixes the tea in the cup, his eyes were soft and relax. He remember the first time he saw the brunette, for a second he had mistaken him for a woman, somehow it all came back to him, he looked just like a fine lady with modesty and grace, a lady born in high court.

The brunette turns the cup before offering it Shizuo, with his head lowered.

Shizuo purses his lips wondering what could be going in Izaya's mind right then, with hesitant hands the blonde took the cup and turns it as well before bowing his head—a common courtesy—before taking a sip of the bitter tea. Shizuo pulled away from the cup with a frown, he really hates bitter things.

"You haven't answered me." Shizuo started as he placed the cup back to the tray.

" _I am trying to convince you."_  Izaya answers.

"That you can make tea?"

Izaya sighs quietly again, he shakes his head ever so lightly before standing up. Shizuo tries his best not to stare much at the brunette who looks even more beautiful than all  _geisha_  he had seen before despite lacking the usual huge head dresses, elaborate hair ornaments, and heavy white make up. He stood there looking at Shizuo with his crimson eyes that looks just like the blood moon. His posture showed no signs of the previous frightened brunette he once met, he pulls himself like a very confident performer knowing just every step and breathe he takes.

Without a warning Izaya starts moving, Shizuo finds his throat dry at the sight. He is dancing. His eyes trail and follow the very gentle and elegant movements of his hands and limbs. Every turn and twist made him look like a black sparrow, a very exotic beauty that nature seems to be hiding from the rest of the world. There is no music and yet Shizuo could practically hear the rhythm in the other's movements. His eyes would sometimes steal him a glimpse as if telling him to look only at him, to watch every step, every single movement to which Shizuo is unable to resist.

He watches him, completely awestruck. Everything is quiet, the only thing he could hear is the beating of his heart. It is as if he was bewitched.

Then Izaya stops, ending his short performance.

He looks at Shizuo whose amber eyes were still burning right at him.

" _I am confident that I can carry myself out there."_ Izaya signs at Shizuo who blinks out of his trance.  _"It would be difficult but I must do this."_

Shizuo's amusement of the brunette's performance fell as he found himself thinking of the people who would see Izaya. He doesn't doubt Izaya's abilities, however, what he doubts are the people. He wants Izaya to be comfortable in the outside world but at the same time he worries that he would be too comfortable with it. There are vermin out there, and the man who wants Izaya could be any of those people, when that time comes, and he isn't there to protect him it would be his failure again.

"I understand." Shizuo said in a quiet voice. "I actually wish I don't."

Izaya stares at Shizuo for a second and everything suddenly made sense. Shinra's words to him previously rushed to him, when he asked Izaya not to be hard on the blonde. He really is more similar to him than he thought. Both of them were persecuted for being  _strange_ , however unlike him Shizuo has no option to run away, there was nowhere he could hide himself. He grew up facing the harsh words of the people, he grew up having to be strong even if it hurts him the most.

No one was there to protect him.

People left him alone.

What once killed him inside is what made this man strong, just like how the same boiling water that softens a potato hardens an egg.

" _We both know the truth."_  Izaya signs to him before walking towards the blonde and sitting beside the table, and facing the blonde.

Shizuo doesn't want to face that truth. He wants to believe that he can do this, even  _just_  one. The blonde's hands in his lap trembled.

" _You can't always protect me."_

Shizuo feels like a bitter medicine is forced down his throat. He shuts his eyes tightly.

"The world out there…I don't want you to see it like that." Shizuo said as he opens his eyes and look at the brunette.

" _Nobody else can save me if I don't save myself first."_  Izaya replies. He looks at Shizuo and his eyes, for a second he found a crying child in his eyes, alone and filled with small cuts, nobody had spare him a look in fear of him. He simply doesn't want him to go through the things he did once.

For the first time Izaya found himself looking at Shizuo without all his defences, a scarred and bruised soul too tired to complain to the world of the misery it placed in him. These things are what fuel the warmth in his eyes, the warmth he uses to save others from the coldness and indifference of the world and the judgement of the society.

" _No one…else would have done that."_

" _When you are strong people expects that you can haul your ass off trouble yourself. That you don't need help from others."_

People always depend on him, on Heiwajima Shizuo, but he had no one to depend on. People expect him to be able to carry himself at all times, no one ever bothered to ask him if he is alright, no one ever jumped after him, or ran after him, no one ever offered him a hand. He sees the world in that color and yet he refuses paint it that way. He fought it by becoming exactly the opposite of what the people saw him to be.

For that reason, for the reason that he doesn't want Izaya to hate the world he wants to stop him.

Indeed, he is selflessly stupid sometimes.

" _For as long as you live, even if I would want to hate the world I know that you will stop me."_ Izaya signs to the blonde.  _"You've been doing that since you came to the estate, you thought I wouldn't notice?"_

And for the first time in a long time, Izaya took someone's hand in his, he felt the callouses in Shizuo's hand. This is the hand that saved him to the point of almost meeting with death.

Izaya decided to omit the words in his mind.

_How could I hate the world…when you are my world now?_


	11. Bloodshot Tune

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers to your ear*  
> Plot twist anyone? *winks*

Shinra hums idly to himself as he quietly watches Shizuo in the porch of his humble adobe, the sound of Shizuo's wooden sword slicing through the thin air could make anyone pull away in horror. It has been a while since he has seen Shizuo practice, the blonde insisted in moving around arguing he was feeling more ill not moving his body. Normally it would be a very bad idea for someone who was injured with some broken bones and burns to move around this much but then again Shizuo is not what many would call normal.

The bespectacled doctor guesses it is the blonde's way of keeping his mind off the current turn of things. He knows how much Izaya's decision does not sit well with the other, knowing how stubborn Shizuo it even made the doctor wondered how Izaya even convinced him.

"Please refrain from destroying the garden." Shinra says as he notices Shizuo's grip in his wooden sword.

One may call a quiet monster as calm, but Shinra new better, a quiet monster is a thinking monster, and a thinking monster is more frightening. Izaya is both good and bad influence to Shizuo, he is thinking now but that meant he is always on the edge, always ready to strike now.

"Tell me something." Shizuo says as he pulls back, he takes a deep breath and turns to Shinra, "Where did Izaya go?"

Shinra chuckles, "You sound accusing Shizuo-kun."

"Don't bullshit me." Shizuo said before securing the wooden sword in his obi, he turns and fully face the raven haired doctor. "You took care of Izaya since you were kids, I know for one you wouldn't just leave him with someone. You know at least something."

Shinra sighs in defeat, it is no use keeping anything from someone like Shizuo, especially now that his first priority is Izaya.

"He's going to the capital." Shinra says, "They're heading to a banquet that will be held in an important person's house. The head of that household has only emerged a few years ago, it has raised many people's suspicion but instead of bring that household down, the new head built a faction strong enough to be recognized by the shogun himself.

There is little known to the new head of that household, he is rarely seen as well but he is known to know  _many_  things because of his connections."

Shizuo's eyebrows furrows, "I still don't see what kind of man he is."

"He is young and manipulative, he might not look like it but he can stab you in the neck with a knife without hesitation." Shinra answers.

Shinra being an underground doctor who dealt with the dirty little things most people would rather have rot and die, he met with a lot of people, almost  _all_  kinds of them. And though he hasn't  _personally_  met the shogun, he had seen him work, he had seen his men and if they are worth fearing for. If he is as said  _very_  young then he is a force to be reckoned with.

"That kind of person is—"

"He won't hurt Izaya unless he does something worth the action for." Shinra says. "And Izaya is not stupid, he won't do anything that will aggravate him."

Shizuo chews his lower lip. Even if he did want to trust Izaya with all he has with his decision, there was a strange concern for him that fills him. Every second that the thought of danger to Izaya's life comes to his mind he would be reminded of the things Shinra told him, the expression of fear in Izaya's face during the fire and during the one time someone threatened him.

He understands his reasons, he does. But…

The bespectacled doctor stands up and walks towards the blonde who is still looking at him hard.

"He will be fine." Shinra says as he puts a hand on his friend's shoulder.

Shizuo tries to convince himself just as that.

* * *

Izaya looks at himself in the full length mirror. He sports a scarlet kimono adorned with white lilies from the hems up to the waist, the robe is tied in a peach  _obi_  and paired with a black  _hakama_. His short hair is neatly combed and adorned with a bright red chrysanthemum in the left of his head. A tint of red colors his lips and his eyes were painted in a delicate makeup.

However underneath the masks of confidence and grace, he is a trembling mess.

His heart is beating loudly against his chest, his breathe is coming in shallow. He has never been away this far away. The unfamiliar territory doesn't help him at all, however Shizuo believed him. It would be wasted in him if he cowers right now.

"Are you ready?"

Izaya nods without looking. Even without looking he knows already who it is. Kujiragi walks to him quietly, her hair is tied in a bun and wears a yellow kimono with green ascents.

"You look wonderful as expected." Kujiragi says. She looks at him through the mirror, "Are you nervous."

Izaya raises his hand gesturing an answer,  _"No."_

Kujiragi doesn't but it. However, a lie often told becomes truth and she lets it slide.

"Alright, the guests will come soon. Come with me now."

Izaya nods and follows Kujiragi out of the room. The manor is big, however somehow it has a strange eerie feeling from it. There weren't enough life in the rooms, as if there were secrets lurking in them. The halls though are manned by attendants and guards looked lonely. This made Izaya wonder what kind of man the shogun is. He imagined an old man, strict and uptight or a middle aged man that has fought in many battles, he had a permanent frown in his face and his eyes are cold.

When they arrived at the banquet room everything is set. Izaya notes two  _maiko_  in the side probably to pour the guests tea and serve them food.

Kujiragi takes Izaya in the front of the room and aids him to settle down. As soon as Izaya has sat down she stakes the  _koto_  and hands it to him.

"Do not do anything harsh." Kujiragi whispers to Izaya's ear before rousing and walking quietly to the side of the room.

Izaya waits quietly in the room, hands preparing to pluck the strings. He plays the music in his mind rewinding the exact notes. He imagines a soft tune, perfect for a quiet dinner making room for conversations between people. Yes, exactly just as that.

Izaya closes his eyes when he hears the door opens. The maiko greets the guests, and Izaya opens his eyes at the exact moment he hears and feels their weight sinking on the floor and cushion. He doesn't look at them too long, one of them looks very young, he has a dark hair and wears a light blue kimono paired with a white  _hakama,_ the second one is a man wearing a black kimono pulled slightly to reveal his chest which is bandaged, Izaya also notes the scar on the man's eyes, the man who sat next to the young man in the blue hakama is a foreigner, he has blonde hair but much lighter than Shizuo's.

Izaya keeps his head low as the maiko starts pouring the guests their tea. Izaya raises his head earning the attention of the guest before making a curt bow to them, and he looks to his instrument and he starts playing.

"So what, are we just gonna sit here and look pretty?" The man with the scar says.

"Be patient." The foreigner says in a heavily accented voice. "However I still do not know the reason why we are here."

"I know." The youngest of the group says. The two looks at him. "The fire at the manor, the shogun is greatly disturbed of it."

Izaya takes note of the conversation however he expertly hides his expression. His father is an influential man with too many connections, people knows him from all over the prefecture, even probably the whole land, it is common for people to talk about him and his family especially people who has the same standing as him. He must not be swayed.

"Ha, I'd be damned they could have been friends." The man with the scar says.

"Orihara- _sama_  is a very  _great_  informant, he has provided reliable information that proved beneficial to  _us_." The foreigner says. Izaya notes the formality in his voice demonstrates being used to formal gatherings and discussions. "I am saying we have lost someone of high value."

"The bad news is nobody  _can_  replace him."

The room fell in silence, the only sound is Izaya's continues playing. He plucks the strings delicately and gracefully, he doesn't show a bit of his own thoughts.

His father is irreplaceable, that is the truth.

Izaya plays, he looks up to his listeners. A performer connects with his audience, no successful performer plays solely for himself. Art is shared. However when Izaya raised his head, his eyes are met with the youngest of the group, boring right at him. And Izaya misses a tune.

At the exact moment he finds the person standing and coming towards him. Izaya doesn't show any signs of panic, he tries to conceal his fear for the charging stranger just as he has kept his cool the whole time. He studies his eyes, his body, his lips and his jaw. He's not angry, he's not happy either or upset, something mixed of shock, confusion and recognition. And he reaches to Izaya who finally flinches away hands leaving his instrument.

"Aoba!"

Izaya hears the man with the scar calls the approaching man, Izaya tries to back away but Aoba quickly grabs his by the arm forcing him to stand. The koto falls from his lap as he feels the compelling force to look straight at his eyes.

Aoba stares right at his eyes. Aoba has seen this pair of eyes before, strangely he doesn't remember where but he is  _very_  sure. Not everyone has this color of eyes.

"You, who are you?"

Hostile, Izaya notes. He tries not to think too much off the uncomfortable feeling he is getting from the younger male's hold. He looks at him studying his features, he's younger than Izaya that he can tell, he's slender too.

"I asked you,  _who are you_?" Aoba repeats as he tightens his hold.

Izaya winces quietly at the hold but he doesn't try too hard to move away from the younger man's grip, trying to pull himself free would entail either pushing the man away or prying his hands off which would either way hurt the other party and cause them to rouse suspicion—

"Aoba let go."

The voice is clear, everyone stops and quiet down at the sound. Izaya blinks, he heard this voice before. The door opens and two unknown men steps in, from Izaya's guests they are guards or personal attendants. Then behind them is a figure, the two taller men did not allow Izaya to see the man.

"M-My Lord I—"

" _Let go._ "

Aoba did as he is told, he lets go of Izaya's arm and comes down to his knees to greet the new addition to the room. He was followed by the man with a scar and the foreigner. The room fell in complete silence as the two men moves aside to give way to a figure clad in kimono, and a linen mask covering his features from nose down.

Izaya looks at him, he doesn't mean to stare but he felt a strange wave of familiarity to the man.

"You may rest." The figure says to Izaya.

Izaya bows his head curtly before taking the koto and putting it aside. He sits quietly in his spot and bows his head again ending his performance. The man walks to his seat and takes it, as soon as he does a maiko walks to pour him a cup of tea.

"I'd rather not see you laying a hand to the performers Aoba-kun." The stranger says.

Izaya notes the man's gait and posture, he's small, he doesn't have the air of a leader in him. His voice indicates someone very young, probably around Aoba's age, he guesses. He doesn't sound angry either, not authoritative but something akin to calm and composed.

"Forgive I was—"

"Today's performer is Kujiragi- _sama_ 's new pride." The man takes his cup and raises it to Izaya, "I can see why."

Izaya bows his head quietly at the compliment.

"However, that is not the matter we have in hands." The man starts. "I would not take too much of your time, I know you are busy as well."

He sips in his tea and takes a pause.

"The fire in that took Orihara- _sama_  is not an accident."

The three guests all have different reactions, the foreigner narrows his eyes, while the man with the scar crosses his arms over his chest, and Aoba straightens up.

"I have a very strong inclination to believe that the culprit behind this is the very same person behind the same incident that took Lady Orihara years ago." He continues, "I grieve the loss of an important informant, however that is not the subject at hand. The true fear I have is the man behind this."

"Everyone is angry at someone somehow, what's the big deal?" Aoba says.

"One may look at things at that perspective but…" The shogun sighs.

"What of it?" The foreigner asks.

"I fear that the man behind this is not in the right state of mind and that alone can be quite frightening." The shogun says.

"I see." The man with the scar says, "The height or irrationality."

"Very well, Akabayashi-san." The man says.

"But if that person wanted to kill Orihara- _sama_ ," The foreigner says, "Why only now, why didn't he do it before, or right after Lady Orihara's incident?"

There was a small silence for a while before the host of the banquet speaks.

"I think I know now why." He answers, "And thus I condemn him more, I wish for this person to be found, I am distressed until he is seen I know for one he shall not stop here. There will be more lives endangered, civilians and more."

"I understand." The foreigner answers.

"You can count on me." Akabayashi says.

"I shall do as you please." Aoba answers.

The shogun raises his cup once again for them.

…

As soon as all of the host's guests has left, Izaya and the man was the only one remaining. The well trained brunet stays still, head bowed down to the owner of the house.

"Please leave us be." The host says.

Izaya raises his head slightly and finds all the occupant of the room bow their head and head to the door. He slowly raises in his seat to follow but was stopped when the man raised his hand and gesture him to stay still.

"Not you." he says. "Remain here."

Izaya bows his head in acknowledgement of the other's order and waist until the last of the of them has left. As soon as the door closes behind the last person, the host turns to look at the brunet.

"Won't you pour me some tea?" he asked.

The brunet bows his head curtly and walks to the man gracefully. He sits in the side of the table, he holds the sleeve of his dominant arm as he pours the tea to the man's cup. He takes the cup with his two hands and offers it to the man with a bow.

The man accepts it and he scents the tea, he slips it under his mask and drinks it quietly.

Izaya watches his movements, there is a sense of familiarity in him and yet he couldn't quite say for sure. The other puts the cup down before breathing out a sigh.

"How are you?" the man asks. Izaya didn't know how to answer the man's question. He decided to avoid it and return the question with a smile.

When he doesn't answer he sees the man blink. There is a glint in his eyes that told Izaya the man smirked under his mask. Then he reaches to the soft material of the mask before peeling it away. Izaya's eyes widen.

"Hello Izaya-san, we meet again."

Izaya clearly remember this  _boy_. He is certain, this boy is— _Ryuugamine Mikado_.

"I assume you remember me." Mikado says with his youthful smile.

The smile that used to make him look innocent now somehow made Izaya shiver down his spine. He could manipulate someone into thinking he is merely a civilian, but the truth is…he's one of the most renowned shogun. Who would ever think?

"You are just like Suichiro- _sama_ , such excellent memory." Mikado says. "I've always wondered what his son looked like, your red eyes really is quite impressive."

" _Are you mocking me?"_  Izaya signs. He didn't even care if he understands him or not, his overly sweet and naïve way of speaking is becoming too good to be true.

"Please don't be harsh on me." Mikado says, he smiles a bit, "I do not wish to sully the memory of your father. I owe him a lot of things."

" _Did you plan this?"_

"Yes." Mikado says honestly.

" _Why?_ "

Mikado takes his cup and sips from it before answering the question, "In wars, information can be the most lethal weapon anyone could ever have. Knowledge has a power, anyone who holds it controls the  _game_."

Izaya finally understood, Mikado is one the most influential  _shogun_ , together with his men he looks over their territory and land. Peace is one of their top priority and to maintain this, a weapon is essential, his choice of weaponry is Izaya's father, the knowledge and information. And his death is almost like a blatant announcement of war against the shogun…Izaya's eyes may be just a small faction if it. The interest in his eyes was like a trophy, a sick desire for a prize after a triumph.

"Your father's death rings an alarm to me. My predecessors failed which resulted to the numerous death of innocent lives…the Orihara Clan's massacre. Your family's safety is the epitome that tells if we were as effective leader as we should. I have failed your father…one is enough."

Izaya blinks,  _"Then you…"_

"Yes, I  _must_ protect you and your siblings to atone for the failure of those before me." Mikado says. "However….I will  _need_ your help too."

.

.

.

.

" _Yes."_

...

"Izaya!"

Izaya's eyes widen as they reach down the hallways, he braced himself as he finds a familiar blonde man running towards him. Mikado steps aside and allows Shizuo do as he please. Without thinking twice the blonde grabs his shoulder, and stares right in his eyes.

"Are you alright?" Shizuo asks his amber eyes wide in concern.

" _What are you doing here?"_  Izaya signs to him as he tries to calm the blonde, and placed a hand over his chest.  _"How did you know I am here?"_

It takes hours to reach the estate from Shinra's home, and he doesn't even remember informing Shizuo where exactly they were going. He looks at Shizuo's eyes as the amber eyes looks at him.

"It was me." Mikado admits. "I asked Kujiragi-sama to tell Heiwajima-san of your whereabouts…a part of a punishment."

As Mikado said the last five words of his statement, Izaya sees a figure behind Shizuo, a heavily bruised Aoba sat in the corner of the room nursing his swollen jaw. Izaya realized what the other meant. He looked up at Shizuo and frowned.

" _You did not have to do that."_ Izaya says almost reprimanding,  _"I told you not to let me be, I can handle myself perfectly."_

Shizuo doesn't say anything and grabbed Izaya's wrist. He looked at Mikado, his stone hard gaze lingered at the younger male. Mikado smiles innocently.

"Thank you." Shizuo says, his voice is strict and uptight though, something told Mikado the blonde does  _not_  trust him…not even the slightest. He bows his head to him. "I'll take him home now."

Izaya is about to raise his hand to complain when the blonde takes his other hand and pulls him along with him. Izaya squirms from the other's hold but he find the effort futile. As soon as they were a few feet away from Mikado, the blonde finally lets go of the other's other hand.

The brunet watches the other's broad back in front of him, his warm and calloused hand in his small wrist as he takes him away. As they grew farther away from the hall and closer to the exit, Izaya's masks peels slowly.

One,

By one, it peels…

Until he finally feels the last strand of it leave him.

Then he feels a tremor shoot up in his whole body, he remember the frightening feeling of being surrounded by strange men, Aoba's hold against him, his eyes staring down at his while he fights the urge to push him away. A sob rises up to his lips, his hands shakes and his whole body grows weak under the comfort of Shizuo's hold. As they reach the gates, he feels the hot tears slowly welling up in his eyes. He could feel Aoba's fingertips, his strong forceful hands lingering in his skin…he wanted to sracth it, brush it until he no longer feels it.

"Izaya."

Izaya's eyes widens, he feels as if the air is punched out of his lungs as Shizuo detaches his hand from his wrist, his hands automatically reaches out to that warmth that pulled away from him. His insticnts calls to it, pleading…begging not to go.

Then he finds himself wrapped in very strong and familiar warmth of Shizuo's embrace. Izaya sobs and clutches the back of the other's yukata as if he's trying to grab all his sanity back.

"You did great, you were very brave."


	12. Currant Blade

The moment a fledgling comes out of its shell, the first face they see they assume it as their mother. After years spending inside the cramp and dark egg shell, the first thing they see they assume it is the one who has borne them to the world, their safety, their home, their trust. They would follow them around, fear their absence and crave their presence. Imprint.

It's not like the birds wanted to, it is just how nature made them, to save them, to survive. Honestly, who would want to be tied to a certain person or thing, having connections that strong could have its flaws as well. Their mother's death would mean their death as well. Their dependency to them meant their life and normally no one would want that—humans especially, however for some it could be inevitable.

The sun is beginning to set, Kishitani Shinra stands in the garden watching as the bird flies back to the nest to her expecting fledglings. The collective chirps welcome the mother to her home. The bespectacled doctor has realized the potential danger of the current bond Shizuo and Izaya is sharing. At first glance it may be good for the two, but on the other hand there is danger.

Izaya most probably could be compare to the newly hatched fledgling, after being in isolation, away from the world, Shizuo comes to the picture. He slowly introduces him what he has missed all his life inside the Orihara Manor. He gained his trust and somehow this made Izaya unconsciously depend on him.

Shizuo is fully aware of this dependency which makes him feel more responsible for the brunet, to the point he feels that he  _must_  be there, always. The blond sees Izaya as a will, something that ties him to the world, he is his reason, his core. Izaya fears this kind of will, the will strong enough to put pass even the thought of his death.

"What is it Celty?" Shinra asks as he feels a familiar presence standing behind him.

Turning around, Shinra greets the headless woman with a soft smile.

" _What are you thinking?"_  Celty writes in her pad.

"Nothing of importance."

" _It doesn't look like it."_

Shinra laughs, of course she would know. Shinra sighs and walks towards the headless woman taking her hands in his.

 _Fledgling, huh_.

Shinra's the same, he thought to himself. He was unable to relate to children his age and that made him feel—alien to them. He felt abnormal, like he does not belong there…until Celty came. Celty made him feel less alien to the world, she taught him to be  _more_  human than anyone could.

" _What is it?"_

"I'm just thinking when Shizuo and Izaya will be coming home."

Celty moves her neck, the movement Shinra assumes to be a nod. The headless fairy slips her hand away from the doctor's hold and starts to write again.

" _I already made dinner, we should wait for them."_

"I agree."

…

"Welcome!" Shinra greets as he pops his head out from the  _genkan_  to see Shizuo and Izaya.

To the doctor's surprise, he finds Izaya wearing one of Shizuo's haori around himself. The brunet's eyes are red while Shizuo seems to not to be on his better moods. The blond quietly takes off his footwear and places it to the  _geta box_.

"Dinner is ready." Shinra says attempting to lighten up the two's mood. "Celty cooked."

"Celty  _always_  cook." Shizuo says.

Without saying another word, Shizuo walks pass Shinra leaving Izaya on the entryway. The doctor raises an eyebrow at the blond's action and follows him with his gaze.

"I'll take be taking a bath first, go ahead I'll eat right after." Shizuo says before waving his hand in dismissal.

Izaya remains quiet in the side as he watches Shizuo leaves. The brunet chews in his lower lip as he pulls the haori close to himself. Shizuo kept quiet all throughout their journey back to Shinra's house, the silence felt like lead getting heavier and heavier as each seconds pass. Izaya knew Shizuo wanted to scold him, to tell him  _I told you so_  but he kept it to himself.

" _You were brave."_

Izaya's eyes widen as he hears the loud pounding of his heart.

_Why?_

_Why am I…_

Shinra watches Izaya carefully, his slightly panicked and confused expression is enough to give the doctor the gist of what happened.

"I'll call Celty to help you with changing." Shinra says quietly.

Izaya nods weakly to Shinra.

The brunet stays in his spot as Shinra returns back inside. He hears him calling Celty and soon the headless courier stood there with Shinra gesturing for him to come with her. Izaya follows Celty inside and to his room.

Closing the door behind her, Celty watches as Izaya stands in the middle of the room, the brunet's expression is blank. His lips are trembling but his eyes are firm and stoic. The headless woman stares quietly, she remembers when Shinra told her about him for the first time.

Many people did not understand Orihara Izaya. Many saw him as a prideful, spiteful, manipulative young man who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but Shinra did not see that, and somehow Celty is starting to understand that.

His pride, his anger and manipulative side, it's merely his shell to the cruel world he woke up in. He was forced to trust no one, to be angry, to fill himself with spikes so no one would touch him because every time someone does…it breaks him.

Izaya is not strong.

Izaya is weak so he has to be strong.

Celty walks towards Izaya and starts to undo the brunet's  _obi_. Izaya's frame is small, just like his heart. It is easily shaken, easily wounded and easily breaks, so he probably covered them with layers and layers of his spite and anger. He took all of it, drunk all the betrayals and anger, he made it into his armor so it would no longer hurt him.

As the last piece of Izaya's clothes peels off him, Celty finds a bruise on the brunet's arm, from the size of it the headless courier concludes this is a man's hand.

" _Your arm…"_  she signs towards Izaya.

Izaya soundlessly sigh before signing back,  _"They are inevitable."_

Celty doesn't comment and picks up the clothes on the floor, she puts them to the side before taking a clean set of clothes for the brunet. Izaya takes them and starts to put on his nagajuban. Celty waits with a new pair of kimono in her hands. Once Izaya is done with the undergarment, he starts to put the kimono on.

" _Would this be frequent?"_ Celty signs to him.

Izaya raises his head, his lips press in a straight line.

" _Maybe."_

Celty stares for a moment,  _"Maybe you should not continue with this plan, maybe you should find another way to help."_

Izaya doesn't answer, he continues to tie his obi around his waist. As soon as he finishes he turns to face Celty.

" _Shinra didn't even dared to stop me, why would you?"_

" _Shinra won't say it, but he's also concerned, I know."_ Celty replies.  _"I don't really mind whatever it is you choose to do but I care for Shinra, I care about the things he cares about."_

" _Why?"_

Celty stops, her hands still in midair. Izaya wonders even way before why Celty even stays. She could have left, if it is true that she is indeed a powerful creature of some far away country in the west, why did she stay.

" _Because I love Shinra."_  Celty answers making Izaya's eyes wide.

Love, really? What a funny thing to say for a creature who takes lives. Love, why?

" _Love is a human thing_." Izaya says.

" _I know."_  Celty says,  _"And maybe I have become human enough."_

" _Why would you even want that."_  Izaya signs, " _You're a dullahan, right? You're powerful, you're…more why would you want to be like this? Why…"_

" _There are good things only human hearts could do."_

" _No, having a heart…it's hard."_

Celty takes Izaya's hand and puts it over her, to Izaya's surprise he doesn't hear a beat.

" _You don't know how much I envy your heart."_ Celty signs before she put a hand over Izaya's chest.  _"To be kind more than to be powerful and knowledgeable, that is what I hope for."_

Izaya doesn't say a word, he still doesn't understand. Why would anyone desire a heart, a weakness? Why would anyone want such fragile, such burdensome part? Why?

" _What are you afraid of Izaya-san?"_  Celty asks making the brunet's crimson eyes wide.

Afraid?

Was he…really just afraid?

Izaya feels his heart beating loudly again against his chest.

" _If anyone should be afraid, it should be Shizuo-kun don't you think?"_

With those words, Celty leaves the room with the door wide open. Izaya falls to his knees eyes wide with his heart drumming in his chest.

He remembers Shizuo running to his rescue every single time , wearing his heart in his sleeves. He remembers the frightened expression Shizuo would wear whenever he would be gone in his sight. The way his arms trembles as he embraces him every time.

If there was anyone that should have been frighten it would be Shizuo…

" _When you are strong people expect that you can haul yourself off trouble."_

Izaya remembers the blond's words to him. He remembers the blond's tender look when he said those words. He was always expected to pull himself out of his own trouble, nobody…really thought of him much before, he was used to putting himself on the line…for people like Izaya.

… _what an idiot._

Izaya pulls his knees close to his chest and puts his hands on his face. How silly, he could have a better life but he chose this.

…

In the end Izaya couldn't sleep. After the quiet dinner, he quickly heads back to his room, but sleep evades him just like peace of mind do. His toss and turns in his futon watching the ceiling as if some kind of answer would appear there.

Surely from then on, things would change. He will have to do things he usually don't, he has to be used to people, he needs to be used to men and he has to be stronger. Closing his eyes Izaya tries to picture a situation where he can protect himself, however instead of an imagination he found himself thinking about what happened earlier.

Aoba's angry and tight hold in his arm felt disgustingly familiar, izaya quickly finds himself opening his eyes and bolting up. He shakes his head as he tries to remove the thought away, he cannot be weak now.

Sighing the brunet decides to leave his room and get some air in the garden.

As soon as Izaya reaches the garden he stands there basking under the moonlight. He breathes in the cold air of the night, he allows his feet to take him around the garden, his thoughts are scattered and his fingertips starts to cool.

He breathes out and it fogs up in the air.

He wonders what his father would think of his decisions. He knows he might be angry, he had always said he does not wish anyone in his family to suffer once again. His father…he was a kind man if anyone would dare look deep pass the cursed name of their family. Being a kind man that he is he would have told Izaya to allow fate to handle things. He'd say Izaya would have been safer inside or in Shizuo's care.

But everyone knows right now, that is not enough.

The safety of the people's arms that cradled him had become been painted in blood, the backs that protected him had been wounded. He has to do something. He has to learn as well to live for it is no longer enough that someone is there for him. He cannot keep relying on people…because they are  _people._

He has to be strong as well, just like how fledgling needs to learn how to fly…even if it meant falling down on the nest, breaking his own wings, burning them.

"If you wanted to walk at this hour at least wear a haori."

Izaya turns around and finds Shizuo with his arms crossed over his chest. The blonde's hair looked as if it was glowing under the moon silver beams. His amber eyes were tender and somehow warmer. Shizuo walks closer to him.

"What?"

Izaya sighs quietly and looks away.

Shizuo looks at Izaya's small frame. The moment when the shogun's messenger arrived to tell him what happened in the estate, panic rose to his veins. The thought of Izaya having to deal with those all on his own placed him on edge. Even if he knew he agreed with Izaya's decision to pave his own path, he couldn't help not to worry.

All his life, Shizuo was feared, he was a monster in the eyes of many. He washed his hands with the blood of his enemies once.

Everything he touches breaks.

Izaya wasn't.

Izaya is different, perhaps it is why he doesn't want to see him hurt, perhaps it was why he wants to protect him.

Shizuo's eyes darts to Izaya's arm, once one of the shogun's men told Shizuo that Aoba grabbed and  _tried_  to hurt Izaya anger filled him. Not because of anything, but because Shizuo realized how powerless he is in this kind of situation. He realizes Izaya is correct—he can't always protect him.

"What did you two talked about?" Shizuo asks.

Izaya turns to face Shizuo and starts to sign,  _"He wants me to take my father's place."_

"And your decision?"

Izaya pauses before answering.

" _I said yes."_

Shizuo groans and runs his hands his hand over his hair. He obviously is not very pleased with Izaya's decision, however…he knows and understand the brunet's reason which made it more difficult. If only he could play pretend and fake as if he didn't know any better.

He wants him to be able to stand on his own feet too, to fight his own battles but at the same time, he didn't want that. He wants to keep him there, where he wouldn't be hurt anymore than he is.

But he knows the truth.

Hurt is inevitable.

Shizuo sighs loudly as he swallows the painful truth. There is nothing he could truly do, the world will not stop at his will.

He could only be there for him unfortunately.

"Izaya."

Izaya tilts his head to the side as he watches Shizuo take something from inside his sleeves. The blond shows something wrapped in a beautiful red piece of cloth decorated with white and orange spider lilies.

"That's yours." Shizuo says as Izaya takes the item.

Izaya blinks in confusion as he accepts the item. He lightly traces the cloth, he is trained enough to know this cloth is not something anyone could get their hands on. It's an expensive item which made the brunet look up at Shizuo in question.

When the blonde doesn't say anything, Izaya starts to peel the wrapped cloth. Before Izaya fully unwraps the item Shizuo speaks…

.

.

.

"Happy birthday."


End file.
